Alcoholism Support Group

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resentments

Ashley8888
Ashley8888
I mostly read on here, but I have been stuggling lately with judging others, or just not agreeing with some behavior, of the people I actually used to look up to in the program....and not sure how to hadle it....

ok, so one woman that really got to me...her sponsee is a friend, and she was talling me how she stalled her car on the train tracks earlier in the day, and she was still a little shacky over it (the cops and tow truck had to come)...well her sponsor, came in and heard her talling me and just started cracking up! Thought is was the funniest thing EVER....she had her RETELL the story to someone else and they both started CRACKING up (the other person was my sponsor, that was craking up)...anyways, I did not, and still dont see the humor in this story and to sit there and laugh at her, I thought was VERY RUDE! I do not think they would want someone laughing at them....I am developing a resentment towards this woman! ugh! Is it me though? how do I make this ok, so I dont have a resentment?

And the other person is my sponors, sponsor, who has like 13 years...and I really like her BUT....we were at a fund raiser last weekend and my sponsor was kind of dancing to this song...her sponsor cames up behind her and says, loudly, and other heard her " really, that knee looks bad enough for you to be getting disablity now huh?" (she is on disabliltyfor her knee, and maybe, who are we to judge, souldnt be, BUT) My sponsor stopped dancing and just stood there, like nothing happened...I was in shock! That was the rudest thing I have ever heard!!!! And in front of so many people!! Everytime I think about it, it makes me so mad! I cant believe my sponsor didnt stand up for herself...

I am questioning the whole group of women that I call my support system...not sure if they are the people I want around me!

But am I being too judgemental?
not sure what to do? or how to let go of these resentment...
sorry to be so long...
billwfriend
billwfriend
well ashley pray for these women...gift them with everything that you want for yourself...in prayer...that is what I know to do about resentments
deleted_user
deleted_user
Ashley, one of the gifts of sobriety is being able to laugh again and not take ourselves so seriously. When I get too bothered by other people's actions, I remind myself to mind my own business. It helps me alot. :-)
deleted_user
deleted_user
I think it's a good reminder that we are all human and all of us have flaws. I understand what you're saying.......I go through stages of putting others under the magnifying glass too. But in the end, I've realized that I'm not perfect either, and it's most important that I try to improve my own behavior by being polite and helpful to others. And the others can take care of themselves.
Ashley8888
Ashley8888
thank you all both! I will pray for them both....and I was afraid someone was going to say that Whos2say, lol....maybe I was being bit of a prude...or something like that, lol
I know I need to lighten up, and yes, mind my own buisness :)
deleted_user
deleted_user
Hi Ash

Same issues here mate so your post was timely!

I have a lot of teachers in my life at the moment and it is driving me a little nuts, however, I have realised a lot of it is ME! After drinking for years I became so judgemental and forgot how to have a laugh. In sobriety I am like woah! where did that thought or comment come from! I am like you as I wouldn't pay out on someone like that but different people have different rules as to what is offensive. I have a similar situation at work and yesterday all day I was telling myself pretty much to mind my own business, as the behaviour of one person drives me nuts. I am seeing it as a situation that I can learn from now and that I don't have to be drawn into it all if I don't want to be.

Someone told me once that if you point the finger at someone there are two fingers pointing back at me. These are hard lessons I am learning about at the moment and that life does not have to be so serious as well.

Thanks again for the post and comments! Invaluable- I will give the praying a go as well :)
deleted_user
deleted_user
Ashley No one can tell you how to feel. Feelings are just that feelings. You might be holding other people accountable to your ideals. People are people they say stuff without thinking. Wether we should hold them up to what we believe is right or wrong really is none of our business. Just because people are thoughtless doesn't make them bad it makes them thoughtless.Worth a little slack anyways. Greg
deleted_user
deleted_user
Just work on your program. and keep your side of the street clean. you'll be amazed at who follows.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Those ladies have happiness and peace, they can joke becasuse they are free.
If somebody died or a car got pummeled with a dog inside or something~~~ different story.
I will speak for myself; I used to be a sick son of a bitch that drank anything in front of me, now I am just sick,,(supposed to be a joke)

Point; you will be surprised after a few years of sobriety how crazy things can be behind closed doors, quite amusing and usually clean-cut character assassination, that is F2F.

Can't beat getting your inventory done by an ol' asshole AA purist.
stickywick
stickywick
I agree with the others.
I'm by no means immune from resentments. But I ask myself what am I seeing in others, that bothers me? What is wrong with me that it bothers me?
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