Not right away....She was holding on to alot of resentments from my drinking and druggin days and wasn't ready to let go of them. About 4 years after I went through outpatient treatment, she divorced me. We stayed friends throughout and we get along better now, then we did when we were married, so getting divorced was more of a blessing then a curse. My AA sponsor always told me that good things come out of bad situations although you might not see it at the time, After divorce, I lived alone for over 3 years and in that time, I went through immense spiritual and emotional growth. It was something I really needed. Now we live together again but with totally different perspectives. Life is good!

my relationship changed quite a bit. Congrats on 6 months! I remember that being the; 'shits getting real' time in my recovery. Seriously though, that's what it felt like after years of being a bit stuck in a rut. When I quit it opened the idea that I COULD do healthy things for myself. For me, stopping with the alcohol was just the tip of the iceberg. There was so much below the surface that I hadn't been aware of. I'm not involved in AA but I have read things from members that resonate. Rigorous Honesty really says it all. When we get brave enough to admit that drinking had become a problem and stop, it makes us braver to look a little more in depth at other aspects in our behavior. This has been my experience and I imagine it's similar for others. So, looking closer at my marriage in the light of sober clarity I realized that we had been going through the motions and lost a spark. It happens because it takes a love of life to keep things fresh. The haze of drinking doesn't allow that intimate love of life. That has to be earned with practice of learning to love ourselves. Honestly, that first year I had to focus on myself to build that relationship. Then I had enough grounded energy to give my SO.

Thanks. I’m just trying and feel lost. Our intimacy is a huge struggle. It’s forced , I’m at 7 months sober I’ll give it a year You gave me hope. First things is to be honest. Thanks again

Well there are a couple of things to consider.

First does your spouse drink to excess
If so... then he is upset that his drinking partner is gone..
If not... then weirdly the spouse feels the control is lost and YOu are now more in control of you.

Also I would consider the whole picture.

When I quit my wife was so worried I would relapse. I guess she still is after 12 years...

The main thing is to just live a better life And make what I call living amends. Don’t apologize, just live better and move on.

Ps in the intamite role. Booze was a costume that we wore... relax and just go with it. Don’t be so self critical. Chill out. ⛄️

Relationships are in constant change, I am 80 yrs. old. My wife is losing it,
Do I kick her out? Hell no! I accept her as she is. My love is aways there, I cannot change her medical condition, but I can change myself to deal it with compassion.