I say tell your wife to hide the wine and go out for dinner. Let her order whatever she wants and make sure you tell her you are not drinking no matter what. OR, if you need her to not drink, just tell her. I'm sure she will understand.

Wecanbhappy - I disagree .....birthdays should be celebrated by everyone!!! I think older people get miserable giving up all the fun things they did when they were young! But, you can surely have a fun bday celebration without drinking.

Have you shared this with your wife?

Jayus, as I'm sure you would agree, alcoholics are generally narcissistic and immature people. Birthday parties for adults feeds into both of these character flaws. Are you telling me that some silly adult birthday party is worth risking your life for. Grow up and quit worrying about "me" all the time. Birthday parties are for kids not for adult struggling to be sober.

wecanbhappy - So just because we are alcoholics mean we have to get rid of any and all forms of fun and entertainment just to ensure we don't drink? I don't think that has much to do with sobriety....I can just as easily drink at home by myself as I can at a birthday party. The addiction doesn't only show itself when I'm having fun. If it did, I might be inclined to agree with you.

And he's not talking about throwing a huge party; he's talking about taking her to dinner. He's just trying to be a considerate husband alongside making sure he stays sober.

Lighten up a bit.

My suggestion would be to eliminate your trigger (the wine) anyway you can. You can have a good time without drinking, which was one of the first things I learned in treatment. We actually had someone come in and show us how to play some very fun games! I can't imagine getting paid to do something like that. It's my kind of job.

Today is the day so I am wondering what is happening. I can only hope you made sobriety your number one priority.

Good Luck!

Hi Everyone --

We did end up going out to dinner so I had ginger ale to toast her birthday! So today is day10! New record for me.

Rich

Nice job! Hooray for Day 10!

Congrats the day passed fast, you did not drink, and felt better for it.. good job.

Very good job! I'm impressed....keep it up...it gets easier. I have gotten 8 years before so I do know that it gets easier.
I'm on day 3 right now and dying....so please remember...you quit for a reason....not because drinking was fun or relaxing anymore.
I wish your wife will not drink those bottles in front of you period. Her birthday "week" or not.

Congrats Rich!! Job well done..you should be proud!

Thanks everyone for your continued support. Between seltzer and Ginger Ale I've been doing really well. I find that as long as I have something to drink I don't mind my wife having wine.

I'm making sure that we always have plenty of seltzer in the house and when we go out I order Ginger Ale and so far its been good. Each day is a new "record" for me which is exciting as well.

I did also try to give up coffee because of how it effects my anxiety but I only went about 6 days before I caved and now I've had coffee pretty much every morning since then.

We're flying to Florida (anxiety permitting) on 1/31 and spending three nights with a close childhood friend. (Fortunately?) he too went through AA and has been sober for 6 years so when we watch the Super Bowl together there won't be any alcohol around. Our wives may drink wine in another room since neither will be interested in the game but we're both okay with that.

Of course if I succeed in making the flight I'd love to have a celebratory drink when we land but I won't.

Rich

Hey Rich, that's great news! I knew you could do it. Keep up the good work.