Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
On Page 132 of the BB it says.
We absolutely insist on enjoying life.
So here's a way to start or end your day with a laugh.
God Bless...
Lionel
BEST PATIENTS TO OPERATE ON
Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on.
The first surgeon, from New York, says, "I like to see accountants on my
operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is
numbered."
The second, from Chicago, responds, "Yeah, but you should try
electricians!
Everything inside them is color coded."
The third surgeon, from Dallas, says, "No, I really think librarians are
the
best-- everything inside them is in alphabetical order."
The fourth surgeon, from Los Angeles, chimes in, "You know, I like
construction workers...those guys always understand when you have a few
parts left over."
But the fifth surgeon, from Washington, D.C., shut them all up when he
observed: "You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on.
There's no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains and no spine, and the head
and the ass are interchangeable."
A 90-year-old man said to his doctor, "I've never felt better. I have an 18-year old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do you think about that?"
The doctor considered his question for a minute and then said, "I have an elderly friend who is a hunter and never misses a season. One day when he was going out in a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his umbrella instead of his gun. When he got to the Creek, he saw a rabbit sitting beside the stream. He raised his umbrella and went, 'bang, bang' and the rabbit fell dead. What do you think of that?"
The 90-year-old said, "I'd say somebody else killed that rabbit."
The doctor replied, "My point exactly."
We absolutely insist on enjoying life.
So here's a way to start or end your day with a laugh.
God Bless...
Lionel
BEST PATIENTS TO OPERATE ON
Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on.
The first surgeon, from New York, says, "I like to see accountants on my
operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is
numbered."
The second, from Chicago, responds, "Yeah, but you should try
electricians!
Everything inside them is color coded."
The third surgeon, from Dallas, says, "No, I really think librarians are
the
best-- everything inside them is in alphabetical order."
The fourth surgeon, from Los Angeles, chimes in, "You know, I like
construction workers...those guys always understand when you have a few
parts left over."
But the fifth surgeon, from Washington, D.C., shut them all up when he
observed: "You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on.
There's no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains and no spine, and the head
and the ass are interchangeable."
A 90-year-old man said to his doctor, "I've never felt better. I have an 18-year old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do you think about that?"
The doctor considered his question for a minute and then said, "I have an elderly friend who is a hunter and never misses a season. One day when he was going out in a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his umbrella instead of his gun. When he got to the Creek, he saw a rabbit sitting beside the stream. He raised his umbrella and went, 'bang, bang' and the rabbit fell dead. What do you think of that?"
The 90-year-old said, "I'd say somebody else killed that rabbit."
The doctor replied, "My point exactly."
(there is always one eh??? haha)
But we aren't a glum lot. If newcomers could see no joy or fun in our existence, they wouldn't want it.
God Bless...
Lionel
A golf club visits a local bar
A golf club walks into a local bar and asks the barman for a pint of beer.
The barman refuses to serve him. "Why not," asks the golf club.
"You'll be driving later," replies the bartender.
A brain goes to a local bar
A brain walks into a bar and says, "I'll have a pint of beer please."
The barman looks at him and says "Sorry, I can't serve you."
"Why not?" askes the brain.
"You're already out of your head."
A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender says, "We've got a drink named after you." The grasshopper says, "What, Gary?"
A skeleton walks into a bar and says, "Gimmea beer, and a mop."
An amnesiac comes into a bar. He asks, "Do I come here often?"
A guy walks into a bar with jumper cables. The bartender says, "You can come in, but don't start anything!"
A neutron walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender sets the beer down and says, "For you, no charge!"
A pig goes into a bar and orders ten drinks. He finishes them up and the bartender says, "Don't you need to know where the bathroom is?" The pig says, "No, I go wee wee all the way home."
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says, "A beer please, and one for the road."
A hamburger walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food in here."