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I know I have not been on here in awhile and I posted it in health relationships...but I know some of you here and thought maybe I could get some advise....sorry its so long...
Okay, so I will try to keep this short...I started talking to an ex boyfriend...We dated when I was like 22 or 23(I am 30 now), dated for about 6 months and I truly did love him but things just didnt work out...I was to blame I was young and stupid, I guess....anyways he was really good looking then....and when he found me on Myspace he was really good looking in his pictures too....I was soooo excited we talked and texted for about two weeks and I had such high hopes for "us" again.
But he kept putting off meeting me because he was busy....no big deal he reassured me it was not rejection....so, over this time I think I started to fall for him again...he is so funny and a wonderful guy....
Well when we finally meet a few days ago he was extremely over wieght...I am not shallow, I am not but you have to be attracted to some one right??? And I mean I am, but I DO NOT know how to handle this...I cried for a full day....I can not be mean, and it broke my heart too....I do not know what to do....I am pretty active and I don't know if he would fit into my life....
Please do not judge me, I did not judge him....I am still leading him on, A LOT, I do not know how or what to do...PLEASE HELP....
What would you do?
Posted on 04/23/09, 04:04 pm
Okay, so I will try to keep this short...I started talking to an ex boyfriend...We dated when I was like 22 or 23(I am 30 now), dated for about 6 months and I truly did love him but things just didnt work out...I was to blame I was young and stupid, I guess....anyways he was really good looking then....and when he found me on Myspace he was really good looking in his pictures too....I was soooo excited we talked and texted for about two weeks and I had such high hopes for "us" again.
But he kept putting off meeting me because he was busy....no big deal he reassured me it was not rejection....so, over this time I think I started to fall for him again...he is so funny and a wonderful guy....
Well when we finally meet a few days ago he was extremely over wieght...I am not shallow, I am not but you have to be attracted to some one right??? And I mean I am, but I DO NOT know how to handle this...I cried for a full day....I can not be mean, and it broke my heart too....I do not know what to do....I am pretty active and I don't know if he would fit into my life....
Please do not judge me, I did not judge him....I am still leading him on, A LOT, I do not know how or what to do...PLEASE HELP....
What would you do?
Posted on 04/23/09, 04:04 pm
Maybe he put off meeting you because he was feeling the same way about you and was scared that once you saw him that you would come to a screeching halt with your affection.
I am not an ogre, nor am I "morbidly obese" so my thoughts are not from experience but from my heart.
Has no one seen "Beauty and the Beast" or "Phantom of the Opera"? Can true love not surpass outward beauty?? Seriously, am I the only one who sees this this way? I just think it's sad.....unless I am misreading your post, it sounds like you're saying that you have changed your mind solely because of his weight. If that is the case, then I don't think you were "falling for him" again at all because if you were, his weight would not matter.
I have a friend who was born with a disease that made him look like he was in his 60's when he was 17 years old, he is not very attractive at all, but he has the biggest heart of anyone I've ever met in my entire life and THAT'S what makes him appealing!
I know I'm probably going to get blasted for this, but I don't care....you should all be ashamed of yourself. I'm sorry for stating my opinion because obviously I'm in the minority.
As far as his lying by omitting the fact that he's large goes and delaying the meeting, maybe he's been crapped on for years because of his weight and wanted the fantasy with a beautiful woman who seemed to genuinely care about him as a human being to drag out as long as possible because he knew what would happen once they met. I feel bad for the guy honestly and I'm sorry Ashley because I do love you.
What IF you were in love with someone and they were in a horrible accident and they were burned and disfigured & covered in scars? Would you stop loving them because you were no longer physically attracted to them? I'm sorry, I just don't understand this at all....