Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
The Enabler is a person who feels he must not let the alcoholic suffer the consequences of her
drinking when he can so easily prevent this by a simple rescue operation. To him it is like saving
a drowning woman; it simply must be done. But this rescue mission conveys to the alcoholic
what the rescuer really thinks: "You cannot make it without my help." The Enabler thus reveals a
lack of faith in the alcoholic's ability to take care of herself, which is a form of judgment and
condemnation.
The role of the professional Enabler - (i.e. clergyman, doctor, lawyer or social worker) - can be
most destructive, if it conditions the family to reduce the crisis rather than to use it to initiate a
recovery program. The family has probably known for a few years that drinking was creating
serious problems, but this is not so apt to be visible to person outside of the family. When the
family turns to professionals who are not adequately qualified to deal with alcoholism, before the
anti-social behavior has become obvious, the family may be told that this not alcoholism and that
there is nothing they can do until the drinker wants help.
When alcoholism reaches the point where it breaks outside the family and the alcoholic herself
turns to such professional people, she secures a reduction of her crisis by seeking and using those
persons as Enablers. This again keeps the Merry-Go-Round going. The family which was told
initially that there were no signs of alcoholism is now taught that the way to deal with it is to
remove the symptoms, rather than to deal realistically with the illness. The very persons who
failed to identify the alcoholism in its early stages may now treat the more advanced symptoms
by helping the alcoholic get back on the merry-go-round. This further conditions the family to
believe that nothing can be done to cope with the alcoholism. Even when the family members
attempt to secure help for themselves or the alcoholic, the professional role may be that of an
Enabler, rather than leading the family and the alcoholic into a long-range program of recovery.
As the Enabler is the first person on the scene, he influences the remainder of the second act
because it sets the direction and movement of this part of the play. Thus the uninformed
professional helps everyone get back on the Merry-Go-Round
(An Alanon Publication)
A Merry Go Round Named Denial
http://www.theharborhhi.org/Content/amgrf.pdf
drinking when he can so easily prevent this by a simple rescue operation. To him it is like saving
a drowning woman; it simply must be done. But this rescue mission conveys to the alcoholic
what the rescuer really thinks: "You cannot make it without my help." The Enabler thus reveals a
lack of faith in the alcoholic's ability to take care of herself, which is a form of judgment and
condemnation.
The role of the professional Enabler - (i.e. clergyman, doctor, lawyer or social worker) - can be
most destructive, if it conditions the family to reduce the crisis rather than to use it to initiate a
recovery program. The family has probably known for a few years that drinking was creating
serious problems, but this is not so apt to be visible to person outside of the family. When the
family turns to professionals who are not adequately qualified to deal with alcoholism, before the
anti-social behavior has become obvious, the family may be told that this not alcoholism and that
there is nothing they can do until the drinker wants help.
When alcoholism reaches the point where it breaks outside the family and the alcoholic herself
turns to such professional people, she secures a reduction of her crisis by seeking and using those
persons as Enablers. This again keeps the Merry-Go-Round going. The family which was told
initially that there were no signs of alcoholism is now taught that the way to deal with it is to
remove the symptoms, rather than to deal realistically with the illness. The very persons who
failed to identify the alcoholism in its early stages may now treat the more advanced symptoms
by helping the alcoholic get back on the merry-go-round. This further conditions the family to
believe that nothing can be done to cope with the alcoholism. Even when the family members
attempt to secure help for themselves or the alcoholic, the professional role may be that of an
Enabler, rather than leading the family and the alcoholic into a long-range program of recovery.
As the Enabler is the first person on the scene, he influences the remainder of the second act
because it sets the direction and movement of this part of the play. Thus the uninformed
professional helps everyone get back on the Merry-Go-Round
(An Alanon Publication)
A Merry Go Round Named Denial
http://www.theharborhhi.org/Content/amgrf.pdf
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My 6mo twin DD's are EBF and just started rice cereal on the first. Everything has been going fine except this morning one of them had a diaper rash (lots of redness around her anus). I read this as one of the signs of an allergy. BUT I did just buy a different brand diaper yesterday (which they have used randomly before w/no issues). Do you think its the cereal or the diaper? Im ready to start...
The reason For me LMAO; then you can get the ol' school AA or people like myself that are "the dreaded unablers".
My nephew and step son can't stand it.
Do the crime do the time. They just hauled my nephew off last thursday for a decent stretch.
Er, isn't this one of those sensitive topics which might be so upsetting to newcomers that we're supposed to "take it outside" here?
Maybe, but but but
Good article!!!!!
We hear "love others as you love yourself". That tells me I should love myself first. The Enabler becomes so focused on the alcoholic, they lose all sense of self.
We chose it , so passing any blame on to others is just part of the disease?
mmmm food for thought.. good article
Is it murder if we die and a so called love one enables?
Seems easier to blame it on everyone or everything else..we can only be enabled to drink if we got there ourself's in the first place.??.. I call it passing the buck
I am sure a good friend of mine who took his life because of his drink problems looks down now and say " my family enabled me" its their fault!!??
Billy:)