Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
Hi people,
Today will be my first day . Right now it is morning and usually every morning for the last couple of years I start out great and feeling good and then the afternoon hits and I start thinking that I can drink again.
This morning I've been reading the discussions and thinking about my drinking problem.
It's been 5 years that I've been drinking heavily. It still amazes me that I am here now. I never drank until I was 45 years old. I had tried drinking but decided it wasn't for me because I always got sick and didn't like the way I felt the next day. I drank a beer 5 years ago at a New Years party and felt so good that i never stopped drinking since then. I was just recovering from PTSD from my husband's cancer . I have been through a lot in my life but never as hard as seeing my husband practically dying on me with three young boys at that time. It was probably the scariest time in my life( it still brings me to tears thinking about that) . He' s in remission now so he's good .
Anyways, I know that was what started it and now I am here . My drinking is progressing and I hate who I've become.
I need encouragement and advice ...
Today will be my first day . Right now it is morning and usually every morning for the last couple of years I start out great and feeling good and then the afternoon hits and I start thinking that I can drink again.
This morning I've been reading the discussions and thinking about my drinking problem.
It's been 5 years that I've been drinking heavily. It still amazes me that I am here now. I never drank until I was 45 years old. I had tried drinking but decided it wasn't for me because I always got sick and didn't like the way I felt the next day. I drank a beer 5 years ago at a New Years party and felt so good that i never stopped drinking since then. I was just recovering from PTSD from my husband's cancer . I have been through a lot in my life but never as hard as seeing my husband practically dying on me with three young boys at that time. It was probably the scariest time in my life( it still brings me to tears thinking about that) . He' s in remission now so he's good .
Anyways, I know that was what started it and now I am here . My drinking is progressing and I hate who I've become.
I need encouragement and advice ...
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Dick Van Dyke’s path to sobriety was a turning point in his life and career. Here’s what happened:How He Got SoberStruggles and Realization: Van Dyke began drinking as a teenager, largely to cope with shyness and social anxiety. Alcohol made him feel more comfortable in social settings, but over time, his drinking spiraled out of control. By his mid-40s, he recognized that he had an addictive...
Today is a good day to have your first day because very often people keep putting it off until tomorrow.
You have been thinking about your drinking problem and that is a good start. It is important to be honest with yourself when you are having that inner discussion. What is the exact nature of your problem? Do you understand what alcoholism means? Those are questions that you could honestly ask yourself. The answers are not always obvious or easy to come by or at least that is what I found when I was at day one.
There were two important facts about drinking that I did not know at the time and once I knew those things the pieces of the jigsaw fell into place. The first thing I had not known was that I drank like I did for two reasons. Although I could have listed dozens of reasons for turning to alcohol at every opportunity, what I did not know was that I did it because drinking had become an obsession. The second thing I did not know was that once I took a drink I immediately craved more alcohol and couldnt stop drinking.
If you turn to alcohol because of an obsession of the mind and continue drinking when you want to stop then your problem could be alcoholism. If that is the case you may need help. Glad to hear that your husband is better.
As the problem worsened I also knew that when I started to drink I couldn't stop until I passed out or was somehow prevented from getting any more.
Another thing was the awful emptiness inside, I despised what I had become.
After various attempts to stop by myself I was still obsessed by alcohol and so miserable in the way I felt that sooner or later I once again sought solace in what got me into so much trouble in the first instance. It was a vicious circle.
I needed help and that was on offer at Alcoholics Anonymous with a 12 Step programme which helped me to deal with the mess I had made during the drinking days. These days I can deal with whatever comes my way, good or bad, without even thinking of taking a drink. That, to me, is an amazing experience. I saw that other alcoholics had achieved a normal, happy life and they helped me to find that for myself.
Leave no stone unturned until you find the best way forward for yourself.
I'm so glad your husband is in remission and now you are ready to find remission from alcoholism for you. No situation drove me to drink, I had no reason to become an alcoholic but here I am.
I've decided to use this forum to admit my problem. Ive wanted to go to AA meetings but I don't think I can because I'm afraid to see people I know there and because of my work - I don't think I should . I'm also super embarrassed and ashamed that I don't think I can be perfectly honest there. I also don't have the time to drive to another area to go .
I'm going to journal and be honest with my problem. Stay close to God and continue to pray for healing.
Thank you for your responses!
You're right! It is crazy drinking...I couldn't believe how much it took over me again. I was only going to have a 6 pack and here I am 1 year later..4 hospital visits and now 13 days sober. I drank for almost the whole year everyday. I can count the number of times I took a shower or ate food on my hands/feet. Not many.
Get some Dr advice...Maybe try to taper off? Maybe get medicine? But pick a quit date and REALLY try hard on that day. When we get sick of being sick...we stop...it sounds like your almost there.
I found that going to aa and confronting all those fears WAS how I was able to get better. See booze wants me scared and alone
Best on your journey.
1-2
I know what you are saying about AA is true but I'm so ashamed of myself from the drinking . I wish I could go - I've looked into other cities near me but never followed through because my schedule is so full and don't have the time .
I'm usually ok when I stop medically even though I've been drinking a bottle of wine every night . Is that normal? I'm pretty healthy otherwise. I run all the time - i just havent been able to get up at 5am to run because my sleep have been dramatically affected by the alcohol. I have to admit that I haven't gone to the drs in a while just because of my drinking. Scary .
I know I have a problem with alcohol - so today is my first day
Did anyone try naltrexone ?
I have moved on with my life. I've even remarried. But the drinking has always been there. I finally admitted that it was a problem, which is why I'm here.
Just know that you can and will change if you commit to it. And the people here are incredibly supportive.
Good luck to you on your path. You can do it!
http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Alcoholism/forum/20059497-naltrexone-cure-alcoholism
I'm with you on the AA meetings. I don't want to lose momentum with my career because people find out about my alcoholism. A lot of people on here have nice stories about how understanding people are and how most people end up being proud of you for admitting it and whatnot....but that does not make me feel better and does not make me want to tell people. I don't want to take the risk and so that is why I do not want to go to meetings. They work for a lot of people, great. There are other ways to quit and we are all different, so I say, try something and see if it works.
Maybe we will both realize someday that meetings are the only way. But today, I want to try other things first.
I started looking into natural remedies and I bought L-glutamine, Kudzu, and goldenseal root to take to see if they help. I will update on that in a few weeks or so as I'm still waiting on the goldenseal and kudzu but they should come tomorrow or so.
Don't hate yourself for having a problem....I hated myself for awhile....it doesn't do anything. Best wishes!
1. Prayer
2. Going to meetings
3. Talking with a sponsor
4. Reading the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous
5. Service work
You can do it and you're worth it.
I'm doing ok and I'm on day 2 - it's not been bad when I'm working and doing what I love to do. Even though I thought about drinking after work but was too busy to do anything about it.
One thing that pj54 said that's been on my mind is that when I start drinking I can't seem to stop until I'm drunk which is a sign I'm an alcoholic but I wonder about the compulsion aspect . What does that mean exactly compulsion ? To think about it constantly ? Is it because you are trying to fill a emotional void ?
Anyone know ?
I'm going to keep going . See you tomorrow
There is so much discussion here and elsewhere about alcoholism and it is all good except that two vital pieces of information often get overlooked.
Before you can treat any problem it is good to know about the exact nature of the problem. For example, if there was a strange noise coming from the engine of your car you would want to investigate the cause before paying out a lot of money to get it fixed. With alcoholism, we try all sorts of solutions in order to fix the problem but we often fail to investigate the cause so very often our solutions are bound to fail as well. Once we know the exact nature of the alcohol problem we can apply a solution that works, even though there may be different things that work for different people.
Some people will argue and express different opinions as they are entitled to do. However, it is generally agreed among those who are familiar with the alcohol problem that there are two things involved and understanding this is the foundation upon which recovery may be built.
Where alcoholism is concerned, part of the problem is in the mind and part of it is in the body. The compulsion that you have referred to is also known by other names such as an obsession, insanity where alcohol is concerned, blind-spot etc. The obsession for alcohol develops gradually and the message in the mind changes as it does. For example, I found it easier to do certain jobs if I had a few drinks before starting and in my mind alcohol worked. Later, the message in my head changed from a few drinks would help to I cant do this without a few drinks. Eventually, I came to wrongly believe that I could not do the simplest things without having alcohol on board. Drinking had become an obsession and I would always have to find reasons to justify taking a few drinks. For example, if my wife and I went shopping to a distant town and she wanted to get something to eat, I would always make sure that we went to a place where alcohol was served. I would justify the decision by saying that the food was bad and unhealthy in those cafes but the real reason was that the caf did not serve alcohol. I was obsessed with alcohol and would find a reason to drink no matter how absurd that reason would appear to a normal person. Therefore, the first vital piece of information is that an alcoholic is a person who has developed a mental obsession for alcohol.
An alcoholic is also different to a so-called normal drinker in another way and this difference is in the body. Over a period of time a change occurs in the way that the body breaks down alcohol and the result is that the person develops an abnormal reaction to alcohol. Once such a person takes a drink, a craving develops in the body for more alcohol and another drink is taken in order to try and satisfy the craving. This is why an alcoholic will not stop at one or two drinks and even after drinking a lot, will still want more. A normal drinker does not have this craving and can stop drinking at will. The second vital piece of information is that the craving for more alcohol cannot develop if the first drink is avoided. This is the reality for someone who is one week sober and also for the person who is one year, ten years etc. sober. Regardless of the length of sobriety, one drink will lead to a craving for more.
Having an understanding of those two vital facts allows us to make some decisions. I can choose to take a few drinks to celebrate my birthday next month but as an alcoholic I know where those few seemingly harmless drinks will lead I will be right back to where I was when I stopped drinking. If I am lucky I will be back here telling you all that I am on day 1 again and if my luck runs out I will be lowered into the ground in a nicely polished wooden box.
Therefore, I had to find some means of removing that obsession for alcohol so that I would not get the insane thought that I could drink again. That is where the debate and the arguments usually start how to remove the obsession?
That is a lot of words to explain something simple but if you look in there you will hopefully understand why you take a drink and why you cannot easily stop once you start the two vital facts.
Thanks for your reply -I agree with everything
How do you remove the obsession from your mind ?
In a previous post I referred to two vital facts about alcoholism that often get overlooked. One is an abnormal reaction that occurs in the body and results in a craving for more alcohol which makes it extremely difficult for an alcoholic to stop once he or she takes a drink. This craving for more cannot develop if the first drink is not taken. The other is an obsession for alcohol that develops in the mind and leaves the alcoholic defenceless against the thinking that leads up to taking the first drink. Since the craving can be avoided by abstaining from the first drink, the main problem for the alcoholic is in the mind the obsession for alcohol. The solution to the problem involves finding some means of removing the obsession.
There is much debate and sometimes heated argument about how to deal with the obsession as can often be seen in threads here on DS. I can only offer an opinion based on my own experience and what I have learned and observed over many years, first of all as a heavy drinker, then as a hopeless alcoholic and today as someone who no longer has an obsession for alcohol.
It seems to me that there are several ways of dealing with the obsession or compulsion as some people call it but it may be that people tend to arrive at a similar destination regardless of which path they take. The process involves bringing about a change in the way of thinking or as I have seen it described, a complete change in attitudes, opinions and outlook. This change may be brought about through counselling for some people. Others turn to religion, either organised religion or some alternative and it works for them. For people who are not yet far down the road to alcoholism, just putting time between themselves and the last drink may be enough. For very many others, perhaps for the majority of alcoholics, none of these approaches on their own seem to work. These people will often continue to drink, losing everything along the way until they are eventually locked up or dead, leaving much heartbreak and devastation in their wake. Is there then no hope for these chronic alcoholics?
It has been found that where everything else has failed, a combination of support from other people who suffer from the same problem, coupled with some sort of programme or set of suggestions or guides to living has led to almost miraculous recovery for these once hopeless alcoholics. The same approach works for those who are not so far down the road to alcoholism so there is no need to wait until all is lost or the person has hit rock bottom before taking action.
There have been many attempts made over the years to help people with an alcohol problem and some of those attempts were quite successful, at least for a time. The Washingtonian Temperance Society was started in Baltimore, Maryland in 1840 and they got people to sign up to a pledge to abstain from drinking. Although the Washingtonians were quite successful, they eventually failed, partly because they became involved with other issues that had nothing to do with their primary purpose. They also did not have a planned programme of recovery.
In the 1930s it was found that once hopeless alcoholics could recover from alcoholism by undergoing some sort of spiritual change. A set of principles were laid down that helped to bring about that change or spiritual awakening and those principles became known as The Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. It was found that by following the suggested principles, not only was the obsession for alcohol removed but very often peoples lives changed for the better in very many other ways. There are many people who have a problem with the AA approach for a variety of reasons and often but not always it is because they do not understand what is involved. You will sometimes see an accusation that AA is religious or that it is a cult, neither of which is true. The AA programme of recovery suggests a spiritual rather than a religious approach and it works as well for agnostics and atheists as it does for religious people.
That is my opinions on how the obsession for alcohol may be removed and of course people are welcome to agree or disagree. My own journey took me to a point where I had lost all hope as I could not stop drinking. Not knowing what else to do I eventually went to an AA meeting. I was suspicious of everything about AA and the people in it and questioned much of what they said. However, by default more than design I ended up giving their programme of recovery a try. To my surprise it worked and I have not taken a drink since I walked into that first AA meeting almost seven years ago.
runnergirl0633, I cannot tell you what to do but I have told you what has worked for me and for many others. My only advice to you is to keep an open mind and to explore all possibilities because alcoholism is a progressive condition that always gets worse if left untreated. The link below may be of interest:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5pVBDQPC2XQ