Alcoholism Support Group

Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.

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need a plan

Ashley8888
Ashley8888
So, I am going back to work soon, a new job...and I am a server....i have to find a way to say no to going out with co-workers, at first it will be easy because I will be new but I know as time passes, there will be the ones who go out after work and drink...I want to make friends and I know it can not be that way, also how do I say no and have them thinking I am a snob, and I do not want to come out and say I am an alcoholic....
I just feel like I really need a plan when I go back into that environment....and changing jobs is not an option right now....it just isn't right now....
So, any advise on what to tell my new co-workers why I do not drink, other than alcoholic....(do not feel that is anyones buisness)?
And it is a nice place and what if they want me try different wines? how do I tell them I cant do that?
Ashley8888
Ashley8888
Btw, I read the other post on here about being offered a drink, but I think it is a lot different when it is people you work with and it is what everyone eles is doing to bond (going out)...I wish I was stronger and could go out with out wanting to drink but I know that is NOT possible for me right now...
deleted_user
deleted_user
I worked in a restaurant, that is probably the most partying after hours type of job you can have. If I were you, I would make it known that you don't party. Sheesh, that is a hard job for an young single alki to be in. Stay firm in your decision. As for wine testing, I like the idea of saying you are allergic-it is the truth and would not be cause for further inquiry or judgement. Be well
Ashley8888
Ashley8888
thanks Karmic...but doesnt "allergic" kinda sound like you are saying alcoholic? I dont know, I might say I am on medication and cant, but what kind of meds. can i say if someone where to be nosey and ask?
maybe I am thinking into this too much, i dont know...
deleted_user
deleted_user
Making up excuses will come back to haunt you. Just tell them you are alergic, it does not sound like alki. If they are in the program, they will understand, and if they press just tell them it makes you break out in cuffs.
Being a recovering alki is not something to be ashamed of, but you don't need to broadcast it if your not comfortable Good Luck
deleted_user
deleted_user
Just say you are allergic or that you have a bad reaction to alcohol. Then if you're in AA go to a meeting instead of the bar. As for being sociable ask the co workers you like to go eat or see a movie etc.
The restaurant industry seems to have a higher than average share of alcoholics so be careful and make sure your spiritual foundation is strong and you are on good terms with your higher power.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Hey there my KY sister! I agree with Reed, "I have a bad reaction sounds good", and quickly change ask someone a question about themselves (people love to talk about themselves..threw them off the topic). I have a question for you though. Are you ready to be in the "after hour bar and grill place...I'm assuming like AppleBee's" after work? everyone drinking? I know for me, I couldn't, it's too soon for me. "Slippery places..." I know you've mentioned on other posts isolating yourself and you don't like that...hmmm I hope you can find some nondrinking buddies. Come on down, we can sit on the front porch and watch the deer! Good luck! Tammie
deleted_user
deleted_user
Invite your co-workers to coffee and cake after work, you start the ball rolling. It's none of their business why you don't drink, most of them won't care anyway. If you are asked to try wines you can quite truthfully tell them that you are allergic.
Ashley8888
Ashley8888
Thank you all so much for all of your wonderful ideas....I went to work today and they told me I will be on day shift for awhile....which means I will get off earlier and the temptation from work will probable little to none...being breakfast and lunch....yeah...no late night right now....I am so excited to be getting back to work....and I feel so much better now knowing I will not be on nights for awhile:)
You all are soo wonderful on here....I appreciate the advice you all give so much!!!
Thanks for helping me stay sober this long...about 45 days!!!! yeah me:)
and my Ky sister, I might come watch those deer with you, how relaxing:) or you could come sit on my baloney and watch the pollution of downtown...lol... I loved your advice, just let them talk more, good idea:)