What did you do before to quit? Reestablish your routine and be strict about it. You never have to feel this guilt ever again....I hate feeling guilty and sick! Alcohol serves no purpose in our lives anymore and remember that. Get out and exercise with your dogs! Don't let alcohol take anymore time and happiness away anymore as life is so sweet. Hugs, nikki

Tell your hubs to knock it off!!!

Sorry this happened but I can share with you that I have been through similar in my earlier sobriety and this is an example of how time not drinking matters very little in the bigger picture - i.e. the rest of your life.

My quality of sobriety had something missing and it all pointed back to Step 1. At that stage I had got half way through the Steps but I had a while sober and attended loads of meetings. Something in the back of my mind was not quite convinced that I had become powerless over alcohol - or I would not have picked up that first drink. Not only that but I had not been putting much effort into the journey. Add a few things together and it was no surprise I drank again.

I think you know already that Step 1 is the way to go, I'm pretty sure you mentioned it to someone else in another discussion.

Our experience is a teacher in good times and bad. Learning from it is very valuable, not only to ourselves it in trying to help others. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and carry on.

i had a girlfriend that drank. after my divorce we were together about a year. i had been sober 5-6yrs. i didnt mind having the booze around. then it became apparent the booze was more important than me. i ended it. she still texts me. i care about her but i dont like her behavior when she drinks. it didnt bother me so much when she was around but on the phone in her texts i could tell that she was drinking. she got more annoying as she got drunker. then she didnt remember the shit she said to me the next day. i would b upset to if i had been sober for a yr and drank, but the important thing is to stop. again

About your husband, I know it's hard but it is possible to get sober when living amongst "normal" drinkers. For me it meant being quick and thorough through the Steps the next time round so I could be in that safe and protected place where the obsession to drink was removed.

Any lengths means any lengths, if he is alcoholic or drinking that way, remove yourself to somewhere safer until you are okay being around him and is bottles. Sometimes big action is required.

i believe that like they say "one day at a time". the amount of sobriety i have is not the most important thing. its the quality of my sobriety. and thats a day to day thing. when youve had that "im the luckiest boy in the world feeling" or "this was the best day (week, month, year) of my life feeling". u always know that u can get that back. i may not b easy but u know u can. i think that is what i work for. more good days than bad.

i dont think your husband is showing u much love. and this is when u need his love the most. is he jealous that u dont drink. does he drink too much? and as a guy i can assure u that its possible he is just careless. but if he cant LEARN to put his bottle away? imo he drinks too much

You will ALWAYS be surrounded by alcohol, it is everywhere.
On TV, in the store, at a resturaunt, so you just have to be strong.
There are many couples in the world where one drinks and the other one doesn't.
You said you hate yourself right now, so the more you drink, the more you hate yourself (we don't want that now, do we)? One big reason why I don't drink anymore is because when I do, I feel guilty and I don't like to feel like that.
You said you quit for a year before, so I suggest you do what you did before.

if he is a normal, social drinker he should b considerate of someone who is not

No point in taking another's inventory, I may be wrong or not fully in possession of all the facts, so that's why I need God along with my altered attitudes and a good deal of action. That way change can really come about!

When I went into AA, I was DONE. Alcohol was poison. Don't play the blame game with hubby. When you're done, you'll know it just like before.

like abshoe said, we are surrounded by alcohol. If his drinking is effecting you that much (and it would have me too, in the beginning), and he refuses to at least keep the booze bottle in a cabinet or something, remove yourself. As you know aka, alcoholism must be treated. It's all up to you.

PS I'm saddened by your relapse but when you're ready, you know what to do.

I'm so sorry.
So now, go to a meeting. Then go to another, and another. And don't drink between meetings. Sounds simple? It is, its just not easy.
I got sober with a husband who drinks socially. I know now that no one made me drink, nothing makes me drink. I drank because I'm alcoholic. I drank because I liked the way it made me feel. I drank until I couldnt *not* drink anymore. I too tried to quit many times. Until I surrendered completely to the fact that I'm alcoholic, and I can't drink no matter what, I couldnt stop and stay stopped.

So my only suggestion is don't beat yourself, or your husband, up. You drank because you are alcoholic and you werent doing the things you need to do to keep away from that first drink. You can use AA, or something else, or nothing. But until you come to terms with the fact that this is an inside job, and we don't drink or stay sober for others, you might find it pretty hard to stay stopped.

The hardest part isn't that your husband drinks. The hardest part is you making the decision that you are not going to drink. Deciding you are DONE.

My husband drinks. We have alcohol in the house. Doesn't mean I have to drink. Neither do you.

If you really think about the craving -- get inside of it so you can get through it -- I think you will realize it has nothing to do with your husband drinking or alcohol in the house.

You do not have to drink. Now is a good time to stop.

I stopped drinking in a house full of drunks, drinking around the clock. I went to my room and closed the door found this place and stuck to my guns. I was in a remote place of 600 people, no meetings, EVERYONE drank themselves stupid around me. I wanted something better for myself than to be a slobbering drunk like I saw all day long. When I had enough of it, I moved out.
I guess you get to a place where you ask the God of your understanding for help to take the craving away and hope he hears the earnestness in your plea :)
Today I am a happy sober person, life is good and gets more interesting every day.
You are not alone.

Do you have a sponsor? If so, have they gone over the steps with you?

I also was surrounded at times with heavy drinkers... I removed myself from the situation when I could, if it began to bother me. Eventually, I left altogether. That doesn't mean you have to... many have partners who drink

My partner was sober for some time... but went back to drinking and drugging became a complete idiot... I had to leave for my sanity and my children. I never drank, but I fell into the enabling codependent caretaker Ended up in a crisis shelter, and was in a transitional living facility for several months. I wasn't enjoying my sobriety... I was living in soDRYety.... and other grave emotional and mental disorders reared their heads...

I'm on the recovery path again, one day at a time. I haven't had a drink in 14 years. I'm relatively stable.

Others here are spot on when they say it can be done. If your husband doesn't drink alcoholically, it may be easier. Ultimately, the choice is our own whether we drunk or not. Alcohol is everywhere. We come to a point where it can't overwhelm us when we work the program of recovery. Sometimes a relapse can kick us upwards, rather than down... it depends on ourselves, really.

You did it before... how? What worked?

I hope you can resolve the issues... I wish the best for you..