Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
How do you get through those early days...
When your body is screaming for another drink?
When your brain cannot be calm?
When you just don't care enough?
It's NOT just about surrender in my opinion.
For me, in the first week, it was about willingness and trust. I became WILLING to try sobriety even though ALL I wanted was to keep drinking. I TRUSTED those who told me the suffering would pass and would not kill me. I had enough willingness and faith to JUST NOT DRINK no matter what. I believe I FINALLY surrendered at day 31 around 3am.
It's NOT always about rock bottom or having lost everything.
I consider myself a high-bottom drunk. I truly believe my behavior would have killed me before I hit ROCK bottom, if that makes sense. I had to bring my own bottom UP. No one was going to MAKE me drink, and I would not HAVE to lose everything if I was WILLING to commit to a program and follow direction.
I DID NOT WANT TO STOP DRINKING. I did not care about me. I did care about my family and I wanted to stop hurting others. Rationally, I knew that I had to stop. Rationally, I knew that I could not continue on the downward spiral unless I was willing to lose everything, including my own LIFE.
I rolled the dice on AA and I trusted those who repeated over and over "this too shall pass". So far, no one has led me astray. My program is so far working.
I am only 37 days sober, but this is MY experience, strength, and hope so far. I am only just finished with step 1.
I know everyone's experience is different. This is mine.
When your body is screaming for another drink?
When your brain cannot be calm?
When you just don't care enough?
It's NOT just about surrender in my opinion.
For me, in the first week, it was about willingness and trust. I became WILLING to try sobriety even though ALL I wanted was to keep drinking. I TRUSTED those who told me the suffering would pass and would not kill me. I had enough willingness and faith to JUST NOT DRINK no matter what. I believe I FINALLY surrendered at day 31 around 3am.
It's NOT always about rock bottom or having lost everything.
I consider myself a high-bottom drunk. I truly believe my behavior would have killed me before I hit ROCK bottom, if that makes sense. I had to bring my own bottom UP. No one was going to MAKE me drink, and I would not HAVE to lose everything if I was WILLING to commit to a program and follow direction.
I DID NOT WANT TO STOP DRINKING. I did not care about me. I did care about my family and I wanted to stop hurting others. Rationally, I knew that I had to stop. Rationally, I knew that I could not continue on the downward spiral unless I was willing to lose everything, including my own LIFE.
I rolled the dice on AA and I trusted those who repeated over and over "this too shall pass". So far, no one has led me astray. My program is so far working.
I am only 37 days sober, but this is MY experience, strength, and hope so far. I am only just finished with step 1.
I know everyone's experience is different. This is mine.
Good luck girl! You can do it.
It was Wednesday February 25th of last year at 8:30 am. I was on day 3 of detoxing for the hundredth time and was sick as hell. I felt so dead inside. I felt hollow, like my eyes were open but I could see nothing. Just a blank stare...
After he gave me my ticket, I pulled over in a store parking lot, put my dead down on my steering wheel and sobbed. I mean a long hard sob that did not end until about 9pm that evening.
I cried all day at work, the tears would not stop. I posted about it on here but later asked DS to delete the thread because I was embarrassed at publicly displaying such raw emotions. I now wish I hadn't asked them to delete it, it may have helped someone.
My coworker/friend gave me a roll of paper towels at work and hugged me several times throughout the day, she said if I kept crying I was going to get dehydrated. :)
I went to a meeting that night after work and swear I did step 1 in that meeting, in front of everyone. I almost shouted through gritted teeth that I am powerless and I can't do this anymore. I felt so stupid. :)
I think I'll keep doing what it suggested by those I respect in recovery & my awesome sponsor, so far, they haven't steered me wrong either and I trust them. Keep up the good work Anna. :)