does not sound like a good friend to me? Well done on staying strong! If she's a real mate she should understand how you feel and she shouldn't put you in this situation, it's your choice after all, not hers. If she gets you one, let her waste her money and get a soft one, your the much stronger person for not drinking it! ;) you've done amazing!!

(I understand peer pressure and UK too so find this hard to deal with also, luckily as older decent friends have stayed and understand and will help) x

Sounds like you figured it out. She can't get you to drink -- so tell her no thanks and move on.

If you ever need to, another tactic you can take is to look her in the eye and say very matter of factly and only once:

"Look, I have a medical condition and cannot drink. Not your concern so please stop bothering me about it. End of discussion."

If she presses you, say -- "I am not discussing this." Then immediately change the subject.

Great job on 18 days!

I'm also in the UK hati and so I know about our drinking culture. I have been sober a while and find most people couldn't care less what you are drinking unless they have some problem with alcohol themselves.

If your friend only ever has one drink but encourages you to drink even though she knows you are doing your best not to I would question the term "friend."

Whatever her hang ups are, only she knows but I know for me I had to avoid all drinking situations until I had a solid foundation in sobriety. Maybe I would have not drank had I taken up the pub and party invitations but I was not willing to take the gamble. The true friends will not desert you.

Today I am fine around drinking situations but I needed a lot of help to get that way in the early days. I also know how to make people squirm a bit if they nag me to drink but that very rarely happens :0)

Hello hati,

Well done on being 18 days sober and good luck for the future.

As regards your friend who encourages you to drink, you just need to be firm with her. Remember that nobody but you can get you to lift that drink so block out any unwanted comments from other people.

I have noticed that where I live at least, there is a tendency among some people, and it does not just relate to drinking, to follow the herd. Among some groups in particular there seems to be this silly idea that it is not cool to think for yourself and that you have to follow what other people do, no matter how stupid their antics may be.

By sticking to what you believe in and doing the right things your self-esteem and self-confidence will grow stronger and what other people say or think will not be so important. Maybe your friend has issues of her own and seeing you making a fool of yourself by getting drunk was giving her a cheap lift.

When someone got too pushy with me I asked: "why does it matter so much to you?"

blueviolet -- that's another really good answer

I just say, "oh i have drank for many years, and I decided it was time for me to grow up."

I like Meblonde's reply ,,,, I think as we grow older we do grow up and its ok just t be yourself without alot of booze or drugs in you ,,,you just don;t need or want it

I just ignore the encouragement. It usually comes from someone who doesn't understand alcoholism. I remember when I father quit for 6 months. They went to a dinner that his bowling team had at the end of the season. Mum told him that it's OK to drink at this celebration. He drank for another six months. Mum learned the hard way about alcoholism.

Thankyou so much everyone some really good advice. Im feeling strong enough to cope with this situation now, and no this person isnt a great friend but one in the group. she has lots of issues. xxx

They are not your friends. Friends don't entice you to break sobriety so that they can laugh at you drunk. You deserve better than that.

yes, I believe people who do encourage you don't understand Alcoholism...ditto