TRy drinking 1-2 drinks every other day for a month. See how it goes. Can you stick to it or do you crave more after one or two and on your day off?

DO this for a month and see if it is comfortable for you.

For me controlled drink/using was really problematic. It was really hard and I felt even worse than I was drinking the way I wanted to. I think it's because it was a half measure, I wanted to change my life but wasn't willing to fully commit to it.

For me attempts at moderation were futile. They'd work initially but it was never long until I was right back where I started. I think part of the problem was that I was trying to change, but not getting rid of the behavior, or trying to work a program.

That being said, I also think that choosing this way of life is hard, and that it takes what it takes to get us here. I know I wouldn't be sober now if I hadn't tried to moderate and then watched it not work every time.

good luck =) hope that's helpful.

Many alkies have tried it, but they all failed.

When I joined AA my plan was to get my life in order and when everything had smoothed out - then I could return to normal drinking. I tried that for 4 years and it only got worse.

A friend of mine in West LA used to say that when a cucumber turns into a pickle it never turns back into a cucumber. ie - once you are an alcoholic - there is not turning back.

Too many people have died trying to control their drinking.

We have an allergic reaction to alcohol and one drink sets it up - and we crave more. It is what it is. If you have tried AA - please get a Big Book and read Chapter 3. It talks about trying to drink normally and the extents we will go to to tell ourselves we are not alcoholics.

Good luck - I hope you find your way.

Thanks to all of you for taking the time to reply. I don't know where I am on the spectrum. I used to drink socially (20 years) and the last 2 have become daily. Something changed. Something needs to be addressed I just don't know what it is. I have OCD, this is everpresent. But I dont' want to keep using it as an excuse even though I think it did start me on this path. I want to be normal again, though I hate that word. What is normal anyway? Not dirinking everyday that's for sure!

Thank you cabledude. So it is only online? Sorry I am new to this.

Cabledude, I always enjoy your posts. You have a way with words... :)

bethmach, I don't have experience with that particular group, and I think Cabledude boils it down pretty well... but I did go through the process of making rules and regulations for my drinking, trying to drink like a "normie"... I remember at one point my rule was, "No drinking until the kids are tucked in," which meant, oh help me, bedtime kept getting set further and further back until I was practically grabbing them off the bus, throwing them in their jammies, and tucking them in bed with a dinner tray... It was bad. Or my other rule, "No drinking until the weekend" Well, you can imagine, that made for a mighty fine Monday through Friday!!! And then the weekend would be a series of unfortunate events and other obliterations..

Normies do not have rules for their drinking, measurements, special times and places... they don't think about it, worry about it, or stress over it.

This is just my opinion, but knowing what I know now, alcohol use/abuse is not on a continuim, or spectrum. There are definite markers, delinations? Is that the term?

I wish you luck in your quest to hold on to your 1-2 drinks. I wasn't able to do it. The good news is, though, Beth, the good news is, I'm not missing anything, and the life I've exchanged for those drinks is richer, and more wonder-filled than any buzz I ever had while boozing. I hope you find that, whether it's success as a social drinker, or abstinence, or AA, or MM, whatever, I hope you find it...

This is such a great thread. I know that when I first decided to 'do something' about my drinking, moderation and normal social drinking were my goals. Gave that a try for a summer, but somehow, the pressure of it just made things worse. I was fortunate to have started with a counselor who taught me about alcoholism and steered me toward AA. I'm so thankful (and still amazed) that I listened. It's good to be sober.

Don't know if this was on the website that cabledude suggested, but the founder of MM did time for death by auto.....she killed someone while driving in a blackout.

To each their own, maybe it will work for you....it wouldn't work for me.

I wish you the best, whatever you decide to do.

Moderation management is a scam, it doesn't work.

Whenever I hear about MM, I am reminded of the old alcoholic's adage.

"When I controlled my drink, I couldn't enjoy it; When I enjoyed my drink, I couldn't control it."

So drinking for this alcoholic pretty much sucks all the way around.

Bethmach. I think you don't understand alcoholism. Alcoholism is like an allergy. Once that allergy has developed there is no cure, Look at it like this,for simplicity sake. Consider yourself a cucumber. Now consider that cucumber turning into a pickle. There is no way to go back to being a cucumber.If management is what you seek you really need to look at the things that you can control.Alcohol is not one of them. The only thing we truly have control over is our actions. We don't even have control over our thoughts. our alcoholic thoughts will always be with us, our actions are the only defence we have. We have been brought up to believe that alcohol and a goodtime are one of the same. Nothing could be further from the truth.If alcohol is having a negative effect on your life you really need to consider taking alcohol out of your life.The great obsession of every alcoholic is that someday we would be able to drink like other people. There is a solution. AA would be a start. Since there is no way to resume your drinking sanely please consider a change in your lifestyle. AA offers such a change.

I agree that this is a very good thread and the comments here are spot on. Everyone does indeed have their own experiences and opinions on MM and I will share mine. I am an alcoholic and for all the times I tried in vain to "control" my drinking or "moderate" I failed..
I believe that if you try the 1-2 drink thing and it works out - great. The fact that you are asking questions regarding drinking and alcoholism is also very good. Ask away! Thing is, there are so many "varieties" of drinkers.... some drink daily, only on weekends or special occassions, it's not always the amount or frequency of the drink, it's what happens as a result of the drinking. How is it affecting your life or the life of those around you? Has it become an obsession in that you think of when and how you are going to get the next drink? Do you white knuckle it till 5:00 and then have your coctail?
I certainly am no expert on the subject but I do know for me that I am grateful to be sober and have been truely amazed at how diffferent my life is today.. good luck and let us know how you do!

Hello BM

Initially what you take from these reply's may help but you will do what you are going to do anyway. So if you are going to try MM than do it and if it works for you all is good .

But if it doesn't don't give up there may be other alternatives like AA. In any case keep posting and let us know how things went and how you are.

I am an alcoholic and MM would defiantly not work for me though I have tried to drink in moderation. Only drinking on days that ended in Y . Or only drinking on days that started with T Tuesday ,Thursday, Today ,Tomorrow. I also tried only drinking four times a year. Summer Winter Autumn and Spring. To witch none worked.

You ask what normal was and as far as Normal goes I was told it is a setting on a washing machine.

I pray you find the answers for you.

God Bless...


Lionel.

I sobered up in 1982. MM wasn't thought of at that time or I would have tried it. ANYTHING but giving up drinking. Couldn't imagine giving it up, until I actually did. I tried one easier softer way by having sober nights and then rewarding myself by getting totally "lost" the next night as a reward lol. Can you imagine? Almost killing myself with alcohol poisoning as a reward for not drinking the night before!!

I suffer from "more". If 1 makes me feel good, then 1000 will be just that much better! I might be able to plug the jug here and there, but the danger is the fact that one day I won't be able to stop. That's when I'm out drunk driving and killing people. I'm better off not testing moderation, and so are the innocent people sharing the road with me. God bless.