I am not surprised by this - it happens. I am not about to give you my opinion on your situation here - I don't know the whole story nor you nor your sponsor.

Remember that sponsors are un-waged un-professionals, their experience, guidance and time (free of charge) is what they have to offer.

You also should be aware that there are many people still sick in the fellowship - they talk the talk but do they walk the walk? Time dry/sober is not the greatest indicator of quality of sobriety. It is the quality of their sobriety, what they communicate in their shares and general disposition that count the most.

Beware people who have control issues as one of their major character defects but at the same time consider what you may be tempted to use as "justified" excuses for yourself.

I would ask you to consider a few questions here:

Why did you choose that particular sponsor - did she have the kind of happy sobriety you wanted for yourself?

Did you have a clear and unambiguous ground rule session with this sponsor at the start of this agreement? Did you agree to do everything your sponsor suggested, for example?

Looking back over my chequered past in AA, I went through a couple of sponsors before I found the one who had the quality of sobriety and the real answer (the Big Book way) for me. Today I know the "fault" was on both sides but predominantly mine in those failed relationships.

A big common misconception in early sobriety is to expect the sponsor to do the work for us. Your sponsor is only a guide, some may come across a bit tough but it is mostly only with your interests at heart - to get you committed and into action.

A lot of sponsors take the view that if you don't seem willing to go to any lengths for your sobriety then they won't be wasting any more time on you when they could be helping another alcoholic. The message they are giving in this circumstance is "Come back when you are truly ready." People are people and can sometimes be a bit extreme in this regard. The majority truly take this stance for your own good - they were once in your shoes and have the benefit of experience.

Like me, you are going to have to make an honest assessment and trust your gut feeling whilst ask God to show you His will for you in your prayers.

In my experience, misunderstandings come down to lack of good communication.

Sometimes people just don't click though. Don't think for her, look at yourself and move on.

Personally I'd never dump a protege for not going to a meeting, I always put the onus on them to get to meetings themselves (unless they genuinely need help to get to them). The work we do is often outside meeting time anyway. Perhaps something else is going on then?

Good morning DHG. I'm sorry that you're hurting, you sound very frustrated. One thing I noticed is "was willing to talk about it but chose to text during our entire session instead". Does this mean that you were texting during your session or your sponsor was texting?

Regardless of which one of you was texting, I view that as a sign of disinterest. Whether it's a meeting, or church or during a conversation...if you are texting, it's not paying attention & a sign that there is something else more important than what is happening at that moment.

If it was you, she may have taken that as your not paying attention and not being willing to go to any lengths if you can't stop texting long enough to listen.

If I misunderstood, I sincerely apologize. That's just how I read your post. I went to meetings for a long time and just stared at the clock, it wasn't until I started giving my full attention to what was being said that I started to grow & learn.

Unfortunately, it may be hard to find the perfect fit when looking for a sponsor. Sometimes you outgrow one and move to another, or the sponsor decides someone else may be better for you (and as stated here...sometimes they are not in a good place either.) I learned to be more selective starting off by choosing a sponsor who had what I wanted, someone who had worked the twelves steps, someone who had good experience, strength and hope to share in meetings, etc. Best of luck, this is a program of action, get out there find the right one, clear the air right up front of what the expectations of each other are, call them everyday at first and hopefully it will blossom from there.

Who knows why...... but what's important is that you move on and refrain from allowing this/her to be the focal point instead of your program. Don't let this give you a negative attitude. Keep your head held high and pray for the right woman to replace your ex sponsor. It'll all work out. Don't dare drink over such a silly thing! Peace!

What a great lesson you have been given hope you are smart enough to realise it.

Are you still sober after they dumped you? Have you picked up a drink over this?

If not guess it was not your sponsor that was keeping you sober wonder what is??