The steps will minimize the negative reactions to guaranteed stress trying to earn a living in an unstable, often wrong, world.

I have worked in a customer service industry before, and also in life I have been terrified by unjust, immature, and irrational demands, all while having to follow an equally ridiculous agenda of "the customer is always right." However, with the right attitude, I can gain the acceptance that I need to deal with others, when providing unnecessary stress in my life, and then my perception shifts in where I see for one I am far more mature and responsible than their demands or actions, and for two, it give me an opportunity to help people less fortunate than I.

Most stress comes from built up belief systems that might be wrong, fears that haven't been analyzed or asked to be removed, and the insistence that we earn, instead of rest. One of my biggest character flaws is I choose earning, over resting, without a doubt every time. My ego says "we need more money", then I use my selfish willpower to accumulate, using pride to support that after, thinking I am hot shit because I earned a few more dollars than the next man, but then I haven't the ability to smash the delusion that all the earning made me an exhausted, irritated, joyless, asshole who nobody wants his money anyway! So is all the earning going to be worth it in the long run? It might stave off eviction, or buy a new car, but is it going to be the necessary path to not die from alcoholism knowing I have an illness that points me in the direction of drinking each day without help?

No it doesn't. If you are working so much, and so stressed out you need alcohol to stop the madness at the end of the night, try something different, try a prayer, try messaging me, try messaging a friend who also has to end his day in oblivion. I don't have to do that anymore, and I still experience the same world I thought made me drink so much. It is still a difficult world to get peace from, and I would go so far to say that ideal is more frustrating than realistic, for some reason, whenever I accept that "life just sucks sometimes" it usually gets better quickly for a reason I can't answer, and I see that my ego is directing the show and not allowing, or "cockblocking" my real spirit and character from experiencing a higher state of consciousness.

Hello timoA,

For me, the experience that comes with age has been a great teacher. The Serenity Prayer sums it up very well.

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change”.

For many years I concerned myself with world issues such as war and famine, things that are completely outside of my control. I learned to let go of those things but there are other, less obvious issues at a more personal level where people tend to try and exert control and it is by breaking free from that need to be in control that I have found great freedom.

“Courage to change the things I can”.

Overcoming fear in its many guises has enabled me to apply whatever talents I may have in trying to make a difference, while being very much aware of the dangers of falling into the ‘control’ trap.

“And the wisdom to know the difference”.

I believe that everything that we believe is relative and open to question. Sometimes we are inclined to believe that we are right about all matters and know all that there is to know. Trying to keep an open mind has revealed a whole new world.

On the question of stress and drinking, I would urge you to dig deeper. While moderate alcohol consumption does seem to relieve stress, the danger is that the mind learns and there is a gradual change, where drinking becomes the answer in dealing with more and more issues. Eventually, drinking becomes an obsession and instead of being used to help solve problems such as stress, new problems will be manufactured in order to justify taking that next drink.

Yes. I had a zillion reasons to drink. From childhood abuse, to being the "thing" that "cured" my eating disorder (yes, I was that sick) to the stresses of a big career, constant travel, public speaking, to a husband who didnt understand, to toddler twins, to a new born and toddler twins *and* all that other stuff. I could pile on the "reasons" I drank. My solution to all of it, and when I was being honest, to the highs too was to drink. I had ONE playbook -- booze.
I needed lots of help to learn to live sober and I'm still learning. I need a sponsor, I needed other drunks I could call and talk to about the little "stuff," I needed a program, 12 steps, a way of life, meetings, etc. So there is no "one" thing that helped me deal without booze, it was a total sea change in my life. I've been sober since March 28th 2011 and I'm still on a learning curve:-) its not easy -- but its a cake walk compared to the hell of not being able to stop drinking.

Somehow early I became to rely on alcohol to cope. It was the great equalizer. I would give , give, and give to others ( because Im very concerned about others ) until there was nothing left for me.

It took stepping back and setting some boundries. I learned to not over extend myself. I learned to not get overwhelmed and just take on what I can handle.

Now I just dont take that first one and my life/ health / and happiness are incredible. It took relearning many coping skills, and I just couldnt learn what I didnt know. I had to get help from other alcoholics in the rooms.

I was fiercely independent, and ultimately that is why I used booze so much. I didnt have to tell it my feelings, they just were removed. But thing was they were back in the morning along with that shame, regret, and remorse that plagued me,

Its not the booze its the problems the booze is used to solve. Fix those and no need for the drug to dull me and keep me from greatness.

1is2many