Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
Ugh, I am not sure why this is bothering me so much, but it is...
So, I was at my sponsors place today, going over some step work, and we got lunch and were talking a bit before we started, and about the state convention we are all going to...she asked me if I had been to one before, and I told her no, she said that really surprised her! I was so confused! This is the first time I have been in A.A.....I mean I had gone to meeting in the past, just a few speratically, never really with any amount of time or never did I even really talk to the people....I have told her this before...why would it surprise her???? Does she not listen to me, not believe me?
Sometimes I feel like she doesnt believe that I really believe, or that I have lied to her about my past...I dont know what it is...
Ok, so I do not feel that she had to a lot of the basic work with me....I mean I was on here and other sites for like 3 years before I got sober, always relapsing but I was trying to get sober for 3 years via internet....and it really did help a LOT, I was able to ask questions, think about how I felt about God, talk about that too...read some of the BB, try to grasp that...while I didnt totally "get it" on my own, I did come to understand a lot and come to terms with a lot!
I just dont feel like she "gets me" or understands sometimes...or does she not pay attentions sometimes? why would it really surprise her that Ive never been to a state convention for AA??? and not sure why this is bothering me...
Sorry to be so long...
should I ask her again why? when I asked her why today she shrugged and asked me what my bottom was, which got me talking and distracted from her statement a bit!
And like a told her, my bottom or one of them was 3 years ago, a litlle while before I started doing online stuff and trying to find more ansawers....I think a lot of people have bottoms way before they stopped drinking...right??
Ok I'll stop now, sorry again for being so long and I hope this makes sense!
So, I was at my sponsors place today, going over some step work, and we got lunch and were talking a bit before we started, and about the state convention we are all going to...she asked me if I had been to one before, and I told her no, she said that really surprised her! I was so confused! This is the first time I have been in A.A.....I mean I had gone to meeting in the past, just a few speratically, never really with any amount of time or never did I even really talk to the people....I have told her this before...why would it surprise her???? Does she not listen to me, not believe me?
Sometimes I feel like she doesnt believe that I really believe, or that I have lied to her about my past...I dont know what it is...
Ok, so I do not feel that she had to a lot of the basic work with me....I mean I was on here and other sites for like 3 years before I got sober, always relapsing but I was trying to get sober for 3 years via internet....and it really did help a LOT, I was able to ask questions, think about how I felt about God, talk about that too...read some of the BB, try to grasp that...while I didnt totally "get it" on my own, I did come to understand a lot and come to terms with a lot!
I just dont feel like she "gets me" or understands sometimes...or does she not pay attentions sometimes? why would it really surprise her that Ive never been to a state convention for AA??? and not sure why this is bothering me...
Sorry to be so long...
should I ask her again why? when I asked her why today she shrugged and asked me what my bottom was, which got me talking and distracted from her statement a bit!
And like a told her, my bottom or one of them was 3 years ago, a litlle while before I started doing online stuff and trying to find more ansawers....I think a lot of people have bottoms way before they stopped drinking...right??
Ok I'll stop now, sorry again for being so long and I hope this makes sense!
Being a sponsor requires a lot of patience and tolerance and "letting go!" haha.
But to demeen you with those words is unconscionable. Not good.
I agree with most of what has already been said. Ask her why it surprised her maybe? Express your feelings or apprehensions to her. If she is sponsoring you, you should be able to feel comfortable to express your feelings with her completely.
If you don't feel comfortable being entirely open & honest with her, I'd look for a new sponsor.....I have to be able to be completely 100% honest with my sponsor because it's important to me that my sponsor knows me well enough to know if somethings "hinky" and call me on it, ya know?
I know different people believe the steps should be done in different time frames. Some believe they should be done in a weekend or a month at the most. I personally believe it's best to move at a pace that you're both comfortable with.
I would hate to have rushed through any of them because I may not have a full understanding & I want to make certain that I understand the last one before moving on to the next ya know?
Talk to her about what you posted and see what she has to say and go with your gut instincts by her answers or explanations. :)
Good to see you. :)
I realized that my perceptions were of my own making. What I thought she was thinking - was the furthest thing from her mind. And she explained how much she understood my skewed perceptions ... because she experienced the same thing with her sponsor.
Our perceptions of reality are pretty skewed - especially in the beginning and now I learn how to work ~t h r o u g h~ them.