Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
I am feeling pretty bad right now...and just trying to figure out how to sort this out in my mind...
I got sober about 3 month ago...my then boyfriend had a lot to do with that, he was an inspiration...He stopped taking pain pills and dove head first into NA, I followed and started going back to AA...but this time I got a sponser, started talking to other women, and doing things the right way...as I had saw him do and was jealous, lol....
BUT while he was in NA, he had never stopped the other prescription drug he was on, and he was not taking it as the doctor said, he was abusing it, and there were lots of lies that came with him doing that...Our relationship had been bad for awhile and nothing there was changing...
SO, I began talking to my sponser about it and she told me I needed to let him go, kick him out....I did
Well after I kicked him out, he got pulled over and was caught with drugs on him and lied to the cop about still having his old job in corrections(he was the director, he has a masters degree, he is a good hearted man)...I think it was a large amout because the charge was trafficing, but he had said it was b/c they were in a baggie...
BUT he got out, and I thought good THIS WILL WAKE him up and he will see that he needs to fix this problem too...
Okay sorry for being long winded here...we are broke up but still talked...and honestly i had the hopes of him getting a little better, sorting out his life and us getting back together and some point....
SO, the point I found out yesterday that he shot some kid...HE SHOT SOMEONE...he had shot at their car with his semi auto. gun and luckily it only hit the kid in his leg!! but still the kid had to have surgery, has lots of rehab ahead of him ...there is a small hope that it wasnt him but it was his gun...
HE threw away his LIFE!! He faces prison and all i can think is what if I would of let him stay here and tried to help him, maybe this would not of happened...He is not a bad guy, not this type of guy...he was hanging out with the wrong people, he moved in with his bestfriend the drug dealer...maybe he had no where eles to go...I thought he was going to his moms but his sister was already back there after her break up...
SO sorry for being so long...I just feel so aweful for him and I hop e you all dont think I am an awefulk person for not saying he is getting what he deserves...I know that but WHY did he have to do this...HE had NEVER been in ANY trouble befor two month ago...he was a helper, he helped men transition back into the community to be better people...
I got sober about 3 month ago...my then boyfriend had a lot to do with that, he was an inspiration...He stopped taking pain pills and dove head first into NA, I followed and started going back to AA...but this time I got a sponser, started talking to other women, and doing things the right way...as I had saw him do and was jealous, lol....
BUT while he was in NA, he had never stopped the other prescription drug he was on, and he was not taking it as the doctor said, he was abusing it, and there were lots of lies that came with him doing that...Our relationship had been bad for awhile and nothing there was changing...
SO, I began talking to my sponser about it and she told me I needed to let him go, kick him out....I did
Well after I kicked him out, he got pulled over and was caught with drugs on him and lied to the cop about still having his old job in corrections(he was the director, he has a masters degree, he is a good hearted man)...I think it was a large amout because the charge was trafficing, but he had said it was b/c they were in a baggie...
BUT he got out, and I thought good THIS WILL WAKE him up and he will see that he needs to fix this problem too...
Okay sorry for being long winded here...we are broke up but still talked...and honestly i had the hopes of him getting a little better, sorting out his life and us getting back together and some point....
SO, the point I found out yesterday that he shot some kid...HE SHOT SOMEONE...he had shot at their car with his semi auto. gun and luckily it only hit the kid in his leg!! but still the kid had to have surgery, has lots of rehab ahead of him ...there is a small hope that it wasnt him but it was his gun...
HE threw away his LIFE!! He faces prison and all i can think is what if I would of let him stay here and tried to help him, maybe this would not of happened...He is not a bad guy, not this type of guy...he was hanging out with the wrong people, he moved in with his bestfriend the drug dealer...maybe he had no where eles to go...I thought he was going to his moms but his sister was already back there after her break up...
SO sorry for being so long...I just feel so aweful for him and I hop e you all dont think I am an awefulk person for not saying he is getting what he deserves...I know that but WHY did he have to do this...HE had NEVER been in ANY trouble befor two month ago...he was a helper, he helped men transition back into the community to be better people...
I'm sure we all had times when we were not in any trouble. All the troublesome, tragic things that happen to other people are YETS for everyone else.
God bless.
~Chris
Some folks never hit bottom until they are in the grave. You need to know that what happened was his choice-and if he was doing the correct path he perhaps would not have been kicked out.
This is on him-let him go. I know it is hard and sad, but you must let him go....
No, it's not your fault he's in trouble. He would've got busted for drugs whether he was with you or not. Instead of the kid getting shot, it might have eventually been you.
You can't save him from himself so save yourself by sticking close to your fellowship and trudge on.
Why do we women always want to take the blame for someone else's choices?????
ANd I know the are a ton of yets to follow me too if I chose to drink...I wont do that, but dealing with this pain is not easy right now...
you cannot save anyone but with recovery and the help of your hp and others you may learn to save yourself.
Let yourself grieve and be sad for this loss. But know it is over.
I talked to his mom and it helped to hear here say she didnt blame me one bit...she said it well "he is a grown ass man and makes his own choices" she is pretty mad at him right now!! She also said that she is keeping him there because he needs to be there...i guess I cant argue with that...he did this to himself...NOT ME!
so simple...but hard to accept, i will though....I have enough on my plate right now
But truly thank you all for your support, wisdom and kindness :)
I am sorry to hear about this trouble you are having but I would urge you to be cautious and to look after yourself at this time. What happened to your boyfriend is sad but you are in no way responsible. He made his own decisions and now he has to face the consequences and there is nothing that you can do to change that. So, instead stay focused on what you can do and what you can influence.
You were probably right to kick him out but I think that your sponsor should not have told you that you needed to do it. That was way beyond what she is supposed to do as a sponsor but you probably still made the right decision. The best of sponsors will make mistakes so keep working with her and pay close attention to the programme.
It is important to accept the things we cannot change and to change the things we can. What you can change is your own life and how you handle people and situations. Work with your sponsor on the 12 Steps and you will learn to deal with difficult circumstances.