Alcoholism Support Group

Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.

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darkhairedgirl1 04/15/2009

I was at a candlelight meeting the other night where a girl who has about a year or something under her belt, and is known there as an abrasive outspoken type, proclaimed that anyone who attends 3 meetings in a day is a pathetic loser and is using AA as a crutch. She went further to say that she has a "real life" outside of AA which is, I guess, her idea of normal social fulfillment.

I haven't let this rent too much space in my head BUT...it does beg the question: Is it pathetic to center a significant portion of your social life to the fellowship? When I first started going to meetings, I knew I HAD to be there. After a few weeks, I realized I SHOULD be there. Then one day, I knew I WANT to be there. I enjoy my meetings, they fill me up, I like the hugs now, and I especially like having a safe place to express myself amongst people who share a common problem and hence they understand where I'm coming from most of the time.

deleted_user 04/16/2009

Sure don't sound like she has humility to me.

WhooHoo 04/16/2009

Sheesh! There have been days I've gone to 4 meetings in one day.
I guess I'm a super-duper, sober, pathetic, loser person.
Oh well...at least I'm alive to proclaim it.

darkhairedgirl1 04/17/2009

I have enjoyed the varying perspectives on this thread and really, really appreciate each of you taking the time out of your day to give me your thoughts on it. Nemo, I'll have to re-read yours a few more times, though. lol Another sponsor told me this, "Well, is it more pathetic to go to a few meetings a day or to be a fallen down drunk?" It's amazing how sometimes fewer words drive the truest message. Thank you all again.

deleted_user 04/17/2009

It's nice when you start to think about your group as a place where you want to go and be helpful. There are people in my group that go there every day just to make sure things are running well, nothing broken, things are clean, no major incidents. They talk to others and maybe stay for a meeting then leave and come back the next day.

People who come to more than a meeting a day are usually in their first few years of sobriety and feel secure in what they are doing.

I have heard of a few people that spend more time at meetings than at home and have suffered the loss of family as a result. A person should watch out for this and should find a balance of home and AA so as not to create resentment at home. One man in my group lost his family as a result of making AA his very high priority to the neglect of his family. That was 25 years ago and has just, in the past 2 years reconciled with his family. This is a rare situation though.

There are a few people in my group who still go to many meetings a day because they don't have family, like the connection to AA, and like the free coffee in our group (although it's not really free).

Finally, the woman in your group who is strongly against others going to so many meetings is likely taking someone else's inventory and can't see her own problem with the person. You should ask her how it affects her? (Step 4 question)

deleted_user 04/17/2009

I was so excited how I felt that I wanted to pass it on to anyone and everyone who would listen. When you walk your talk, it helps others to see what G-d and the program has done for you. Actions speak louder than words. I only attend one meeting a week and sometimes feel guilty I do not spend more time in the rooms trying to pass on the message of hope that there is a cure to our selfishness. I think the goal should be not to have to go to meetings. However, sitting home watching the tube does not help you and it surly does not help anyone else. That is our job. To spread the message and help others. It does not have to be all you do but it should be part of what you are all about. (MY OPINION)
Shawn

gjm 04/17/2009

Ditto HC.
Couldn't have said it better.

deleted_user 04/17/2009

"People who aren't like me are pathetic losers" - Junior High School all over again. I worked for a guy that had been sober for 20 years and attended meetings avery day, rain or shine, home or travelling.
As soon as you step foot in the door your pathetic loserdom starts to fall away, and you become a child of God again: Living, loving, serving others and not just yourself. Yes, you're a pathetic loser alright. Thank you for discovering it!

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