So I have a very serious dilemna here.... The guy I am dating has a drinking problem. He knows, I know it, I'm pretty sure everyone we know knows it; hell, even he calls himself an alcoholic. But it's starting to stress me out emotionally and bring up things from my childhood that I don't want to deal with... It's only been happening steadily, not in huge bursts or anything, but I'm one to keep a close eye on anyone who drinks just to watch for red flags in order to keep myself away from any dangerous situations. He has not abused me, although he did hit my hand away once and it freaked me out just because of what I've experienced in my past and I may have blown it up a bit. (I know, I'm down playing my safety when I shouldn't be.) But there has been a recent incident that just much too close to home and has just completely put me on guard emotionally. We went on a date, bowling, and we drank a little before. (I know, probably not the safest thing to do). But I didn't realize how much he must have been drinking throughout the day, because he ended up getting slammed somehow..... I regret getting into that car with him on the drive back, I could have fucking died when I think about it.... The way he was driving was atrocious and I actually found myself praying that we didn't crash, and one time he almost rear-ended someone. I wasn't fully aware of how drunk he was until we got back to the apartment and we started watching GOT. He ended up falling asleep on my lap, which was totally fine. But then when I moved him to the bed is when it got weird for me... He would wake up randomly and then just mutter gargen. I got him to bed and laid down and tried to sleep myself. Later on in the night he tried waking me up and I still don't know why. He was calling my name and shaking me gently, but I didn't want to answer. I was actually a little bit afraid of what could happen. It reminded me of when my dad would come home drunk and come into our rooms and talk to us. I would pretend to be asleep and pray that he would just go away; I did the same in that instance. I felt so guilty....I still do. I actually watched him and he was sitting up right. (Point: this was later on in the night. He wasn't as drunk.) He had his head hanging and he looked so sad. I couldn't understand what was going on. I wanted to reach out to him and comfort him, but him being tainted with alcohol kept me from doing so.... I felt so pained from past memories and then this moment now, I just couldn't bring myself to do it.... And then he did the saddest thing ever. He grabbed this stuffed animal that I had bought him, and hugged it so tight... A few minutes later he left and went into the basement and drank the rest of the night while playing with his machette... *Sigh* In the morning he appologized for hurting me, and I wanted to say it's okay, but I didn't because that would be excusing the behavior, I can't remember exactly what we talked about because I think my brain just kind of blocked that stuff out lol But he ended up crying and telling me that he needs help, that alcohol centers him. I'm just very skeptic............. My father was an alcoholic and he went to rehab, etc. the whole 9yards, but never got better. I watched him abuse my mother for years and had to endure emotional abuse just from being exposed to it. No one will change their behaviors unless they truly want to. He said he hates himself for hurting me, for ruining our weekend, that he feels guilty, that he loves me; but whether that's enough for him to change I don't know. I don't want to be manipulated into to staying just because someone else won't put up with who you are as a person. I'm actually going to an AA meeting tonight to see how it goes.