You don't have to say one single word at an AA meeting. Just walk through the door, find a chair, sit, and listen. That's all you have to do and if you are like me, you will leave that meeting a changed person!

Alcoholism is a symptom of deeper emotional issues. I drank to numb the pain from a failing marriage, and from a job I hated. I drank because I wanted to hide from all the shame and guilt I was holding onto. I drank because I hated myself and I hated my life. I drank because I drank!

It ended up one day when I hit rock bottom. Long story short, the cop gave me a choice of jail or detox so I picked detox. I was there for 4 days. From detox, I went through an outpatient treatment program that lasted for 3 weeks. While in the IOP, I was treated for depression and ptsd which triggered my drinking. From there I went into group counseling where I learned what my triggers were and how to deal with them. Throughout all the treatment I had, regular attendance at AA meetings were a requirement.

9 years ago, I had a choice to make. I had to be willing to do everything it took to learn how to live a happy sober life. Was I scared? I was terrified! But I also knew that anything less would result in death like many I knew including my mother who died young from alcoholic liver sirosis.

There is a better way and I am living proof. In fact, many who reply in this group have been in your shoes! I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

God Bless

I have a lot to live for, i have a great family, a great boyfriend who i hope to marry. We already bought a house i should be happy, i have a lot but nothing seems to make me happy but alcohol, i dont understand but i do want to get better. I need to find meetings.

Thanks for your reply it really helped me

You don't have to share your story at an AA meeting, that would be a nice first step in order to get over your problem.

I hope you can make it Krissydo59, You have a lot of reasons to live for! dont let alcohol ruin your future.

Ty Elisa. Its such a long day without it but im hanging on.

Hello Kissydo59,

One of the biggest enemies of the alcoholic is ignorance and very few know the reasons why they drink like they do. Therefore, a good starting point is to educate yourself about alcoholism. I found that going to an AA meeting and learning for the first time why I kept drinking when I had decided to quit and why I always drank way more than other people, brought about an immediate change and I could suddenly do what had been impossible before. Pick a quiet hour and have a look at the video at the link below and it will open your eyes to many things you do not know about alcoholism.

I was scared too about going to an AA meeting – in fact, I experienced a whole range of emotions and could not say anything but to mutter my name. However, I left that meeting with a great sense of freedom and could not wait to go to the next one.

The first thing that I found attractive about AA is that there are no rules and no bosses. Nobody can tell you to do anything and you can come and go as you please. This puts the responsibility on yourself if you want to get sober and recover from alcoholism. However, you will never have to walk alone and AA members will offer you great support. Try it for a while and see how you get on. If you are nervous, you could call AA General Service Office and they may get a female member to meet with you and bring you to a meeting.

Now that you have admitted that you have a problem, keep the momentum going by taking the next step.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CMC62Y_5dyE

What you'll find at an AA meeting are people who have been in your shoes. People that had boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands and wives, careers and families and they didn't want to lose it all.

You don't need to say anything except your name. Just listen to their stories of how it got better!

Please read my story " Alcohol killed my Father this June/17" God will help you. I pray for all of you! I had enough!

Been through detox was scared by aa and my outpatient was scheduled three weeks out i think ill give aa a try long as i dont have to talk right away

Krissydo59, thank you for your honesty and your real thoughts here. I think we often get caught in the life of the devil thinking that we’re alone in this and we go through a downward spiral in our minds. Yes, we could have done x, y, z. But the reality is that you are still living and breathing yeah? I will encourage you to not lose hope! There are many people here who support you, love you and going through this together with you! Many of us have the same t-shirt, “been-there-done-that” and came out the other side.

It seems like you have considered it but it has been difficult. I understand where you are coming from. The only thing I will say is that, going to it and stepping out by faith is absolutely worth it.

Praying for you.

I was scared to death when I decided to turn my life around. I only knew alcohol as a way to cope. It was how I was raised. I hard day, Drink! I day to celebrate, Drink! I'm not going to tell you that it is easy or that it is the hardest thing I have ever done. With the right people around through you can do it. I'm 2 years sober and I have no friends due to the fact that I was in with the wrong crowd but I am starting over and I have a boyfriend who drinks occasionally which doesn't bother me that much anymore. I still think about it and wonder about it and that is not bad nor will it go away. It is my action that count. The other day this new couple I have started hanging out with told me how proud they were that I had so much control! How empowering those words can be! I wasn't called lame or questioned. I still had a good time and everyone loves me because I'm the best DD! :) there are so many positives and you can still be silly, happy, and fun! You just gotta try*