I relapsed a thousand times. I was always welcomed back.

Hello mycrofft,

There's a sociological point I've made before here and which I hope is worth making again here, because anyone's early acquaintance with AA can be quite an unnerving experience. Not only newcomers, but also judges, parole officers, social workers, doctors, therapists, clergy and mothers-in-law often don't understand that AA is not an organization in the same structural category as, for example, Celebrate Recovery, which has clear-cut definitions and insignia of membership, as also do such institutions as Harvard, the Army, the Moonies or the Episcopal Church. In these institutions there are formal and official procedures for inducting, identifying, regulating and terminating members. In such organizations, if someone misrepresents the doctrines, mission statement or operational policies of the organization as a whole, such a person can be reprimanded, silenced or even expelled.

This is not the case at all with Alcoholics Anonymous, and it can be very disconcerting for both newcomers and impartial observers alike. There is no Board of Admissions, and there are no background investigations, physical or psychiatric exams, no aptitude, competence or literacy tests, no formal course of study or training nor creed to attest to, pledges of allegiance or oaths of honor required for entry or subscription renewal reminders for extended membership. There's no chain of command, no grand pooh-bah, no faculty with teaching authority and a grading curve, no campus police or MP's, and no financial records locked in a safe somewhere that the rank-and-file aren't allowed to see. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking, and there are no attendance records, performance evaluations or periodic peer reviews required for renewal. In other words, you can't be excommunicated or flunk out even if you try.

Perhaps the most significant difference of all is that no one in AA, individually or collectively, has the authority to throw anybody else out. No mucky-muck from the central office in New York can walk into a local group, pull rank and start bossing people around. If there is or has ever been a durable organization where that sort of anarchy is actually spelled out in its articles of incorporation, I've sure as heck never heard of it.

That's not to say that mini-hierarchies and authoritarian cliques complete with their own self-serving dogmas & doctrines don't spring up on websites, in local groups and in the parking lots-- I've seen quite a few in my time. But thanks to our Traditions, these never take hold in the wider fellowship because there are simply no administrative offices, teaching accreditation curricula or positions of authority available in AA's wider, overall structure. In other words, if you don't like the way things are done in one group, try another. But outside of those individual groups there are no regional, state or national tribunals for in-house redress of grievances and the dispensation of justice.

Those who require the protective mantle of an official creed, a supervisory chain of command and a higher court of appeals are simply out of luck here. Some may see that as a structural weakness, but many of us say it's quite possibly our greatest source of vitality because it forces us to get along with other people as equals and without the artificial protection afforded by institutional role-playing.

I stress that because the ability to just let other people be themselves in a democratic give-and-take setting needed to survive in AA is a painfully learned social skill for most of us. We can piss and moan and tattle our tales, but there's nobody up in the executive suite who will listen or give a hoot. The bottom line is that those who can't stand the heat generated by the degree of social friction that automatically ensues in such a power vacuum are probably better off staying out of the kitchen. That much democracy isn't for everyone.

You look familiar. You've been here before?

Its a fine line. I want to be scared of a relapse. That fear has kept me from a first drink 3k times. Probably more in the first few months.
On the other hand, I know I'd be welcomed back. My HG has welcomed chronic relapsers and everything in between.

relapse simply is a planned event...people simply stop doing things they had been doing to stay sober...and I am not going to list them because some here do none of these I would list from my point of view as I am an AA member....but it is usually never that someone slipped a shot of rum into your coke at the party and suddenly the craving came back roaring to life like a lion...it is more they stopped prayers or calls or meetings or all of the above...then they stopped keeping the plug in the jug...

ok I lied I listed those things I said I would not list...LOL

but relapse is a planned event

And my refiner is always at work turning up the heat of the fire to just the exact temperature till the impurities work their way up and burn off, then the dross is wiped away. Always is he careful never to let the fire get to hot for my afflictions are never more than I can bare. He`s always in control of the process which continues for a life time. There is a purpose for the final product..He will see to it that my experience can and will benefit others. How sweet it is...
Yep, "The Refiners Fire"

...Gnon