Alcoholism Support Group

Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.

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darkhairedgirl1 07/10/2009

I just relapsed yesterday after conflict in my homegroup where my sponsor personally felt responsible to meddle in my drama and cause me to be left without support. I have a sick feeling in my stomach at the thought of going there but it's the only place around with the most meetings and that I had always felt so comfortable at. I think I've grown too dependent on the rooms...on the fellowship...on having a place to go to everyday. I diluted and distracted myself from program by getting caught up in new and exciting relationships with other people. Until, inevitably as alcoholics, we find some way to infuse our sickness into it. I haven't spent a lot of time with people with long-term and/or good sobriety. I seem to be drawn to early sobriety people like myself. People who are as vulnerable as I am. I cannot afford to have my recovery jeopardized by a self-centered alcoholic, and I can't afford to be that alcoholic to anyone else. I'm left again with no sponsor, more animosity towards really sick people, and feeling isolated and alone. I don't know how to remedy this or even reconcile it in my own mind so I can accept it and get my ass back in a chair where it belongs. I don't want to go back to old behavior out of hopelessness and a lack of belief that I have any other options. Any advice?

deleted_user 07/10/2009

I was told a long time ago to never rely on humans because humans are human and we all screw up and let people down.
My suggestion if you have the ability to get to any different meetings do so. Then being the intelligent person I know you are figure out who the long term winners are get to know them spend time with them and ask them lots of questions.

You can do this People will almost always at some point let you down, but when you find the true higher power in your life it will never fail you though sometimes it takes time for that to be apparent.

deleted_user 07/10/2009

You answered your own question. Quit hanging around people you feel comfy with. Find the ones with quality sobriety and get what they have. This young lady here did the same thing and she and her newbie friends got caught up in supposed drama and went back out. 1 is going back to prison, 1 is going in for longterm rehab and the last is out on the streets again. Take care of you.

deleted_user 07/10/2009

We can't let situations, environments, disappointments, or anything else for that matter become a catalyst for us to use. I truly began to put serious clean-time together when I began to listen to my disease and learn when it was thinking and speaking to me as opposed to when my sensical self was speaking to me. I found that when I wanted a drink due to negative consequences it was because my disease was conveying to me that this was the only way to adjust. I began to notice this and began to counter what I felt was my addiction speaking to me, thereby reacting in ways that were more conducive to recovery. And remember: "There is nothing that bad that a drink won't make worse."

deleted_user 07/10/2009

Perhaps bear in mind that people, meetings, sponsor and the fellowship are not what keep you sober when you bring this whole deal down to basics. They all form part of, but they are not the deal.

Have you written a step 4 yet, just out of interest.

deleted_user 07/10/2009

Another meeting maker doesn't make it. I'm sorry to hear what happened, Its good for me as it reinforces my belief in the program of AA and not the fellowship of AA.

I can only suggest (apparently) but In my opinion (and thats all it is)You need to do the program, we as alcoholics cannot get by on fellowship.

Please get a sponsor who has done the program whether you like them or not and get doing the steps. Your doing what I spent years in AA doing.

You now realise that you cant stop for one day at a time or keep it simple, think think think or any of that crap. You need to put the action in and do the steps as they are written down in the BB!
Please dont do what I did and hang with the watered down crowd there all very sick people. Your an alcoholic and your family and friends couldn't get you sober so a group of ex or current drunks aren't going to either, You need a Higher power and to get that you need to do the program.

Sorry if it seems I'm lecturing you I just hate seeing someone in this position. I was in it myself and know the pain your going through.

deleted_user 07/10/2009

my advice is stick around this DS support site, and you wont feel so alone, it does take a long while sometimes to get a sponser in AA, i think you need more resourses to help you stay stopped once you have stopped, recovery chat is good too.
dont give up meetings,
but if there are any ! stick to talking to long term sober people, to help you, they have done it lot longer than you!!
AA is not a good place to make friends.

deleted_user 07/10/2009

Hi Alice, I'm a little bit curious why you say that AA is NOT a good place to make friends? In a group the other day they were saying how "they" felt they had to abandon their drinking friends and they eventually made new and lasting friendships with AA members. In my women's group I get the feeling many are very close friends. I haven't a clue if I will become friends with any (including my sponsor) but I would think meeting someone at AA would not preclude friendship.

deleted_user 07/10/2009

Hey DHG, you sound like me at the end of last year. Huw's annoying little questions such as the one posed in reply # 4 everytime I posted something such as this, helped to kick my butt into high gear! (sorry Huw hee hee).

I figured if everytime I posted a thread like this he (and others) would ask what step I'm on then there must be a good reason! They were right...

I found that having a sponsor & working the steps are what have helped me to "get it" and stop relapsing after very brief periods of time.

Like has been said, your sponsor doesn't keep you sober.

I blamed everything from my job to not having "the right" sponsor, to my friends & even a flat tire for my relapses. I had to do as is suggested, sponsor & steps.....not "just" meetings. Take the whole package....it's so worth the effort.

deleted_user 07/10/2009

Another thought-you are quite introspective in seening that "where ever you go there you-and your alcoholism, are." You can go through the motions of any treatment and if you are still "sick" it will take hold (booze) eventually. My advice would be to surrender. Surrender yourself to the fact that you are an alcoholic and that you need help. Surrender that this is out of your control and you have no freakin clue. Then proceed ahead-with your white flag in hand, determined to be sober, but open and humble to the whisperings inside you telling you what you need to do to get healthy. The answers will come, I promise.

darkhairedgirl1 07/10/2009

Thank you very, very much. I'm not even halfway through my 4th yet. I hooked up with a sponsor today who was actually a fellow student of mine (we just graduated together this year) who has 21 yrs sober. She goes to meetings but I never see her in the mix of b.s. She believes her job is to work me through the steps...not solve my life problems...I'm giving it a shot but I'm going to take a break from my homegroup for a little bit til I can walk in there without wanting to throw a chair (or go out an use). 'Preciate all the support guys.

deleted_user 07/10/2009

Atta girl,focus on clearing the way to a higher power and the alcohol problem will take care of itself.

deleted_user 07/10/2009

i make this comment with no malice.........i have only one sponsor.....you all know Him........i was sober for 16 days and fell......no drama....no stress.....no lies.

it is what it is......i feel over coming is like splitting a cord of wood with a feather. but the "overcoming" is purely physical.........i am torn between spiritual truth and the physical..........

i fall into the hug of truth of nature....i am guided by heart..........often called a "puss"........LMAO truth is truth...........one can deny it for a life time.........just keep in mind, eternity last's longer.

a fortune cookie thought........be a simple man...................i'm sure many can hum the song.

peace, nods and whispers always................lew

deleted_user 07/10/2009

Oh Lew-I am so sorry to hear this. And I dont want to hi-jack this thread, but your explanation for your relapse sounds like pure 100% prime grade bullshit!

Come on Lew, get back, get back!

deleted_user 07/10/2009

bullshit? thank you very much.......
i have never been ignorant enough to step into anyone''s shoes.

i am glad you have found truth.

deleted_user 07/10/2009

I have not found total truth, but Lew it does not lie in a bottle for anyone, I know that is truth. And your drinking again is bullshit.

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