I'm sorry. The obvious (all but impossible for an alcoholic without help) answer is don't start. Get help now. Talk to someone You PM indicated more than just a "starting drinking" problem. You can work through this. call 08457 90 90 90.Talk to them ...
Dennis

Yes-it is numbing to drink. We block out crap. Then it wears off and the terror and anxiety of reality sets in. And then we drink to forget about what we did when we were drinking-or what we missed.

Vicious cycle-do you want to get off the rollercoaster? I was on it for twenty years and each day I drank made it progressively harder to stop. It only got worse and worse.....

Yup its called untreated alcoholism, most of us have been right where your at.

So what's your plan of action?

put the plug in the jug!

hugs bill

Hiya Paul, this is one of the ways in which I was powerless - everytime I sobered up I would tell myself that I would qauit I would not drink again yet I still continued to drink. Why not check out AA? I don't know whereabouts you are in GBR but the national number is 08457 697 555. The calls cost same as a local call and show up as private numbers on your phone bill (to protect your anonymity)

If you want let me know what area you are in you can PM me if you want to. I am in north London. If I can help just pm me.

Lyn

very surprised this only has five responses in over 24hrs time...sounds like you need some help my friend happens that AA has answers for how to keep from taking that first drink...get to the meeting tonight and come talk to us sober tomorrow!
hugs
bill

What are you doing to stay stoped? My problem, when I was drinking, was I am alcoholic. Which meant that as soon as I stopped, I started obsessing, and when I obsessed, without a program, I'd eventually rationalize that first drink. Sometimes in a few days, sometimes months, a few times in a year+. But it happened. And each time when I started drinking again it was as bad or worse than when I stopped.
I needed something to help me stay stopped and I found it. "It" was a connection with a god of my undrestanding....

Thanks for all your replies and help. In my heart i know that my drinking has got to a stage where AA is the only solution. I guess that is the definition of alcoholism. Everything in the Big Book ive read rings totally true for me. 'The easier softer way' leads to all the same pattern of behaviour every time.

I keep relapsing, too. But the last time (August 6), I didn't have a sponsor, and I wasn't going to AA meetings as much as I should. I now have a sponsor who is putting me through "relapse prevention boot camp", and I'm going to meetings everyday. I feel better, and I'm more aware of my triggers, and I call people every day. When I had an urge to drink before, I purposely did not call anyone because I didn't want to be stopped. Now, I don't want to relapse, and I do call. I also have a better handle on the "whys" of my relapsing, thanks to my new sponsor. Maybe you need a sponsor as well, and phone numbers of other AA's to contact for support. It really does help. Best of luck, and please keep coming back!