i have had these experiences. we were both newly sober and it didnt work. neither one of us felt comfortable to lay what we needed out on th etable..and if we did , the other would think it was directed at them...led to both of us drinking again...

In A.A. This is the time to be honest no matter what. If you feel you want to be healthier, try to forget him in meetings since they are for you. Alcoholism has away of creating masks for us. Now is the time to be true to yourself. If anyone has a problem with your honesty that is their problem not your. Never leave a meeting due to anyone else. The primary purpose is to stay sober, and help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety. Keep coming back.

i've heard and seen that that does not work at all, you need to feel free to share without your significant other taking it to heart and causing problems. find you're own meetings, you will be much happier.I would never tend the same meetings as my gf unless its a speaker meeting. take care.

He might be more afraid than you, who got there first, at least you can now stand up for your side of things, if you feel you need to.

However if there are other meetings you could go to, then maybe you should try them.

But don't let him drive you out and back to drink.

Good luck and stay with it

It has been good for me to attend different meetings from him. I am fortunate I am able to. I appreciate all the feedback, thank you.

I'm there w/ ya right now. I'm going through the same but my foundation is at the clubhouse we both attend and I'll say this... I earned my seat at those meetings and no one I mean no one will drive me away. I don't care how much it hurts right now... what doesn't kill me will make me stronger is my motto. No one chased me away from my drink so no one will chase me away from the clubhouse or the certain meetings (homegroup) and fellowship that saved my life. That's my experience...

This also depends on what one uses meetings for. Some of us share our exp strength and hope. We talk about the solution and how it is applied in all our affairs. So hence if sharing is done this way than i havent bought up any problems I have had till i found a solution that has solved the problem. Some think about what they can bring to a AA meeting others go to see what they can get or take. If one is still in the taking then one is still in a mode of selfishness.

yes Phil since that selfishness is part of the alcoholics character defect...umless you havent spotted it yet...that the reason its not a good idea for mates to attend meetings together is because there just may be a huge fight afterwards because of that character defect? and do you think that maybe since she had to even ask this question that she may be a new comer along with her mate? do you really think that they are going to know what the hell you just said or have any idea how to do what you just said? when me and my BF were new to AA we would both attend and then fight like crazy afterwards because we were still too insecure to hear that from the other ones mouth. its ok to hear it from a coomplete stranger but not each other, not new in recovery.

I was told simply this simple thing. If you are married, dating, or sleeping with another alcoholic and you both are in recovery, then you should attend at least one or two meeting separately away from each other. when attending together, keep your sharing to your experience, strength, and hope. I was in a relationship and only a few days sober when told this.

I am nearly 3 years clean and sober and was dating someone with almost as much time clean and sober as me. It is hard to have a breakup and some of you may understand that distance feels necessary to heal until I am "over him" I don't want to be in a place where he is and I'm distracted by our failed relationship so I would be prevented from being of much usefulness to the newcomer. It is much easier for me to go to other meetings. My experience only. I was bringing this up to find out what others have been suggested about attending meetings with their mate (it was suggested to me to attend seperate meetings.) Thanks for your responses.