Dear akacountry,
You are not going to like my answer but it is the truth not matter how unpleasant it may be.
You have to look deep inside yourself and get your soul prepared to FIGHT! Do not kid yourself, this is a fight for your very life and no, I am not being overly dramatic, just real.
Re visit all the reasons you want to quit and then steel yourself against the craving, Do not let your husbands bad behavior dictate whether you stay sober or not.... Eric

You don't have to start over again, just pick up where you left off.
If you're climbing a mountain and you lose your footing and slide down the mountain a few feet, you don't return to the foot of the mountain.

Think of recovery as a process and the best of luck of luck to you.
I've never had to deal with a drinking spouse or partner but I'm sure it doesn't make your life any easier. That being said others have been in similar situations and have overcome. You can too.

Thanks to everyone who replied. I have been to a meeting everyday this past week. Where I didn't really find support in A.A. before, that has all changed. I learned that people truly care about me and will help anyway they can.
I have learned a lot this past week. I am feeling stronger and my husband did agree to stop the drinking around me.

The number one thing learned this week is....my sobriety has to come first and foremost before any other person, place or thing.

My doubts have been answered and I am back on the road to recovery. I thank God for A.A. and all the people who make those meetings happen. I'd be lost without them.

This disease had me believing that I could drink again like normal folks. Once again. I Was Wrong.

Well know that I want you to get better and enjoy life again.

And another thing, you did do something to help me today by reminding me how bad it is in the grips of alcohol.

It is like Rat Poison to me. F&c# that s#i!.

No matter what , dont drink today!!!

1is2

Aka, I admire the fact you got straight back on track, that takes courage and commitment and your experience will no doubt be helpful to someone else along the way who goes through something similar.

Sorry to hear that things went sideways there, aka. But glad you reached out here, and out there in the meetings. I don't want to beat a dead horse (but will), but your husband's drinking doesn't "make" you drink. It's a distraction, and that's something to be discussed with him, or have either the booze or you put away safely. My wife too drinks, even keeps wine in the house - doesn't bother me. But early on that couldn't happen.

Like gr8ful2b said, when you're done, you're done. I was done. Countless times I *thought* I was done...but I wasn't. Only you know the real truth, your truth.

I am very glad to see you back on the road to recovery. :)

Hi,well l'm glad to hear your back at not drinking,l quit almost 6 months ago,lt sometimes is a bit hard,l don't go to AA,l didnt like it,but if l need it ld go,so far me and my sister quit together,being a triplet makes it easier,were identical,live 8 hrs away from each other,besides the point,alcohol is a poison and it's marketed to look great,just like smoking was,soon it will catch on how dangerous it is for people,most get stuck in the alcohol rutt,well our body loves not drinking,get way mode nutrients going to proper body parts,anyway not drinking will probably save your life,lts a silent killer,soon it creeps in and before yo know it ,you drink almost everyday,what a waste of life,since l quit drinking,l'm leaving my job anc persuing my job l want that makes me happy,l'm 48, been doing my job for16 yrs,but l want happiness,maybe not as much money but way more flexible ,less strenuous on my body,we can move forward and get positive,all my compliments l get since l quit drinking,how great l look is good to,so please keep the poison in the cupboard and look at the health benefits/joy life has in little things,how much more you want to do things besides recoup,all the best to you,keep on keeping on,lt's only a thought a d a thought can be changed!!!

I am sorry that you have relapsed, I know how hard that is to get sober again but it is possible! ;-)
If you have been to meetings and did some Step work you should be able to distinguish the difference between physical craving and the mental obsession. Please get a sponsor and work the Steps all the way through, you will then find that the obsession lifts and it is possible to remain sober for good.

It is sad that your husband is unsupportive but please believe me that it is possible to stay sober in spite of that.
Please feel free to pm me if you think I can help.

Lyn