big Fail for me...:-) Moderation might work if you not a alcoholic...maye problem drinker

"The Almost Effect: Almost is too close to Always"
http://www.thealmosteffect.com/books/almost-alcoholic/

This is a touchy subject I think but truth is for a great majority of chronic problem drinkers the best advice is not to drink at all. One great way of defining that state of affairs is to use the term 'Alcoholic'...a club that not everybody wants to be in.

Self identified alcoholics might have a real problem chatting about the pros and cons of casual drinking if their experience says it was impossible, or hard enough and damaging enough to be not worth the effort or risk. I think that's why the massive majority of stayers here will declare themselves as abstinent or with a stated goal of abstinence. I'm in that camp anyway.

There might be plenty of folks out there who might put themselves in the grave through denial. There might be other folks who react strongly and put alcohol down for good when it wasn't an absolute life or death necessity. Who knows. If the analogy was a loaded gun with five empty chambers we might be having a different conversation :)

I try to say good luck to folks who want to turn things around and have a 'sensible' relationship with booze. My Mum managed it, my brother didn't (probably) but is still trying.

Me - I'm here and I'm not drinking today. I like to think I was in the vinegar jar for too long and I got well and truly pickled...ain't no going back to being a cucumber for me :)


P

http://www.helpguide.org/harvard/almost-alcoholic.htm

"Some people believe there are only two kinds of people in the world: alcoholics and non-alcoholics. Many also believe that we are either born alcoholics or we are not. This has been a prevailing view for a long time, and though this statement may seem dramatic to some, it does have some basis in reality. Those who hold these beliefs tend to be people who have experienced or witnessed the most severe symptoms and/or the most severe consequences of drinking, such as:

Being unable to stop drinking, beginning from the first time he or she had a drinkRepeatedly having blackouts (i.e. cant remember the next day what happened) after having only a few drinksBeing arrested multiple times for driving while intoxicatedBecoming violent on more than one occasion when drinking

We know from our own clinical experience that there are people who develop severe alcohol drinking patterns and behaviors such as the ones just described. These are true alcoholics. However, there are also a large number of people who dont meet the accepted criteria for diagnosing alcoholism, but fall into a grey area of problem drinking. These are the almost alcoholic."


http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-25639406

"There are other words for people who drink a lot. There is everything from the lightly derogatory "lush" to the more flowery "bibulous" to the prosaic "heavy drinker".

But there is nothing as succinct as alcoholic. And some believe that this gap has an effect.

Professionals have started using other terms that would not be as negative as alcoholic because "many doctors feel that it is quite difficult to engage a patient if you talk to them about alcoholism", says Dr Sarah Jarvis, a consultant for Patient.co.uk.

People have such vivid mental images of what it means to be an alcoholic that they measure themselves against that standard and do not seek help.

"They all have an idea of what an alcohol or problem drinker is but there is a different pattern for every drinker," Jarvis says.

Not all experts share this view, however.

There's a danger that avoiding the term "alcoholism" will only serve "to reassure people their drinking is OK when it isn't", says Moira Plant, emeritus professor of alcohol studies at the University of the West of England."

How I wish I could drink in moderation! Ha! That'll never happen, for me at least. I would most likely go back to binge drinking. Good luck with the planned moderation, no matter which direction you come at it from.

Three drinks is NOT moderation, lol!

I think we are here b/c we cannot handle alcohol in our lives... period.

Needhelp- I think you may need to just document your dabbling to PROVE that you just can NOT drink.

No booze equals baby sleep... Need any other reason to abstain??? It seems so clear to me...

And saying "just one, then" is a lie. We are on here because one is too may and never enough, right???

That's why I will never drink again!!! Just the idea of wondering what would happen... not worth it!!! I have been just WONDERFUL without a drop for almost 4 years now. Why on Earth would I introduce it back into my life. It's like a boyfriend from Hell, lol!

Isn't it easier to just say 0% then to find some magic moderation level that's just for you??? Playing with fire(water), I say...

Update on my Moderation (as promised).

Totally truthful here. The day after Easter I was sober, then I had something to drink each of the next six days. NEVER enough to crash and burn. One night I only had about 1/2 a shot, because what I used as a mix was a disaster, and I just didn't want any more.
Yesterday I was sober. Don't know about today yet. I think it will be my objective to be sober for at least three days running before having another drink.

I have switched from being so concerned about the alcohol abuse aspects, and now I'm caring mostly about the EMPTY CALORIES. I'm trying to take off a few pounds before summer. So that's good motivation.

I will keep reporting back. Hopefully this may help someone else out there.

Well good luck. Hope it works for you as you want.

P

There have been days where I could do this quite easily. Most not. On the "Most Not" days there are a series of triggers while drinking that will then cause more drinking. What makes it more difficult is that I would already be inebriated which would make it all the easier to overreact and want to continue. Most of those triggers involve depression and anxiety that already are there and become very pronounced after drinking. If it wasn't for the lack of sleep, anxiety the next day, saying things I probably want to say anyway but shouldn't and regret afterwards I would love to keep drinking. But until I can find some sort of happiness and calm within myself I am not able to confidently moderate myself. My lack of self control doesn't just stop with the consumption of alcohol. So personally I think it is something larger then simply saying there is this one thing that I just cannot handle and will never do again.

Good luck! Not something I could have done. Heck, until I quit, I couldn't make it one day without drinking, so moderation was just not an option for me.

I had a friend who was a very heavy drinker who went the moderation route. He promised his fiance (now wife) that he would never drink more than one night a week, and never have more than two drinks in a night. He has been able to stick with it for years.

I'm so glad to find some sense of sober over dryness. Ros

I've tried to drink in moderation many times. It has never worked for me. Maybe for a week or two, then I go back to all out drinking.

Need- if you can do it, more power to you. But if you get blotto again, will you admit that "moderation" isn't working??? At what level can you balance the tightrope?

I'm not asking to be critical... I'm genuinely intrigued at the notion of trying to have it both ways- not having alcohol run your life, but still have it IN your life...

Hmmm... What's the difference between ruin and run??? "I" gets out of it! LOL!!!

It's just like anything else. Like waking up and drinking a cup of coffee. Anything that can form a habit. Alcohol is more then how it affects your body. It's also the habit of it all. Maybe it begins to be a problem when you make it a bigger habit then whatever else you may enjoy. Maybe if you have a hard time finding joy in anything else, that's when alcohol is used to fill that void. Try to find something else to fill that void. Make alcohol a side thing that can add to what is already enjoyable. Not the primary habit.

Checking back in with my progress. In the two weeks since Easter, I have been completely sober (nothing to drink at all) for a total of four days. The other days, I have had varying degrees of success with "moderate" drinking. I do best if I stick with "just" wine.

I have a new "mantra" that I'm going to try. Before taking that first "sip" - I will ask myself: What is the Bigger Picture here? If I am drinking because I am stressed, or upset, the bigger picture is that I'm much less likely to be moderate. If I am drinking a glass of wine because it complements my dinner entree, then that would be true moderation.

I have learned so much from reading all the posts here. One thing that strikes me is that I'm not obsessed with alcohol per se - I'm obsessed with the idea of calm and stress reduction, and turning off my inner critic. When I can do that without alcohol, I will have won.

So far, I'm still in the battle.

That I can relate to...a few drinks and the idea it would just take the edge off the day, the anxieties...

Two things I learnt; first honestly it was almost impossible for me to have 'a few' drinks as time went on.

And second drinking the way I drank CAUSES chronic anxiety. It's one of the well known effects that excessive drinking has on mental health.

Good luck if you choose to continue but careful...there are many more sensible and sustainable ways to deal with anxiety and stress.

P

Hi Need4help,

You are right drinking at problems is the road to ruination.