Alcoholism Support Group

Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.

4,518 Members

34,168 Posts

0 Online

Ashley8888 10/06/2009

Well, I have been sober now a little over two weeks but still have not gone to meetings like I know I should be...Im okay for now though and plan to soon...

But I have recently started cleaning for this couple (second time today, and the guy kept saying I looked fimilar)...his wife kind of told me he was sober...Well today he came and asked me if "I was friends with Bill W..." Well I froze and told him no, but my brother and father were(that part is not a lie)...I am not sure why I lied...I have only been to a few meetings...but I am afraid when I start going back I will run into him now...I guess I didn't want to say yes and then have to tell him its been a couple weeks....
What do I say if I do happen to run into him? I know its not a huge deal but I feel bad now, for lieing to him....

drafter 10/06/2009

Just tell him you're new and you panicked. No big deal.

deleted_user 10/06/2009

When people ask me a question that I believe is non of their business or that is inappropriate (which I do believe that question was because you weren't at a meeting at that time)...I always look very interested at them and then say simply "Why do you ask??"

The majority of the time they have no answer and they change the subject. If they do have an answer then I acknowledge their answer with a nod and a ohhhh...then I change the subject.

Takes practice though, sometimes you can get caught off guard like you did. alice

itstheshoes 10/06/2009

I'm sure he'll understand. He was probably in your shoes at some time. BTW, congrats on your 2 plus weeks!

CoogeeMum 10/06/2009

Hi Ashley, if you run into him, say hello. There is no need to justify your reasons. If he is friends with Bill W. he will be happy that you are there. :}

deleted_user 10/06/2009

Ash, you have a right to your anonymity. You were put on the spot. You lied to protect yourself. You have every right to your privacy. You probably lied because you fell into instinct. Don't feel bad about it. If you ever run into him again, he will most likely understand. Shake his hand in a meeting and explain your boundaries for yourself in public. He did no wrong but neither did you. I see friends in public from AA and don't run up and talk about meetings and such... It's respect for one another recovery.

deleted_user 10/06/2009

Ashley, When you meet a friend of Bill W's it is like a mutual sigh of relief. I 100% guaranteee the truth will set you free on this one. I also guarantee it will be no big deal from his point of view. Respond with reply #1's suggestion.

deleted_user 10/06/2009

I guarantee you that he will not give it another thought, he'll be happy to see you. Don't worry about it for another second, it'll be just fine Ashley.

donttread 10/06/2009

drafter's right. He'll understand

deleted_user 10/06/2009

Is it not he who should feel bad? I mean-to call her out like that. I would certainly feel out the waters-what if someone is not ready to admit this? It is kinda scary for some newcomers to have people around town seeing them in the supermarket saying saying "Hi, are you friends with Bill W"...heck I did not even know that was a code phrase until now. It would have been kinda freaky to me, but then I would think Bill W. was like some kind of drug dealer or old boyfriend. hahahahah

deleted_user 10/06/2009

Ashley, if you're worried about what he will think of you, you definitely have to much time on your hands, lol. Stop shoulding all over yourself and get to a meeting!

deleted_user 10/07/2009

I was so used to being dishonest when i first arrived at AA that the lies just rolled out of my mouth. keep going work the steps, please get a well grounded sponsor and remember sobriaty rocks. Dan

Join the Conversation