Alcoholism Support Group

Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.

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JoeTex 09/27/2008

Ha!!! I knew this topic would get looked at!!
This is a freakishly difficult topic to post. First comes the admission that I have not had sex since I have sobered up. Next comes the admission that I have no idea how to get sex now that I am sober. I know for those of you still with your spouses that this may not be an issue but for some of us it is. I have been legally separated from my stbx for over 18 months. I also know that it is recommended that people stay away from relationships for their first year of sobriety. I also know that that human beings have needs and the ones who say you dont need sex are not the ones haveing to live without it. I am not obsessing about sex, it is something that is truly missing in my life. A partner would be nice but now that I am no longer drinking I dont seem to have the abilily to "go after" interested persons. I get shy or find an excuse or something. I mean damn!!! I am pretty sure I am not gay. There I put it out there. Anyone want to take a stab at it or joke about it.

deleted_user 09/27/2008

Yeah, I took the bait! LOL.

Weeeelll, first, why don't you take your TX state down, and put your picture up instead. You're not a bad lookin guy, and there are some single women here! that you might meet from your area! Might be easier?! Maybe?! We actually have couples here who have met on the internet!

deleted_user 09/27/2008

Put that half naked pic up(o;

JoeTex 09/27/2008

DONE!!!

deleted_user 09/27/2008

Tex,

Have you watched movie "28 days'. I thought the counselor's suggestion was interesting and appropriate about "Try a plant and if you don't kill it than get a pet, take care of pet for awhile than maybe you will be ready for relationship.Theme is we can be extremely selfess and selfcentered and have little to give. It usually is all about us. That old saying "What happens when you sober up a horse thief? You have a sober horse thief...Being single and in early sobriety gives us a great opportunity to work with sponsor and get grounded in this "new way of life" Good luck and remember "this too will past" Peace,
Bill

deleted_user 09/27/2008

Here's my thought: Go to Church! HA Yeah, I know, sex and church doesn't compute, but work with me on this. There are a number of large churches in every city (mega churches). We have one here called The Vineyard that has over 20,000 members and they've branched out to many other cities, but I'm thinking about any large evangelical church. My point is that they have singles groups for all ages. A large church means you'll be dealing with non-drinkers and other divorced singels looking to meet.

It won't equal instant sex (I'm sure you realize that), but it's a starting point. It's just a matter of getting out and meeting others. Whadd'ya think? Am I full of it, or is this a good idea? It beats going to the bars!

JoeTex 09/27/2008

seeing how I have not killed my plants or my pet it is a good suggestion. I do go to a church. The same one for the last 32 years. So does my ex so that option is not on the table.

deleted_user 09/27/2008

go to two churches if you have to. If you go to a large church with a singles group, you can usually come and go without being missed. I think you might need to break out of your present group to meet some other women. Most of the big churches have Saturday and Sunday evening services, in addition to weekday singles groups..

JoeTex 09/27/2008

Point taken. I will look into it.

deleted_user 09/27/2008

I go on free dating sites a lot I have made many friends people that I have never met. If I really like someone I will talk to them at least a month before meeting them in a safe place. You will meet loads of idiots but I met 3 guys that were really nice who I went out with for a while. Right now I dont want to go out with anyone as feel I have to get my drinking under control first.. It also stops you being lonley late at night. Smooch is a good one and free I think its in your country. At least its a way of meeting people. Good luck.

deleted_user 09/27/2008

Whoooot! There Ya Gooo! I like! (oh wait, I have a bf).

Ok, now that's a start!

About the church idea...that's a great idea (and here I am telling him to put up naked pix...lol). The church I used to go to did a singles thing. Only thing is, if you do go out on a date with a girl from that church, and you don't care for her, then what? Leave the church if she keeps comin after you, or if you feel uncomfortable? Idk.

How about ...get your pet and go to a park. There are others who go out 'parking with their pets' and your pets are great conversation startes, and already you have one thing in common.

Or, isn't there something about meeting ppl in the fruit section of a grocery store...or is that the frozen foods or something? Once again...idk!

deleted_user 09/27/2008

Rainbow is right, but that's why I'm saying that you should go to a BIG church for this. In a small church, one date can burn your bridges. In a big church, it'll take a little longer. I have a few friends who have been through this, so that's why I have this idea.

deleted_user 09/27/2008

nothing to make fun of-you are normal in wanting companionship. who doesn't? Dating is quite an emotional rollercoaster at times, so make sure you are secure enough in your sobriety to handle it. I think that internet dating one option, you have to be careful but don't you have to be careful when you meet someone anywhere? I love jackers idea about checking out a different churches (if ex is at the one you attend-no go). There are a lot of single dances at churches I would think, what could it hurt? Also, put the word out to your friends and family that you are in the market. This is a great way to meet available women-especially put let your sisters, friends that are women, etc. know because women like fixing people up moreso then men. Don't be shy! Remember, lots of women are in your same boat. And remember, you dont have to spill all the beans about your life on the first date. Take it slow.

AnneL 09/27/2008

I'm going to state it the way I see it: If you have confidence then that's all that actually matters. Don't be timid, don't apologize, BE YOURSELF. That's sexy enough from my perspective. I don't like men who bob and weave about who they are or where they came from. Give it to me! (as Madonna said and I don't care if some of you don't like her). The most romantic thing a man ever did for me was sing a song to me without really even knowing me..... He was taking me to a rehearsal (yep, actor/singer/opera singer) and he asked if I would mind if he took my hand and sang me a song. OMG.... he then proceeded to sing a song by Sting called 'Mad about You' from 'The Soul Cages'.... sexiest thing someone ever did.No pressure. LOL

deleted_user 09/27/2008

Crash weddings brother, awesome idea.
Just don't stoop to funerals, LMAO.

On a more serious note, I feel ya in the sex dept. Luckily, I had a moment of clarity for 3 years, and I learned I could have sex that was not induced by alcohol. Actually, the steps helped me figure out shit like this.
I do miss the outta-control sex though, it just ain't in me anymore.

JoeTex 09/27/2008

listen everyone, thankyou for you online and offline suggestions. I have a plan. Talked things over with my sponsor and I am going to proceed slowly. Thanks again :)
BTW: I am not the kind of person who asks for help on things so it is greatly appreciated.

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