The day after always sucks. A wise person once told me that when you've experienced a certain amount of recovery, you can never fully enjoy drinking again. I've found it to be true.

Today will suck HowTo-.....there's no question. But tomorrow will be better........as long as you lay off the bottle. Just get through it as best you can.

When I finally got round to reading the Big Book (believe me, an an intellectual exercise), I read about having an "allergy" to alcohol, and it really struck a nerve. It was the reason I ended up cleaning up vomit on my car from the drinking I tried in my younger years. The heaving and the coolness of the bathroom floor. Yuck.

My body was trying to tell me something. I've been really trying to listen to my body.

Don't give up on yourself. I was a heavy drinker for 18 years and completely quit in October 2009. My body has experienced some changes. Instead of getting drunk when I am pissed off, bad day, worried or bored, I do something else. Read a book. Think. A lot of times I just lie in my bed and rest my eyes. Its amazing how much time I have. While I was still drinking, I read that habitual drinking stunts your emotional growth - have a problem, get drunk, fail to work thru problem. That stuck with me. I am in my 30s and maturing more than I ever thought. I enjoy being sober. I never thought I would be able to say this about myself.

I think it's good that you're not having fun and you're not achieving the desired effect. Your body is telling you "enough!!!". Listen to it Anna.....

oh man, know what you mean but i heard this in a meeting, "my mind is out to kill me but it needs my body to get me there." and it's true, once you know better, you want to do better. hold on for brighter days, love.

That was true for me RR. Who am I? Experiences, influences, or lack of from my childhood shaped who I became. Once I looked inside at who I was, I could make changes in my life to become who I wanted to be. Painful? sure, but the effort, practice, patience has led to peace and joy today.

There's a journey of self-discovery with your name on it HTL. You've got some work ahead of you yeah, but the good news is you don't have to travel it alone, but you do have to take action to move forward. Keep getting back up, learn and grow.

Rummy, bitch, you might just get my loser ass sober. I love you man. Quoting therapy and shit. You rock dude. Keep it coming. For real. I made a mistake. This sucks.

Maybe since you lost the battle this time you can figure out how to win the war.

You know you can't drink... so maybe you can find peace with that. I hope your next 50 days sober (and beyond!) aren't such a struggle.

Agree you finally see that drinking ain't doing it... time to look for something that will fill the hole in your soul. An HP does that for me.

No great words of advice.....just to say that I have been exactly where you are and never, ever want to be there again.

I have done it and you CAN do it!!!!!

Stop saying I can't and Start saying I CAN!!!!

And then DO IT...........

Hug and a Kick
Ree

I wonder what happened right before you picked up that first drink last eve? We spoke earlier and you didn't seem to be upset. I'm surprised actually. So maybe start charting this pattern. Then maybe do something when you recognize that initial build up...before you take that first drink.

For today it is important not to continue. You had a bad night. It's over, today is a new day and you have a choice not to continue on into a binge mode. Please be careful. Go to a meeting today. Call friends, etc. Stop the binge before it takes a hold of you. You can do this, better today than in a month or so.

By the way, your cursing increases about a hundred times when you are like this. I feel the anger in it all.

So many relaspes mixed with long periods of soberity. Maybe once again you might consider a rehab. It doesn't look like you are able to do it alone dear. Think about it ok? I know I've suggested this over and over, however, one week at a rehab cut my binges down 90% or more. And if I have a relaspe it last only a day or two at most. Before the rehab it took months to get back on track. love ya Anna...Alice