have you read Bill's story and To the Agnostic in the Big Book? I'd start there. Also the first three steps were explained to me like this "I can't, He can, I think I'll let him." easy enough. first 164 pages are a life saver. Also Hazledon books has some great booklets that go along with every step. Some Blue bloods turn up their nose and say "it's got to be done OUT OF THE BOOK ONLY---JUST LIKE BILL AND BOB! I would submit and remind those naysayers that the steps were done very differently at different stages of the program's growth and also rest assured that these Hazledon booklets have been approved by some big names in AA---headquarters has never said anything negative about them either,\. go give em a look---hey what do you have to lose except another terrifying binge. Good Luck , god bless.
Sarah

Your talking about step 2 and 3, not 1!As for having dreams they are normal everyone one of us has had them, I just don't understand why people give them so much wieght. I first used the group as a whole as my hp. At any rate it is up to you about that you are on a journey to get yourself well, you have to search your own heart and find a hp that will suit you. If you don't believe in a higher power, next time you see a hurricane coming in shore, go stop it.

Thank you for the feedback. I do believe in a HP but does that mean I'm done with 1 if I know I'm an alcoholic and I'm powerless over it? There isn't something else I need to do? Somewhere I need to say it or something?

If it's really that simple than I guess I'll move along to step 2.

Step one is the Honesty Step. Where one finally gets honest enough with themselves to say I cannot drink as it controls me and takes me to places I longer want to go.

first off, this is a WE program we don't do any of this alone. you really need to be working closely with a sponsor there so they can guide you correctly (if they know how to that is ) in step one. they can show you .. teach you about step one and ask you questions. depending on your answers to your sponsor, they will tell you definitely if you have step one or not . its after that you move to step 2 again and also with your sponsor. and so on through the steps. we don't guess at this. as there are clear cut precise directions in this text book we call alcoholics anonymous also lovingly know as the big book. . don't worry about those dreams for now, after all they are just dreams

like what was suggested to me read the dr opinion 3 times and see if the dr description fits you or not. Like the above poster most ppl I sponsor we go thru, there is a solution and more about alcoholism and turn the statements into questions to see if that fits the sponsees exp to wether they are the real alki or just a problem or heavy drinker. I have yet to see this way fail either ones exp matches those in a general way or it doesnt. Step one is either one has lost the power of choice or they havent. Either lack of power is thier dilemna or it isnt. Only the real alkis have lost the power of choice and the bb says we never get it back. In step one acording to the BB we can not think the drink thru and the power we lacked must come from a power greater than our selves that is not of human making. I know in my own exp the federal government and state governments and courts tried to be that power to prevent me from ever drinking again. didnt work. It was very apparent when the govenrment took my very freedom cause of what I did as the result of untreated alcoholism they were clearly a power greater than me but they could not stop me from drinking forever. All human powers fail those of us who are alcoholic. All will fail to give us permanent sobriety. thats what makes us alcoholic. It says in the BB the exp of any alcoholic will confirm this. Its a scarry place when the delusion has been smashed to see that booze and everything that goes with it had beaten me but the freedom from that was the 12 steps.
thats my exp

In step 1 we accept we are powerless. In step 2 we accept that if we have no power then we need a power greater than ourselves. In step3 we make a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of that power.

The action of that turning over is steps 4 to 9 where we remove all the blockages between us and the power so that the power can enter our lives.

In steps 10,11 and 12 we work to keep the connection clear and to deepen it.

I guess in answer to your question - the way to turn it over is to complete the 12 steps - it is not ritualistic or symbolic it is more a process of action.

Feel free to PM me anytime I can help.

I suggest a good reading is "A Woman's Way through the Twelve Steps." by Stepahine Covington IN ADDITION to the work with your sponsor as previousl suggested.

It's a very subtle point, don't get lost in terminology. Too many people who don't understand outside of AA think it's horrible for especially woman to say "I am powerless."

Good Luck! Congratulations on choosing Life and Sanity!

Nicky, I love how you broke it all down. I especially like this part.....

"The action of that turning over is steps 4 to 9 where we remove all the blockages between us and the power so that the power can enter our lives."

Can you see clear as day that you are going to die if you continue to do the things you did when you were drinking? Or at least that it is going to be a short life of misery.

I think that's the bottom line with the step 1 experience. It's a horrible feeling of desperation and hoplessness and no future in sight whatsoever.

For me it was I can;t seem to control my drinking, but my life is slipping through my fingers cos I can;t seem to stay away from the first drink either. Everything I have tried has come to nothig. This is it, there is nothing but misery and death from here on in.

Get into that step 1 realisation and crushed ego, and you'll certainly consider new alternatives with unprecedented vigour.

Thank you all for your patient, loving insight.

Just don't take the first drink , come Hell or high water. That's where we all started from , Don't worry if you have to white knuckle it for awile.You have a sober life waiting for you, beyond your wildest dreams. It true!

Keep coming back. One the things that help me was understand how the disease work. I was taught my drinking and using was the way I lived for many years. So it will take time for my body to understand an accept in had stop handling life with chemical. Start reading the Big Book, working with your sponsor, going to meeting and yes continue to pray. It is also vital, in my humble opinion, to share that you want to drink. When I did that it took away or lessen the power my alcoholism had over me. I hope this helps.
Tina

strictly step one; Have you deep down looked in yourself and know that alcohol has whooped your ass, and will continually do so after taking the first drink.
We know the problem lies in our mind and we cannot do anything after the physical allergy takes over.
The oppisite of powerless is power and we have to find the power to help us with our thinking problem. When you fully digest this, commence to finding the power.

If you're asking about Step 1: To do Step one, you can write out how bad it got on your last drunk, drunks or weeks before surrendering to the AA program. Write out how bad it got and how bad you felt - include the emotional content and visualise what happened.

You probably have it stored in memory but this will help you to reprocess it and further remember the suffering you have experienced. I think Step one is about being able to bring into mind the pain and suffering you've experienced as a result of all your drinking and partying.

Whenever I do a Step one, I usually just have to remember the final moments, after that final party was over, just before the thoughts of suicide started to fill my mind.

I also think about the things I will lose if I pick up that first drink.
After being sober for about 7 and a half years (one day at a time) I have managed to accumulate things in my life that I know would disintegrate quickly if I went and took that first drink (Higher Power, wife, condo, job, friends). For this reason, when I do my Step one, I also bring to mind all the things I would lose if I were to take that first drink.

As far as Step 2: Just ask yourself what your Higher Power might be. This question, when kept in mind while doing the Steps will allow your mind to be open and ready for an answer when it comes.

What is a Higher Power? Doesn't mean you have to come up with an answer befoe moving on with the steps but allows you to remain open to an answer.