Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
I have been working w/ a sponsee for several weeks now and I was encouraged by her willingness, etc. Monday, while I was at a meeting, she left a voice mail stating she had decided to try some controlled drinking (I have no problem w/ this, as the BB suggests it if an individual is unsure whether or not he is alcoholic). I turned her over to my HP.
When I talked to her on Tuesday, she told me she talked to both her therapist and psychiatrist and came up with a drinking plan, complete with rules, boundaries and parameters. (I didn't tell her that normal drinkers don't need rules for drinking because I figured it was a lesson she needed to learn for herself.)
Well, looks like she learned the lesson. She has asked me to continue working with her. However, she posed the idea of having 2 sponsors. This is were I need some guidance.
My gut feeling is that having 2 people taking you through the steps is a possible precursor to pitting one sponsor against the other. You know, like when a kid hears an answer they don't want to hear from Mom, they got to Dad. I know too that I would be second guessing myself, wondering if the other sponsor was on the same page as me.
Please share your insight with me.
Thanks, SA
When I talked to her on Tuesday, she told me she talked to both her therapist and psychiatrist and came up with a drinking plan, complete with rules, boundaries and parameters. (I didn't tell her that normal drinkers don't need rules for drinking because I figured it was a lesson she needed to learn for herself.)
Well, looks like she learned the lesson. She has asked me to continue working with her. However, she posed the idea of having 2 sponsors. This is were I need some guidance.
My gut feeling is that having 2 people taking you through the steps is a possible precursor to pitting one sponsor against the other. You know, like when a kid hears an answer they don't want to hear from Mom, they got to Dad. I know too that I would be second guessing myself, wondering if the other sponsor was on the same page as me.
Please share your insight with me.
Thanks, SA
I would also set some boundaries around your work with her.
As I said too, I am not a sponsor so I don't claim to know the best or correct way. Never quite sure - I do know my own expectations haven bitten me a buncha times but that has been part of my learning process.
Regarding the "sponsorship" pamphlet... I did not find it helpful at all for myself in knowing what I could expect from a sponsor or how I should be a sponsee. I do think the chapter "Working with Others" is quite interesting.
Billy
I talked to my sponsor - she says "2 sponsors - no way."
The pamphlet about sponsoring also states
"Many feel it is best for a newcomer to have only one sponsor. Choosing one sponsor helps to avoid the precarious practice of a newcomer going from sponsor to sponsor seeking the advice he or she wants to hear."
I also agree with those of you who have or had more than one sponsor similtaneously - it does have it's merits. But I believe that is the luxury of one who has completed the steps and is seeking advice or counsel. I myself did just that with this post - I sought out people whose sobriety and program of recovery I respect in order to resolve a situation that was baffling.
I maintain my believe that multiple sponsors for the newcomer can cause confusion at the very least and can be a convert means of finding a softer, easier way to recovery.
Love, peace and sobriety,
SA
As for step 4 and 5. The step 4 is done by the sponsee. I'm just a guide. The step 5 they can do with whoever they like. I've had a sponsee of mine do their step 5 with a Navy Chaplain and I hope others who have done their step 5 with me have gone on to confide in a trusted source when 'more shall be revealed' comes true.
As for a sponsees having two, that's their choice. All I ask is they be willing, make the effort and work with me through the 12 steps the best they can. If they have another sponsor, and I haven't known if any of mine have, what goes on between them is between them. Time for the alcoholic to live by their choices and this is one of many. Hopefully the gifts they receive from all of us reaching out to help, guide and support them in their efforts to stay sober can empower them to make choices SO they don't pick up another drink.
If unsure seek out further info to make a better informed decision, then follow your gut SA. You're hearts gotta be in it too. :}