Get honest! Your friends will understand why it is difficult for you to be in drinking situations right now.

Stop making up excuses and lying. Tell your friends that you have a problem and you are not drinking anymore. You need to get comfortable in your sobriety before you can hang out and when it is time to hang out again it will have to be an activity that does not involve alcohol. Your true friends will stick with you and those that don't are not really your friends.
You really need to make some new sober friends and the best place to do that is by going to AA.
You are going to have a very difficult time staying sober if you continue to hang on to all your old ways. You need to change your play things, your play places, and your play mates. You also need to change the way you think because your mind in it's present condition will keep you drunk or miserable when sober.

yeah a tough one at first....i know a sponsor i had that sent me assignments, in one of them, it asked Do I really know i am an alcoholic? Honestly, that was the first time in my in and out days of wanting recovery..that i realized that i had to be honest with that question. I know for me it was easier to tell my friends at the time that i didn't drink anymore.. then i got mostly new friends. Sometimes it is good to be alone...to help the journey of finding out who you are....yet don't hide away because you don't want to drink... find new things to do.. or at least know in your mind that you have that option.....good luck

Sobriety is number 1 in my life and I have advised my friends of that. Some dont call now but that is there choice. Some just accept I am now busy staying sober (with my meetings, sponsor, etc). The later ones, we speak on the phone so I am not being a bad friend. You dont have to see people f2f to be a good friend.

I liked GNRs reply to your posting yesterday....

'Some of us need extra help, to get ourselves right. It always seems to me that your brain is all over the place.
Maybe it's time to make a decision?????'

Why not just get honest? Give yourself some breathing space, sobriety does not have to be this hard.....keep it simple Ashley :)

Hi Ash.

The good thing about being honest with people .you don't have to remember what you said to them. I was an habitual lair and most of the time i didn't even know if i was lying or not.No good.

I have found in recovery . People that matter don't mind and that people who mind don't matter. It's true.

I don't walk a round with a big A stamped on my forehead for the world to see ,but if i am ask why i don't drink I am able to be truthful about it .There hasn't been to many asking though.

If you have one or two good friends the you are rich. and I am sure they will understand.There's nothing stopping you from going out and having a great time. Just don't drink.

There are vitamins you can take to help with friendship.

the best vitamin to take to make friends is B1. lol.

I still find it hard to be around people but I try and i guess that's what it is all about trying or having a go.

God Bless...

Lionel

If your friends care about you they will not ask you to drink, but you have to trust them enough to tell them that you are an alcoholic.

Isn't it weird that we forget there are so many cool things to do with our friends that don't have anything to do with drinking????

Work the programme, when you recover you will be able to go to places where there is alcohol being served and you will hardly even notice.

I do a pub quiz each Monday with my sponsor, my sister and her friend, they drink alcohol and I kinda don't notice the alcohol (I do notice a drop in their performance as the night goes no though!)

If I keep in fit spiritual condition I never have to fear alcohol ever again! The same thing can be true for you too!

Damn, I didn't mean to imply that my sponsor drinks for heaven sake!!! Honestly, ya have ta be so careful!!! LOL

It is truly amazing how much happiness you are denying yourself by playing these silly alcohlic mind games with yourself. Go to some AA meetings. You will meet people just like yourself. You will be so glad when you have more friends than you ever had before. First things first. You will have to put your sobriety first as mentioned earlier. Do that, and the rest will follow. I was in the same boat as you at first. I just gave the program a chance and it is wonderful now. And no, I am not a koolaid drinker. I was so defensive at first. I thought I was doing all of this on my own. When I finally came around and started doing things with alchies other than meetings, snap!!!! It go so much easier. Many later told me that they were pulling for me. My own family doesnt care half as much as my new group of friends. I am now being invited to bar-b-ques, birthday parties. People want me to go out to eat with them. All I did was give it a chance. I am very fulfilled by this. I still have some old true friends left, but their importance has declined by the fact that we no longer have the drink in common. Some are following me to AA now. Just get honest with yourself and give it a chance. The rewards are worth the risk.

Joe Tex said it all!!!!!!you need AA friends. They will help you become a faithful and TRUE friend

you are doing a great job keeping your sobriety. keep it up. your posts are genuine and you have already found a means to turn them down and not drink by yourself.

Your post inspired me to write tonight.. as for the last few weeks i have been blaiming the sober ppl in my life for my problems when all the while i was putting MYSELF in situations that i knew were not good for me... i was starting to hang out again with some old friends and talking plus getting together with family.. thinking i was ok to do so.. bottom line, i ended up loseing in the end i drank the other night.. cause i started feeling sorry for myself.. cause to me i am not normal,, normal meaning normal like my old friends and family... i am soooo normal with my new family and friends of the fellow ship of AA and i lost touch with my realities of this new journey i embarked without the help of family and those so called close friends some 7months ago... unless you are alcoholic and know you can't drink that and only then i would stay away from slippery places cause it may not get you drinking that night but for me it got me to the point of thinking i can do this again and i did... i stopped being honest about who and what i am... Hi, im Cor I Am an ALcoholic....

If you cannot go out for fear of drinking, then you have not made a decision to never drink again, one day at a time.

Without a commitment to sobriety you are doomed to drink again.

Guru

Ohhh, ash, your such a sweetheart. Don't lie to your friends. I guess this is how you separat the boys from the men & the girls from the women. Anyone who is your friend will be there & support your decesion for your healh. Look at it this way, if I were diabetic & din'nt want anyone to know, would I risk going without my insulin kit or just not test my glycemic numbers because fear of someone not being my friend anymore? No , not a chance. You'll be pleasantly suprised at the people who love & support you & are/still your friends. Sometimes the need to please everyone is too great. Also you have a great opportunity to meet new friends , who are sober . Share some of that sunlight, struggles & and hope with others who feel just like you. Your a sweetie, always be true to yourself.

Also Ash, one of the things my sponser use to say to me was , "never appoligise for saving your life." Alcoholism is not about a bad/good morility issuse. It's an illness & a disease. Being healthy is the good life. Working steps (with aa) also helped me to understand setting healthy boundries and being "okay" with taking car of myself. I hoped I helpd in some small way. Godd luck sweet pea.:)

Ashely,

Seems to me that you understand very much what it is that you are doing. Thanks for sharing and getting it out here. I have to get things out into the open. By doing this I prevent isolation. I hang around people that do not drink, or they are in recovery. I still have a great time but I "look" for ways to participate and become a better individual.

Real friends will understand when you tell them what is going on. If they do not they were never real friends anyway -- let em go.
Lying, beating around the bush, and finding excuses are relapse behaviors for me. I try real hard not to get involved with those.

The alcoholic mind is something else and it will whip your butt if it gets a chance. The only way for me to bring it under subjection is to keep myself planted amongst "sober minded" individuals. People that are involved in a program of recovery. I believe with all of my heart that God keeps me sober, however he requires me to take part in my recovery. Going to meetings and surrounding myself with people who are working a program keeps my alcoholic mind in check.

We have to remember that our addiction is outside doing push ups. Don't BS yourself. Work the program. It will only work; if you work it.