I'd rather live a little bored than have an exciting death.

i think at times the same thing but then i recall the nut houses, the jails, the hospitals, the rapes, the robberies etc. maybe boring might actually be serenity. i stay involved in activity and keep a routine going these days. i don't need nor do i want the excitement i remember so vividly that almost killed me.

I have found more exitement in my sober life than in my "drunken one".

One way, was realizing how pityful I was as an active drunk. Other was taking action in regards to changing my life.

I am making the best of a horrible divorce and family situation (my drunken fault) by online AA meetings, Face 2 face meetings, online dating services, getting out and working (even in this economy) and being more of a socialite in general...

There are people here on DS, my friends, who can turn "my frown"
upside down in minutes... Take me from glum to a kid who forgot his ritalin in minutes (NO comments Phil) ...

It doesn't just show up at your door. You have to make it happen. I did, and it was not easy at first. I stopped counting my days at around 105... I think I'm in my 115's now? Not even a concern right now, unless I had to start over at day 1.

You'll find it. Vaca's are great...don't get to comfortable in your surroundings, as I know of more Vaca. slips than any other. But enjoy it none-the-less. Just explore, one day at a time, and you'll get to enjoy sobriety as I do now.

Good Luck, and turn your frown upside down!!! you've got a friend here!

God Bless,
Dave ---aka---Eg

Hi, EuroGal! Congratulations on 3 months sober!! That's a great feeling when you find yourself not even sure any more how many days you've been sober, isn't it?

One of my best friends always says, "If you're not having fun in recovery, you're doing it wrong!"

I see from your profile that you live in Indiana. Maybe it's not sobriety that's boring to you -- maybe your head is clear enough after 3 months sober so you can see reality more clearly. And when you look around, the reality you are seeing clearly is... well, Indiana! ;D

Usually I advise against moving in hopes that things will get better in a different place. You know, "doing a geographic." But in your case, well, jeez, you're in Indiana! LOL

Just kidding! I hope your vacation shakes you out of your boredom. Where are you going? Illinois? Ohio? HARHARHARHAR

In my experience, the solution to alcoholism is more than just not drinking.

I know that you are not particularly keen on the idea of AA, but perhaps you can look into some other sort of spiritual development program?

I was also not keen on the idea of AA some a long time. I was able to put the drink down and that, I thought was what it was all about. I managed to keep myself sober for 8 months once and I did several months on more than one occasion.

The bottom line for mew though was there was always a drink with my name on it and it was always a question of when. How long could I hold out? The obsession to drink attacks silently, very quickly and suddenly, catching us unawares and it is very overpowering.

When i wasn't drinking, I was simply in transit from my last drink to my next one. What I also didn;t realise was that i was suffering from untreated alcoholism even when dry.

The symptoms of untreated alcoholism come i9n many forms. here are some from my experience:

1) A kind of gnawing away in my interior life. A quotidien mundanity that ate slowly away at my soul - subtle, yet powerful. The lights of life were dulled somewhat and everything lacked vibrance. Some call that boredom and that's what it felt like.
2) Restlessness. It's feeling that you need to be somewhere but you are not clear where and nowhere seems to hit the mark.
3) Discontentedness. A bit like one. It's a bit like that feeling of "is this really it?" "Is that all there is to offer?" Also feelings of waiting for something to happen, somethiong to make me feel alive if even for a second. My life felt dulled out somehow - everything was a bit grey. It also involved searching endlessly for external things to add excitment of feeling alive to my life. It was an endless pursuit of going from one thrill-seeking experience to the next.
4) Irritability. That for me was really dangerous waters to be in. I would get very snappy and quite resentful. Emotion filled text messages would go out to friends. I'd start to lose perspective on life and would become very blinkered and narrow in my thinking. I was full of self-pity.
5) Uncontrollable emotional nature. The emotional rollercoaster as people often call it. A period of feeling like life was really coming together, then bleakness and pointlessness, then feeling really terrific, then helpless and directionless. I could be easily tipped over and dominated by my emotions and often relapsed into drink or weed on them. Fear was ever present in my life and worked as a motivator and a paralysing force.

The bottom line with the above was a lack of fulfilment - inside - nothing to do with my external circumstances or material life.

I sometimes still get that gnawing bored feeling - hiding under duvets, lack of zeal for life. Perhaps that means I am moving closer to that one drink with my name on it. However thanks to getting on a spiritual programn I find I can snap out of it before too long in it.

Spirituality has to do with ones inner life. The life that is not the material or physical life. It covers thought, emotions and will - all the stuff that makes us tick but can't be touched. We need to exercise that part of ourselves (through selflessness and self-sacrifice and doing stuff we don't want to and, for me personally, seeking powewr from a source greater than me). Physical exercise doesn;t fill that hole entirely in my experience.

Look around for some sort of spiritual progression practice or, god forbid, try AA.

You sound like you have not yet figured out what to fill your "brain space" with. What is satifying for you? What brings you joy? I see that you decorate your pics (lovely btw)-are you artistic? I say devote a few hours each day to something creative and watch yourself come alive. I know for me, I love making art objects and can lose myself for hours in it. I do other mundane things of course, but really look forward to that portion of my day devoted to art. How about it?

Yeah you are probably not ready for sobriety yet is all, have fun! We will be here when you fall. People make sobriety boring, sobriety is never boring, if we find it boring usually it means we are thinking of drinking and all the dancing and stuff that goes with it. I find alot of things to do in sobriety that I have more fun doing then that stuff I use to do drinking.

you could try planting some bulbs.........

always made me feel better....lol!

Just kidding. Seriously relax. We all will find what it is we like to do.


That's what I tell myself, so whats good for me, is good for you!


~xox~
:0)
Lori

I was reading your profile you just haven't committed to a sober life is all, when you do you will feel better, then staying on the fence. Take care hope you don't get too messed up.Sometimes we have to fall hard for something to get our attention.

Check out this site it may answer some questions for you:
http://www.spiritualriver.com/start-here-the-creative-theory-of-recovery-explained/

its sooooo boring. but at least not embarrassing...

I do so much more sober than I did drinking. My gawd when drinking I didn't do jackcrap!
Plus my attitude is happier.
You sound discontented.
Lotsa good advice from these fine folks here.
You're doing so well not drinking but.....I think we are all learning and/or already know, that is not enough.

I welcome boring compared to drunkenness. I love to garden, paint & I'm giving mosaic tile creation thing a shot. Think about something you always wanted to do & give it a try! (musical instrument, etc.)

Hi euro, 3 months is such a great effort, well done. When I was at your stage, I was just getting out of rehab and boredom was setting in too. I started off with doing simple things to keep busy, like jigsaws, meeting friends for coffee, reading, gardening and AA meetings.

Then I thought about some of the things I really wanted to do, thought about them, and thought about them some more over the next few years. Never got anywhere until I took some action to do them. There's an old Irish saying "You'll never plough the field if you only turn it over in your mind" or something like that. You mention a few likes in your profile that could give you a few ideas and your vacation might give you a kick start. Have fun euro.
Coogee xxx

There's lots to do all the stuff that you didnt do when you were drinking. I rather have a boring life than the miserable, dull, and crap life i had drinking.