Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
I have been an alcoholic for about 3 years or so. I've tried AA and it is a huge trigger for me. While I do else darn and get a lot of info from the meetings, I leave wanting to drink. So that isn't a safe place for me at this point.
I've tried therapy, still no help. An "intensive" outpatient treatment program that was a joke. It was designed for court ordered people and nobody was there voluntarily but me.
Just got back yesterday from 5 days inpatient rehab. I wanted to stay. I wanted to get the help and tools that I needed to learn how to make the right choices and stay away from the bottle. After 5 days I was kicked out. Because I wasn't going through any withdrawal, my insurance wouldn't pay for pay for me to stay.
Insurance will, however pay for me to go 5 days to detox as many times as I want. What good does that do?
I want help. I don't want this life. Don't want to drink. I see what this is doing to myself, my teenage kids & hubby. But I am just so simply tired of it all.
I fought and fought to NOT go to rehab but when I finally knew it was time, I went. And I really wanted to stay and do the work. I was in one of the top programs in the country and I had hope that I would get help.
Where this is going is that I came home yesterday after 5 days, and drank last night. I have no clue where to go next or what to do. It's so frustrating and only adds to my anxiety and depression which led me to the out of control drinking.
I have absolutely no friends here. I moved just over a year ago and have not made a single friend other than 2 amazing people I met in rehab. I feel so lost and hopeless right now and have absolutely no idea what to do next.
I've tried therapy, still no help. An "intensive" outpatient treatment program that was a joke. It was designed for court ordered people and nobody was there voluntarily but me.
Just got back yesterday from 5 days inpatient rehab. I wanted to stay. I wanted to get the help and tools that I needed to learn how to make the right choices and stay away from the bottle. After 5 days I was kicked out. Because I wasn't going through any withdrawal, my insurance wouldn't pay for pay for me to stay.
Insurance will, however pay for me to go 5 days to detox as many times as I want. What good does that do?
I want help. I don't want this life. Don't want to drink. I see what this is doing to myself, my teenage kids & hubby. But I am just so simply tired of it all.
I fought and fought to NOT go to rehab but when I finally knew it was time, I went. And I really wanted to stay and do the work. I was in one of the top programs in the country and I had hope that I would get help.
Where this is going is that I came home yesterday after 5 days, and drank last night. I have no clue where to go next or what to do. It's so frustrating and only adds to my anxiety and depression which led me to the out of control drinking.
I have absolutely no friends here. I moved just over a year ago and have not made a single friend other than 2 amazing people I met in rehab. I feel so lost and hopeless right now and have absolutely no idea what to do next.
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Dick Van Dyke’s path to sobriety was a turning point in his life and career. Here’s what happened:How He Got SoberStruggles and Realization: Van Dyke began drinking as a teenager, largely to cope with shyness and social anxiety. Alcohol made him feel more comfortable in social settings, but over time, his drinking spiraled out of control. By his mid-40s, he recognized that he had an addictive...
Even though you feel hopeless right now, there is hope for you and even if you feel lost, you can find your way. It will require a lot of willingness and some big changes on your part but if you have had enough of drinking no obstacle will stop you from getting there.
There are several alternatives to AA, such as SMART, Rational Recovery and Women For Sobriety and maybe one of them would work for you. However, it may be that you have not really tried what AA has to offer. The meetings are a good place to get support from other like-minded people who will not judge you. However, and this is very important, the meetings alone will probably not get you sober. In order to change your thinking so that you no longer want to drink it is necessary to do some work on yourself and you can do that by using the Twelve Step programme with the help of a sponsor.
I do not know why AA seems to be a trigger to you but I suspect it is because the obsession for alcohol is so strong that hearing people talk about it sends you running for the bottle. For you to have not only a sober but a happy life you need to find some means of removing that obsession. It starts with an acceptance that you cannot drink safely and that one drink will lead you to many more. Do you fully accept that you have reached that point? Once you accept the reality that you cannot drink you then need to be prepared to go to any lengths in order to achieve sobriety. Are you willing to go to any lengths? A half-hearted approach will not work.
Detoxing at a treatment centre will help your body to withdraw from alcohol but it does not deal with the mental aspect of alcoholism. Only you can decide what you want to do but if I was in your shoes this would be my course of action: I would go back to AA, not to try it but to make use of everything that AA has to offer. There is hope and you can find your way but you need to follow the directions on the signpost, even when you are not sure that you have taken the right road.
I admit that I am powerless. My life IS unmanageable and I had thought that finally admitting myself to rehab was the step of doing whatever it takes to be sober. I wanted to stay. Didn't want to go. Cried when I was told I had to leave and I KNEW I would not be safe to be home. I still want to go back. It felt safe.
There are no SMART meetings near me. The closes it 2 hours away. I will look at rational recovery and thank you for telling me about women for sobriety. I will look that up as well.
Sadly I life in a small town with not a lot of resources available within a reasonable distance.
I want to be sober. I want to feel better. I want to be happy. I want to for me and my family. I am so frustrated because I really wanted the help that this hospital had to offer and because I wasn't going through any withdrawal, I couldn't stay.
It's a very tough day.
I guess I knew in my mind that the obsession was the problem with AA but read gift really made me realize it. Now that I understand that, how on earth do I remove that obsession.
Not being a religious person, I have a difficult concept with prayer and god. When I went to AA, I used the group as my higher power.
I don't know what path to take or road to follow.
Awful that you couldnt stay in treatment.
I do know many people who went to intensive outpatient through a local hospital/ health system like these: http://www.nca-ba.org/html/out-patient_.html
Also I totally agree with what PJ said. AA meetings were wonderful for me, and I was OK listening to stories as they helped me to realize I was in the right place.
I'd suggest telling another woman at a meeting exactly what you've said here. They will help you.
Don't feel bad. I've been in 10 rehabs and so many detox units I have lost track. I've been kicked out of rehabs before as well.
I don't want this life either. This is a horrible disease. In my opinion, the worst one could have.
I also went to one of the top rated rehabs in the country at one time. After detox, then 28-day program. I came home after 28 days and drank that night! That's wasn't even the first time I did that. With more than half of the rehabs I went to, when I got home I drank again.
AA has also been a trigger for me. But I'm beginning to feel like everything is a trigger for me. Even today, went to the gym and took a class. I was thinking how boring it was and my mind automatically switched to the "get out and get something to drink" mode.
I have decided to do an outpatient substance abuse program (voluntarily). Maybe I just need to be accountable to somebody or something. I'll give it a try.
You are not alone in this fight!
The secret to your future happiness is finding a way to remove that obsession. It does not automatically go away just because you stop drinking and very often willpower is not enough to overcome it. That is why you need to be willing to go to any lengths and to keep an open mind even though at times you may disagree with what is being said.
You admit that you are powerless and that is the starting point on the road to recovery. If the problem is that you are powerless then the solution is to find a power. You are not a religious person and have a difficulty with the concept of prayer and god but that does not have to be a deal breaker. The power that you seek does not come from religion but rather from a spirituality that can be found deep within yourself. Very often we may be cut off from that inner spirit by the things that happen in life. It is by addressing those things that block you off from the spirit that you will find freedom.
Alcoholism is a deadly condition and I have seen the proof of that at the funerals of two young people over recent weeks, one of them being a lady of about your age. Therefore, it is important to have the willingness to do what it takes. If you have a problem with the god idea then choose your own conception of god. The way that I look at it is that my human mind cannot understand that time has no beginning and no end and that which I cannot understand I call God. You do not have to fling the door wide open on the god idea in order to recover through the AA Twelve Steps - all that you need is to push the door open a tiny fraction.
What you are doing by wanting to stay in the rehab is running away from the real problem. Regardless of whether you run to rehab, to another city or even another country, the problem will still follow you until you face it. AA offers you a well thought out and structured programme that enables you to recognise and to overcome those life problems that cut you off from the inner spirit. It is by no means the only solution but it is freely available to anyone who has an honest desire to stop drinking.
Like you, I did not know what path to take or which road to follow. It was pointed out to me that there were only two roads to choose from and the choice became easy. One road led back to drinking and all of the consequences that came with it. The other road led to recovery on a spiritual basis. I needed a guide who had travelled that road before and who knew how to get through the rough spots and that guide came in the form of an AA sponsor.
Now the ball is in your court. Are you ready to go to any lengths to recover from alcoholism and walk to freedom?
1is2many
There was a recent post around here filled with resources. Let me go see if I can find it. Brb
(I'm a bit new here too, there are great resources all around that I've been finding tremendously helpful.)
http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Alcoholism/forum/19440289-recovery-resources
Ok, so at first the list looked overwhelming, like where do I start. But then I just started at the top, clicking, browsing and feeling my way through all of the information. I was able to get a feel for what concepts and beliefs work for me. I started reaching out. For me I choose a SMART meeting to attend and to reach out online to two other organizations. I was received well in all circumstances. While I originally wanted regular meetings near me that I could attend 2x's weekly, that just isn't available from the ones I was interested in. I realize that I do not "need" any prescription and when the women's sobriety group emailed me back, I found tremendous support in the email and was given contact people near me if needed.
So...just keep reaching out and looking until you feel you are getting what you need.
I just read PJ54's reply #6. That has helped me a lot. It is so true what he is saying. I know the post wasn't to me, but it helps me.
Walkingtall, that is something to think about.
I am not going to drink today.
Don't be a stranger OK.