Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
No, I don't mean those tacky refrigerator magnets with the serenity prayer on them in Gothic lettering, nor those praying hands that look like they got chopped off of somebody's corpse in a morgue. Most of the people I know who've found lasting and constantly renewable happiness in sobriety, myself included, are those of us who've discovered or rediscovered, nurtured and disciplined ourselves to pursue a passion for some craft, skill or art that engages us creatively in our daily lives.
This impulse prodded us at first to seek, and then we soon found in our contact with the world directly in front of us, an effective way to get over ourselves by seeing and relating to the "wow in the now," rather than looking at life as an obstacle course to navigate without drinking.
Thoughts? Experience? Examples?
This impulse prodded us at first to seek, and then we soon found in our contact with the world directly in front of us, an effective way to get over ourselves by seeing and relating to the "wow in the now," rather than looking at life as an obstacle course to navigate without drinking.
Thoughts? Experience? Examples?
"It is not humility to insist on being someone that you are not. It is as much as saying that you know better than God who you are and who you ought to be. How do you expect to arrive at the end of your own journey if you take the road to another man's city? How do you expect to reach your own perfection by leading somebody else's life? His sanctity will never be yours; you must have the humility to work out your own salvation in a darkness where you are absolutely alone...
"And so it takes heroic humility to be yourself and to be nobody but the man, or the artist, that God intended you to be. You will be made to feel that your honesty is only pride. This is a serious temptation because you can never be sure whether you are being true to your true self or only building up a defense for the false personality that is the creature of your own appetite for esteem. But the greatest humility can be learned from the anguish of keeping your balance in such a position: of continuing to be yourself without getting tough about it and asserting your false self against the false selves of other people."
Thomas Merton, "New Seeds of Contemplation," New Directions Publishing Co. 1961, p. 100-101
I do have one more story for you. Jules was a huge fan of Beverly Sills, except that he didn't know her real name, and at one point in the 1060s he had lost an LP of her doing "Carmen" that was out of print. Finally, as a last ditch effort to find a copy, he called her office in New York and told the receptionist his name and why he was calling.
She put him on hold and a minute later Sills herself came on the line. "Jules Olitski, is that really you? It's me, Bubbles Silverman. You were my babysitter when we were kids in Brooklyn. Do you remember?"
Needless to say, that was a day he never forgot!
Love your wildlife photos, Nemorino!
http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/jill_bolte_taylor_s_powerful_stroke_of_insight.html
I think the video makes the point that our alcoholism is in some sense a gift, an opportunity to tap into a dimension of the mind that would otherwise remain a distant rumor.
To use a favorite analogy, "working the program" is equivalent to downloading some new software into your computer. But it just sits there like a book on a shelf and doesn't do anything for us until we install it and integrate it into the way we see and cope with our lives.
I watched that video and she mentions her brother is schizophrenic so I thought I'd post on that subject.
I told you that my eldest son is mildly schizophrenic and I always say mildly to people and I have examined why, it's to say he's very intelligent and I don't want him or any other schizophrenics discounted because of their illness.
Here is a picture of Sean.
http://s32.photobucket.com/albums/d48/enaid_1956/?action=view&current=sean.jpg
It started to manifest when he was in his first year of college at the age of 19 and he's now 33 years old.
My son, as most schizophrenics, prefers to be alone most of the time and I don't know if society makes them because they get tired of being harassed about why they don't act or think like everyone else or if it's due to their different brain patterns (but I'm the same way in liking to be alone).
My son won't take meds, he did for one year and hated it as most SZs do, it made him feel like a feelingless robot he says though he does self-medicate on other things as often as he can.
I have accepted him as he is as hard as that is with his little quirks and because of that he doesn't mind so much being around me but he hates being around my rigid ex husband that insists he be like everyone else.
To make this post short, it has taken me many years to come to the conclusion that as long as he's happy that's all that matters as long as he isn't hurting anyone else. He may not behave as we want him to in public at times (to the embarrassment of his dad, which his dad concludes is hurting him) but I truly think Sean is happy most of the time, as happy as most humans are.
Maybe I'm wrong but I can't change this situation nor make him take meds. All I can do is love him which I certainly do.
This may seem off-topic a bit but I don't think it really is. I told you in a private message he keeps busy doing his little things in his little world that he keeps small on purpose because the immensity of everything overwhelms him (and me too) and makes me crazy so I certainly see your point about the art of recovery and zeroing in on what's enjoyable.
I'd much rather just be going about my normal (non-drinking of course) life.
I was at my best in sobriety was when I was creating. My passion for awhile had been pottery. I was at one with the clay and loved making pieces for friends and family.
The key is nurturing it and sticking with it, which I did not do... relapse a couple of years later... and bingo. Life went to hell.
I had also taken up sketching and plan on getting back to that. I have the perfect subject to do! My grand niece. I had done a portrait of my niece and will now do her daughter. I'm excited about it!
Pottery is an expensive hobby, so that will be awhile. Too much restitution in my 9th step amends. hahaha
So much to try and just not enough hours in the day lol. I love surfing and sailing and going to the art gallery, taking Spring walks and smelling the Jasmine (out now) and watching spiders weave their webs in the wet misty warmth of Spring. I'm passionate about helping the local kids and am active on sporting committees in the community. I no longer stand between me and my dreams and I won't know if I don't at least try. Glad it did give Taekwondo a go. It's taught me a lot.
In my mid 30's I began to explore horseback riding. Since gaining my initial sobriety, I've been working on some of the fine details of dressage (google it- lol). It looks incredibly formal, but it's actually the most natural form of riding.
I never had the patience for this detail when I was drinking, but now I break out in a big smile when the horse and I "are one"...... even if it's just a few minutes. You can spend a life time learning the details, and thankfully I have a lifetime now.
I also cheer on the others in my group when they do well!
I'm still on that journey and there are many days I do feel a bit lost and restless but I carry the hope and perseverance to re-gain, re-capture.... build anew a good and well rounded life.
Thanks for reminding me of a rediscovered joy of sobriety.