Alcoholism Support Group

Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.

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slowly dying

keepitsimple39
keepitsimple39
i feel as if i have told this stupid story so many times and yet here i am still all F---ED up. i have been a drinker since i was 17 years old and i am still going at 39, close to 40 now. that to me seems like a lot of years of slowly killing myself. the last 3 years though have been the worst of my personal life. i lost my kids mother to suicide, and if i was a drunk before, i am 10x worse now. i also after her death lost our kids because i cant handle death and i am a weak weak man. now being depressed from all of this crap has me even smoking more marijuana too. so i have a double addiction now so it costs me more money, i cant afford it yet i still waste my money on it. i sacrifice eating, gas for my truck, bills, etc because i need to get so messed up that i cant feel any emotions. i am sick of dealing with these emotions . i am at my wits end now, i dont want to live anymore. i never thought i would ever want to kill myself and yet i find myself calling the national suicide hotline just to what? stay alive? the only time i ever smile is when i am under the influence and when i am sober i am angry and dont have anything good to say about people. i isolate from the world because people are two faced, liars, thieves, shallow gold diggers, shall i continue? i have no motivation to change because even when i try i fail. i am a complete and utter failure to myself and society, so maybe death would end that? i have been through 2 rehabs in my life and look at me now. i refuse to go to one now because i cant sleep at night and no doctor in my city will prescribe me anything to help me sleep. so i prescribe myself a 12 pack of beer and a bag of weed. i have even told them that and they just dont give a shit. nice society we live in isnt it? honestly i dont even know why i post on these types of forums because i never take any advice, i guess i am doomed for death overall and will never be nothing more then a statistic. o yea please dont tell me i need god because i will just tell you to take a long walk off a short pier. its because of him that i am this way, he let my kids mother kill herself. WHERE ARE MY F***EN MIRACLES?
deleted_user
deleted_user
You can go on to the bitter end blotting out the consciousness of an intolerable situation or you can seek help...What is your choice gonna be ? Are you gonna follow in the footsteps of your kids mother? Come on now! Somebody or something is calling you...
nelliefay
nelliefay
get your arse to the nearest rehab or detox, and stay for the program. There's always hope where there's life, and the world of recovery waits for you.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Whata freakin crybaby. Do you think you're the only one that has had life tradegies.Everyone in this room has had to deal with the consequenses of our actions.The one thing we have in common is that we found no answers in a bottle or allow our dreams to go up in smoke.Personally I found my new life in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous.AA ddnt fix my kidneys or bring my son back from a death from a drunk driver. It didnt solve personal tradgies. What it did do was allow me to develop an understanding that defiesall logic. I survived a heart transplant and my new life afforded me a host of friends that I never had before. A relationship with my God and a serenity that i wouldnt change for the world. Life deals us life tradgeties and all. The tools I recieved as a result of the program of Alcoholics Anonymous wont ever stop life from happening but I can accept what ever comes down the road knowing that this too shall pass.Quit crying over things that you cannot change and step up to the plate and change the things you can.There is a solution.
Greg
okiyoe1
okiyoe1
Yes! keep it simple!:)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3kOWGBDJALY
keepitsimple39
keepitsimple39
i can see that some people here just want to throw insults at me, very good, i totally see why i avoided people like this. so instead of trying to throw a positive message i get verbally trashed by some clown who thinks he is above me? why, because your sober? give me a break, ill stick to my beer and drugs since this ahole wants me too.
deleted_user
deleted_user
This is it - you are not coming back. We have one chance to have a wonderful time on this earth.

No one has it easy - people work hard to appear in control and sane despite terrible losses. Life is not smooth and easy - that is what keeps us on our toes.

Stop focusing on you - get out and look around you. Get in your car and drive to another state - traveling is an adventure. 39 is so young - you have a lot of surprises ahead if you will just stop drinking and get back in the game of life.

Wishing you peace and health.
gr8ful2b
gr8ful2b
You typed this after midnight so you most likely weren't sober. What is it you want to hear from us?

Almost all of us have been where you are. I've been through death, divorce, loss of income. All while sober but like Greg said, I was given the tools to get through it all.

The booze and weed are keeping that tape going in your head. That's PLAY, STOP, REWIND. I know because that was me too.

I was desperate to stop drinking. It was at that point that I became willing to do ANYTHING to get rid of the obsession. That happened when I took my prideful butt to AA. It's never too late kit.

Oh and don't blame an anonymous person on the internet for you continuing to drink. It's your right arm getting you drunk, period.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I can only say that everything always looks negative and hopeless when you're in the midst of drinking or hungover. Get some face-to-face help and a couple of days of sobriety. Your thoughts will begin to clear and you'll be able to make better decisions at that point.
Taradactyl
Taradactyl
Sorry for all the loss. My experience was that this sort of thing advanced my alcoholism and made it seem less attractive to get sober. It seemed like the worse things were, the more I wanted to self destruct and numb out. For me, it really boiled down to taking small steps toward getting better and slowly some desire to get sober developed. In the end for me, though, it was the pain drinking caused me that compelled me to get sober.

Life is not easy sober in the beginning. It sucked that in order to get better, I had to first suffer through a lot of uncomfortable feelings that I hadn't allowed myself to really feel before. The thing that made the biggest difference to me was when a close friend insisted that I HAD to trust that life on the other side of all the pain WAS worth living. I was so sick of myself and feeling like shit that I gave it one last chance. I went through a 60 day rehab program and got past the worst of it there. Then I have committed myself to AA's program which has given me a new life.

You don't need to have a god you resent. You only need to have an open mind that there IS a solution. I have only learned in hindsight after blindly taking suggestions from people I trusted just enough who had good sobriety and who had been through worse experiences than me.

You really do have to TRY to break away from the self loathing - just enough to start taking steps to help yourself. There is no miracle in my experience that got me over that initial "what's the point" attitude... I just had to do some work and hope for reward later. Get some help from people who want to help, and I promise you there are many good people out there. I was resistant to AA for a long time but it turns out, that's where I reluctantly found the answers.

Hang in there. Don't give up. Try something new or try something old differently and with an open mind.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Seems your mind is already made up, why are you here?

You will get plenty of helpful suggestions, I'd say listen and quit yappin'..........of course, I have no room to talk
deleted_user
deleted_user
What Tara said
deleted_user
deleted_user
You been given many good suggestions,but you did state "you dont know why you post ony any type of these forums because you never take any advice" then you say in response to Gregs post "you will stick with your beer and drugs since this ahole wants you too"So sounds like you took his post as advice ,which i saw nowhere on Gregs post to you that he was advicing you to continue drinking and doing drugs.Are you looking for an excuse to feel justified in your mind to continue drinking and doing drugs?I mean this with all due respect,there is hope and I wish the best for you.I struggle with my own things so do most of us,I don't feel any higher above you.I hope you don't give up on life,or yourself.
keepitsimple39
keepitsimple39
o i am sorry that my original post wasnt PC for this website. i thought coming to a place like this was suppose to be helpful to people? has anyone ever seen a person screaming for help but not asking for it? until i can get out of this city i wont be able to progress, being on a fixed income prevents me from doing so.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I can relate to the response Greg gave ya, and was tempted to leave the same type of comment here... reason I decided not to however, is because I can relate to the feeling of your post so well. I was there. And after reading your last reply on here, yes, I remember thinking that the town I lived in was keeping me drunk, and if I could just get to a better town or city, I could still drink but no longer be a drunk, and I couldn't stop being a drunk unless I got a good job in a new town and a perfect girlfriend, etc... then I could drink a beer without needing 15 more. The truth though, is that addiction has got you by the nuts right now, just like it had me by mine. I've also heard numerous accounts of people thinking and feeling the exact same shit, in outpatient counselling group sessions, in the hospital inpatient mental health unit, in rehab, on here, and in AA meetings. That many individuals can't have the same thoughts and feelings unless they're something wrong... Anyhow, tell me to walk off of a peir all you like, but if you want to live through this, you might want to re-evaluate your feelings toward God and your beliefs about Him. Alcoholics Anonymous does not and does not claim to have the answers you need, nor does anyone on this website. Even the medical industry has no solution for our substance abuse problems, and just passes the buck to AA or NA (a service we can get for free without going to rehab or seeing a doctor). And we ourselves definately don't have the answers, or we wouldn't be in the situations we've been in. Yet plenty of folks do get past these low points in their lives and recover. There's only one person or entity that we havn't ruled out, who could be responsible for such healing. My advice would be to forget what you think you know about God, put a little bit of trust in Him, and work on building a new relationship with Him. Then ask Him confidently to help you. Approach Him with faith. You'll be alright
keepitsimple39
keepitsimple39
i will never ask that menace known as god for any help ever, he let sally kill herself and then when i needed him the most i lost my babies too.