god, i feel your pain. it's a tough situation. once you are labled it's hard to keep a perfect imagine. been there. just be true to yourself and you are going to have to have your girlfiend sit down with them and say ah,,, excuse me but that is my future husband you are talking about. don't fall back

sweetheart,
find someone who will love you "as is."i suffer from alcoholism (sober now),depression, crippling anxiety, post traumatic stress disorder, and i use to have an eating disorder. i have a wealth of friends who do not see me as "damaged goods" but as a child of God who is not only worthwhile but valuable to this ole world. we all have something. i have as of yet met the perfect human being. good luck and hold that head up. devonh

I'm sorry to hear about the predicament that you are in. I would give it some more time. If she truely loves you she will come around. Peer and family pressure is a powerful thing. But maybe time will take care of this one. However like you already know you have to be with someone who is 100% onboard with you. You cannot stay sobber alone it take a team, And your partner should be the co-captain. Best of luck. Peace....Jeff

how about the both of you attending an aa meeting and then an alanon meeting? God bless you on your sobriety, i don't know you and i'm very proud of you. one day at a time.

im in a weird predicament thats very close to yours. his family hates me, we ended it a few months back, but i was drunk the whole time i was with him. and now ive been sober for months, and ill never go back....i know i wont. my parents were alcoholics, and i know what it does to me. this guy though, he doesnt trust me and ive worked my ass off to earn my self respect back. a wise old lady said to me that i shouldnt feel like i have to prove myself to anyone. if they cant trust and love me, thats their loss......unfortunately, its my loss to (or thats how it feels) and i just want so much to be loved again. this is part of what we have to go through. it will make me stronger, she says to herself over and over again day and night.....if they lady wants time, and you know you both love each other....dont go to ehr asking for her acceptance.....she loves you....she just needs time. what is meant to be WILL be. this is how love works. love is patient, love will endure. sobriety is a virtuous pillar you climb everyday that people who have never endured will never appreciate the strength it shows you contain. never underestimate what you can accomplish. have faith in yourself, in her, and in the love you share. if you place all your faith in her love for you and your capacity to treat yourself with the overdue esteem every living creature deserves, nothing will get in teh way of your life together. dont let the frustrations of today ruin what could possibly be your reason for being alive. easy to say, but more aggravating at times than a fly that never dies. just remember......all flies die.

Hi just my exp but what her family voiced as thier fears can be a possibilty with alcoholics. In my exp I met my now wife while drunk and not even me new I was alcoholic. I got sober not long afterwards and we got married. I stayed sober for 2 1/2 yrs I did my own version of the 12 steps and ended up drunk. By that time we had kids and the wife was trapped in my insanity. So what your wifes family fears may happen. There is always that possibility one will not do the deal and end up drunk. I did get sober again stayed the next time for 4 1/2 yrs did some of the steps had great sponsorship but still had doubts as to wether I was alcoholic or just a drug addict. Well about 5yrs sober I drank again. This time I was in and out of a blackout for 18 months. Been back in AA convinced this time that i am a real alcoholic. My family has stayed the whole time we have 4 wonderful kids. I put my wife and kids thru hell both drunk and sober but today my relationship is good and continues to get better. I wont tell you what to do on this like some others have. What you do is between you and God. The only thing I have to ask is do you have a sponsor and where are you at in the steps. Thru sponsoring others I have grown in life not just AA life but life in general. Sponsorship is where we grown in effectivness and understanding. Just my 2 cents and my exp I wish you well.
God bless
Dave

Hi again
I forgot to add from your 4th step, if you did one, you should have a new sex ideal from page 69 in the big book. If you have that then the real question is are you living up to the new sex ideal. I have met alot of alcohlics who didnt do the new sex ideal while doing the 4th step. I was 2 1/2 sober this time in 2004 when thru pain i was driven to do another 4th step I came out of that with a new sex ideal that i would have to live up to with gods help. It changed the part of my life on how I treat ppl that im in a relationship with. It has helped immensly. Sorry i forgot to include that.

Thanx every1 for your replies my heads very mixed up at the mo jus hope the higher power knows what hes at cuz i have not a clue. just in the house all day with the curtians shut hoping it will all go away. going to a meeting later. thanx again every1

Hey- You know the unfortunate thing is that your girlfriends family is trying to protect her & are seemingly ignorant of the disease. i hope you can get her and them to ALANON. 3 years sober is awesome! Besides you cannot guarantee that you won't have alcoholic kids if you weren't an alcoholic! lol You also can't guarantee you won't get hit by a bus! There are no guarantees, but your odds improve with working the program. i wish you all the best. Big Hugs! xoxo