Alcoholism Support Group

Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.

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Spouse does'nt get it

jpf777777
jpf777777
I am new to recovery (again) being 2 weeks sober tomorrow. I have been married 39 years and been drunk for 40.

I am attempting to give sobriety my full attention so I can get stable and on the right path. My wife hates that I drink and refuse to drink like a normal person. I have tried to explain what this disease is but she thinks it is a lack of will power or that I drink to spite her.

She goes off when I go to meetings. I guess I just don't understand her as she does not I. She dropped a guilt trip on me and then refuses to try to resolve the issue.

Talk about make me want to drink! This makes for a dangerous, and toxic, environment for me.

Enough blathering, Have a blessed day1
deleted_user
deleted_user
You might try introducing her to AlAnon. A few meetings may get her to reconsider her stance...


Hugs,
Dennis
blueviolet725
blueviolet725
It says in the Alanon book that sometimes the sober spouse really cannot deal with the change in power in the relationship when the alcoholic gets sober. They are used to making all the choices about everything, and now they have to give up some of that power. You need to do what you need to do to get well, and as Denny says, offer her Alanon meetings.
jeffneedshelp
jeffneedshelp
She hates you drunk, and now she dislikes your sobriety?

As Denny said, AlAnon may be the place to get her.
1is2many
1is2many
Keep the path an get sober. things will get better, just keep in mind the goal and ask the wife to come to the MTG with you. When I started to go to mtgs my wife was jealous but when she saw it was just a group of ppl wanting to get better she actually told me to keep going.
You can do this

1is2
lostnursetoo
lostnursetoo
I am sorry that your wife doesn't seem to understand that you can't "drink like a normal person". My husband struggles with this as well. He wants me to be able to go out with friends and have drinks, but then not drink at all otherwise. I don't think I can do this! For me, it's going to have to be all or nothing. I chose nothing! I agree with the others, maybe she needs to attend an Alanon meeting or at least talk to someone who can explain alcoholism to her.
Community LeaderExJerseyGirl2
ExJerseyGirl2
After a few months my husband learned to accept my not drinking. He never tried to pressure me into drinking but no matter what I said, he thought I decided to take a break or cut back, not quit for good. He didn't get it but he didn't have to for me to stay sober.

Of course, i did not go to meetings, so I didn't have that issue. But I do go to yoga, and as far as I am concerned, that is not up for discussion. It is something I need to do for me and I am going to make it fit into my schedule.

She can try to drop a guilt trip on you, but you don't have to pick it up. Be clear and calm about it and I think in time she'll come around.

And great job on two weeks!
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