I am so grateful to my friends, I am tearing up this morning. In fact, had several in my am mtg in happy tears. I am walking around with chills because what I feel is so much love and gratitude.

I have spent most of the last 49 days in my own personal hell. The last few were more difficult than I ever imagined could be. I decided to drink. I wrote an email to get out of work on Friday. I planned my weekend all the way through Tuesday. It was going to be the worst binge yet. I even let a friend off the hook from trying to help me. I was GOING TO drink. I was sure of it. I refused to even pray because I had gotten to the point I didn't WANT the obsession to be removed. I didn't know if I'd live through this binge or if I'd ever get sober again. The "I love yous" were flowing because I wanted everyone to know how I felt in case something happened.

I feel flattered and undeserving of this miracle. I feel immense LOVE for the friends who took literally hours (every waking hour) through the past couple days and nights trying so hard to distract me, talk sense into me, and give me hope. I didn't think it was possible to help me this time. I don't even know how I am still sober today.

For the first time in my life, last night, I got on my knees, and I THANKED God for giving me so many amazing friends who care for me. This is the greatest gift I have received in as long as I can remember.

I am grateful to be sober today. I feel incredible. I can't fathom drinking to this sort of LOVE. It DID pass finally.

I trusted. I was honest. I told on myself. I was willing. I let my friends try to help. And I waited. And I can't imagine a better place to be today.

Love to all.