What were you dong to stay sober? For me the thing was that I HAD to have a pressure releif valve and for so long that was booze. I am an alcoholic and i drank. Lots. until the morning i just had had enough and looked up a meeting for aa. It saved my life. I was not able to quit on my own and found a room that people who would help me and wanted to help me. I was a loner and continued to isolate and be alone. But something happened by going to a daily meeting. I was able to learn what and why. 2 things i liked the way alchol made me forget all the problems, but I couldnt stop once I started. and the other is that when I was not drinking I was thinking about drinking.. The booze was running and ruining my life. I found a solution in the rooms. I wish you the best and know that there are people that want to help you get sober, you just have to seek the help.

PS there are many other programs ... books etc. the only wrong choice is no choice. See we get frozen in fear. fear to live , fear to not drink , fear is my worst enemy. make a choice and get the wheels in motion. get into action

1is2many

Thank you... I thought I could do it on my own. I'm so afraid of looking at people and saying I am an alcoholic... I'm also afraid of who will be there. Is that stupid? Who am I to judge... I can't stand the thought of others judging me though..

I relapsed after 24 ears of sobriety. The past is the past. It cannot be undone. Live for today and enjoy you new sobriety.

I relapsed on Day 5 (Saturday). I felt horrible. But I spent the next day glued to DS, and all the support gave me new hope.

Things that helped me yesterday:
Remember how you felt that night you were drinking - did that vodka make you feel more joy and satisfaction than you felt when you were sober? Was it the answer to all your troubles? Were you in control of your life at that point? (for me the answers were no, no and no)

Remember how you feel the morning after - are you happier and more satisfied this morning than mornings you woke up after a sober day? (rhetorical question, we know the answer is always no)

Sunday morning I burned that into my brain and I keep reminding myself that it really isn't worth it. I'm only on Day 2 (again), but I learned from my relapse, and I think it will help me make a better choice next time. Don't beat yourself up over it, try to learn from it.

~Lisa

The first think I had to do when I got out of a treatment program, was to get rid of my drinking buddies! Their only purpose was was to drag me down along with them. I did not need them. They were a trigger, I could do without!

Before I went into an outpatient treatment program, I tried hundreds of times to quit on my own and I failed miserably every time! I couldn't understand why I had such self destructive tendencies but I learned when I was in treatment.

It was scary going through detox and treament because I didn't know what to expect and the same for my first AA meeting but forcing myself to go was a decision I didn't regret. I was treated for some things which I didn't even know I had! These were issues which predisposed me to addiction.

I can't tell you what to do. I can only suggest you try something different if you keep relapsing and don't know why. If you have family that care about you, think how devastated they would be if alcohol took your life! When my mother died at 52, I was just a kid and the guilt I suffered turned me into a drug addict and alcoholic, 30 years later. I almost died.

8 years ago, while in treatment I was introduced to AA and I still attend occasional meetings today. I live my life by the 12 steps and I have never been happier.

God Bless!

Drink a lot of water today. You have a clean slate. Get back up. Never give up! Hugs

Lemon, you don't need to look at anyone and say "I'm an alcoholic". You don't need to take on any label that you don't feel comfortable with. You obviously think you have a problem with using alcohol, and therefore you do. IMO, everyone who drinks has a problem with alcohol. Alcohol is simply not a good substance to ingest, for a variety of very clear and proven reasons. Stop using it and begin building a new natural and sober life for yourself. Look at it as a challenge and make it your new obsession. Your new life will be a better life. Come join us in our world of sobriety.

I had a major slip on Sat too. I spent the day in bed yesterday or throwing up. It was really pathetic. Why did this happen to me? Someone offered me a drink. I took it. I really can't have just one drink. I know this. I knew it on Sat and took it anyway. I am feeling pretty crappy about it. But all I can do today is move on. Refocus on staying sober. Clean slate today.

Thank you all for your thoughtful comments. I've been so paralyzed by fear of doing anything... I have this idea of AA being too religious for me. And I can't say hi, I'm [my name], and I'm an alcoholic. It's terrifying for me. I want to get better and stop living in fear...

And Magpie that's exactly what happened to me. I had abstained and then was around it... And one is never the end for me either. It always spirals out of control.

I couldn't learn what I didn't know. Make a choice, even if it's not the perfect / best choice it's better that no choice
And it actually helps me to say I'm an alcoholic. I can get to live sober today if I get that fact out of the way.
1-2

Hi there -- First, thanks for reaching out to the our world here. It's OK to feel terrible for a minute but then you have to MOVE. I resisted AA for a loooooong time as I felt a number of aversions to it:
1. I wasn't "like them." I hadn't crashed my car, got a DUI, lost my job or my marriage, fell down drunk in front of my family, etc. etc. I "was better" than that. I finally admitted that I was headed for all of that and maybe worse if I didn't stop. My live was unmanageable due to alcohol.
2. It was "too religious" The reality: I have went to 4 different chapter meetings and while there is a spiritual component to it, it is essentially tapping into "your own higher power" whatever that may be to you. I have grown away from my own Protestant faith but I still believe in a higher power, including the higher power that is present inside those AA meetings. That REALLY is a higher power at work.
My cheap advice? Go to an AA meeting TODAY and try two or three different meetings if you don't like the vibe at the first one. That set me on a course that is really helping me. I am only 19 days sober, but I have never gone further than 14 days in my entire life on my own.
Keep coming back and just take the next step and do the next right thing. Much love, PG

.. and to echo 1is2many's comment above: I have felt that saying I am an alcoholic has done two things for me.
1. It has given me power over that word, not the word having power over me.
2. It has helped my mental shift to accept that this is part of who I am. It is not my entire being, but it is a part of me that needs to be dealt with on a daily basis for the rest of my life.
3. The more people close to me that I can admit that to, the stronger will be my sobriety as I do not want to let those people down either if I relapse. I look at it as building up my accountability bank.
We are all here for you!!

AA could be a good place for you to meet other people struggling and learn how they cope, but make no mistake about it, if you take on the label "alcoholic" based on the definition that AA uses, you are assuming the perspective of someone who believes you have no control over your drinking. If that is how you truly feel, then maybe a prescribed path like the AA 12 Steps is your best route to recovery. It certainly cannot hurt to attend a meeting and see what happens. I did attend a couple times and I enjoyed hearing the stories. I just could not sign on to their basic premise. That choice is always yours.

So true. I am an alcoholic. I am so moved by all of you for embracing me for the way I am... A way I don't want to be anymore. Thank you.