Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
Ok! So if you're not familiar, "Loudermilk" is a series about a recovering alcoholic on Prime. I was dazzled to see season 3 was finally released and I am already through most of it.
I will say that I have caught a few of " Mom" with Anna Faris and Allison Janney, which also anchors it's characters around living life after addiction, and enjoyed it. Somehow the sardonic vibe of Ron Livinston, as Loudermilk, draws me in more. I am a girl who broods and attracts other brooders, which may be why i know various Russians and Slavs. It may be mysterious and even sexy to date a deep brooder in your 20s, but that shit will break you in your 40s.
I digress.
As a person who knows one of my triggers is alcohol on tv, it is refreshing to find a show with some honesty and perspective of what it's like to battle your own self destructive vices on a blasé, daily basis. Clearly the show is meant to entertain, but many of the themes ring true to my situation.
One way i identify with Loudermilk is in the belief that everyone is straight dumb. Like, we are all surrounded by idiots? How can i deal with this shit sober??
Stupidity is a trigger for me. The endless inane antics of people without a brain make me feel like God's appointed babysitter. Am I responsible if they nuke themselves? Should men be given such disproportionate power to swing their dicks in apocalyptic mayhem? Fuck no. Not that the show is about that platform specifically, just my own nihilism peaking through.
Nihilism: that festering darkness that will eat you up when you think you "have a handle on it".
So when I arrive at this bittersweet place, that there are no more seasons in the queue, what do i do?
I can't watch assholes getting drunk on talk shows. I can't watch the fetching dinner party scene where a perfect table is set and let's take this wine outside to the gazebo or whatever. I can't dance around in this hazy zone of "hard seltzer" won't hurt anything. Damn it I discovered Founder's made a strawberry one with fresh fruit that omg..where have you been all my life? I will run away with you.
Then.. REALITY. STUPID.
REALITY.
There it is: my mind has gone soap opera soft. My brain squeezing joy like water from stone.. I can't take the toxicity!!
I love what you do but you know that you're toxic.
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check out that smoke ring. It tasted really good. I smothered it with Maulls BBQ sauce which is Local to St. Louis and one of the best I ever had.....
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I was recently separated from my wife of 33 years and it's complicated. Anyway I rented a room about 15 minutes away and I see my kids about once a week. I see the people who own the house I live in once in a while but other than that I stay in my room where I do my cooking, wash dishes in the shower, read, color, and sleep. I get out at least once a day. I grocery shop and I attend 2 meetings...
God Bless
I spend more money than that on booze in one day.
Now my mind is healing and expanding. In the evening I relax watching Amazon Prime. Yesterday I discovered Loudermilk. I watched the first chapter in season 1. I like it.