Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
Ok, None of us like the term alcoholic or addict but I think that we all agree that people can and do become alcohol dependent, right?
Ive been writing about this quite a bit lately because it really seems to be in vogue right now. The really popular notion right now is that just about everyone who was ever alcohol dependent, can and does return to responsible, mature and moderate drinking. Whether or not its true, the question really is, for some of us, is it worth it? For many like myself, the answer is an unequivocal NO and Ill tell you why shortly. I mean, I believe in freewill and choice so I think that ultimately anyone can do whatever they are determined to do but that doesnt necessarily mean its the smart choice.
But first, where did this unquestioned revelation come from? It came from a survey conducted in 1992 by the National Institute on Drug Abuse and Alcoholism. Im not a big fan of surveys, especially those conducted by the U.S. Government but I digress. It was pretty extensive but I have ONE major problem with this one;
It really comes down to who you classify as an alcoholic and what the criteria is for that designation. In this case, they use the American Psychiatric Associations definition from their diagnostic manual (DSM-IV). This definition holds that an alcoholic is anyone who suffered from chronic alcohol-related problems (family, legal, work and health-including increasing use and withdrawal) that they were unable to curtail.
OK fine, thats not a bad definition except is doesnt address for HOW LONG these people had these problems and I think that is a HUGE factor in determining ones ability to moderate down the line. Also, the 4500 people in this survey who they felt fit this criteria merely had to do so at some point in their lives. Again, when and for how long?
Why does it matter? Well for one, I think that someone who maybe hit a rough patch in their lives for say a year or two but then figures out the underlying causes or issues that caused them to self-medicate or become dependent, is going to have a much easier time moderating then someone who had issues for say a decade or longer.
OK, now the even more important factor, in my opinion, is in determining why those people came to be dependent in the first place. Again, if its a situation where over time ones drinking went from just being social to out of hand but there were no other underlying issues, learning some discipline and moderation skills is probably quite doable.
Now let me tell you about the people for whom trying to moderate is probably just not WORTH it.
Most people start drinking why? Well because getting buzzed feels good, period. The reasons why people become dependent vary like crazy but there are good number of people who end up becoming dependent because the alcohol does a damn good job of reducing social anxiety, stress or just anxiety in general.
Looking back at my life, I discovered that this was undoubtedly the case for me. So while I think that I probably COULD moderate at this point if I really wanted to I think that eventually it could very easily send me back to dependent use.
Why? Because when I drank, I drank to get buzzed, to get drunk. There was no point in having 2, 3 or even 4 drinks because for me, that wasnt the point and it never would be. Its not like I miss the taste that damned much. So in order for me to drink moderately, I would have to pace myself, count and all that without receiving the benefit of getting drunk which is why I drank. The whole process of thinking; Ok, Ive already had 2, now I only get 1 more, maybe 2, or..You see where that would be going? It would cause anxiety and stress which is the main reason I became dependent in the first place!!!!!!
So, thats why I dont think moderation is a good idea or worth even trying for more than just a few of us who were alcohol dependent for a LONG time.
And heres the kicker for meI dont need it anymore. Ive learned how to do life without self-medicating. Yes, even though Ive uncovered, addressed and overcome what I believe were my underlying issues, it wouldnt be worth the ANXIETY and STRESS that trying to moderate would inflict on me. I now KNOW ME.
So before you decide that you can or should moderate, I hope that you too KNOW you!
To thy own self be true and whatever path you choose, may you find success, contentment and hopefully happiness.
Peace out,
Rolf
Ive been writing about this quite a bit lately because it really seems to be in vogue right now. The really popular notion right now is that just about everyone who was ever alcohol dependent, can and does return to responsible, mature and moderate drinking. Whether or not its true, the question really is, for some of us, is it worth it? For many like myself, the answer is an unequivocal NO and Ill tell you why shortly. I mean, I believe in freewill and choice so I think that ultimately anyone can do whatever they are determined to do but that doesnt necessarily mean its the smart choice.
But first, where did this unquestioned revelation come from? It came from a survey conducted in 1992 by the National Institute on Drug Abuse and Alcoholism. Im not a big fan of surveys, especially those conducted by the U.S. Government but I digress. It was pretty extensive but I have ONE major problem with this one;
It really comes down to who you classify as an alcoholic and what the criteria is for that designation. In this case, they use the American Psychiatric Associations definition from their diagnostic manual (DSM-IV). This definition holds that an alcoholic is anyone who suffered from chronic alcohol-related problems (family, legal, work and health-including increasing use and withdrawal) that they were unable to curtail.
OK fine, thats not a bad definition except is doesnt address for HOW LONG these people had these problems and I think that is a HUGE factor in determining ones ability to moderate down the line. Also, the 4500 people in this survey who they felt fit this criteria merely had to do so at some point in their lives. Again, when and for how long?
Why does it matter? Well for one, I think that someone who maybe hit a rough patch in their lives for say a year or two but then figures out the underlying causes or issues that caused them to self-medicate or become dependent, is going to have a much easier time moderating then someone who had issues for say a decade or longer.
OK, now the even more important factor, in my opinion, is in determining why those people came to be dependent in the first place. Again, if its a situation where over time ones drinking went from just being social to out of hand but there were no other underlying issues, learning some discipline and moderation skills is probably quite doable.
Now let me tell you about the people for whom trying to moderate is probably just not WORTH it.
Most people start drinking why? Well because getting buzzed feels good, period. The reasons why people become dependent vary like crazy but there are good number of people who end up becoming dependent because the alcohol does a damn good job of reducing social anxiety, stress or just anxiety in general.
Looking back at my life, I discovered that this was undoubtedly the case for me. So while I think that I probably COULD moderate at this point if I really wanted to I think that eventually it could very easily send me back to dependent use.
Why? Because when I drank, I drank to get buzzed, to get drunk. There was no point in having 2, 3 or even 4 drinks because for me, that wasnt the point and it never would be. Its not like I miss the taste that damned much. So in order for me to drink moderately, I would have to pace myself, count and all that without receiving the benefit of getting drunk which is why I drank. The whole process of thinking; Ok, Ive already had 2, now I only get 1 more, maybe 2, or..You see where that would be going? It would cause anxiety and stress which is the main reason I became dependent in the first place!!!!!!
So, thats why I dont think moderation is a good idea or worth even trying for more than just a few of us who were alcohol dependent for a LONG time.
And heres the kicker for meI dont need it anymore. Ive learned how to do life without self-medicating. Yes, even though Ive uncovered, addressed and overcome what I believe were my underlying issues, it wouldnt be worth the ANXIETY and STRESS that trying to moderate would inflict on me. I now KNOW ME.
So before you decide that you can or should moderate, I hope that you too KNOW you!
To thy own self be true and whatever path you choose, may you find success, contentment and hopefully happiness.
Peace out,
Rolf
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Dick Van Dyke’s path to sobriety was a turning point in his life and career. Here’s what happened:How He Got SoberStruggles and Realization: Van Dyke began drinking as a teenager, largely to cope with shyness and social anxiety. Alcohol made him feel more comfortable in social settings, but over time, his drinking spiraled out of control. By his mid-40s, he recognized that he had an addictive...
Slightly longer answer --
There is nothing positive for me about drinking, so whether I could moderate or not (and I seriously doubt I could) does not matter.
I totally agree with you on the amount of time and energy it would take to plan out what is "acceptable" to moderate and I doubt I could do it. "If I can have one drink, then why not two?" would quickly become, "Why not twelve?"
And yeah -- I'd prefer not to have the buzz anymore. I am looking for more clarity of thought these days, not less.
I can understand you posting this - you might look at the broader picture of what's going on in the world of recovery as I do and I get the impression there appears to be a bit of a drive toward saying moderation methods are a good idea in the anti-AA circles. To each his own.
I do not hate or dislike alcohol and would drink again if it was possible to drink like most other people. However, this is not an option for me and I accept that completely and without any great regrets. I have come to realize that while drinking normally could be an enjoyable exercise, I do not need alcohol and there is nothing in my life that drinking would improve.
Speaking only for myself, I found the AA definition of alcoholism was a big help to me and it explained things about my drinking that had me puzzled for a long time. An obsession of the mind drove me to find reasons to justify taking a drink and once I had a drink a craving developed in the body for more alcohol.
I am told that the abnormal reaction to alcohol that produces the craving for more is something that does not go away even if I have been sober for quite a while. I am not qualified to prove or disprove that prognosis but I do believe that it is true. The solution then is a simple one dont take the first drink. This would rule out the possibility of trying to control or moderate my drinking.
If the problem was only in the mind and I did not have that abnormal reaction to alcohol in the body, it is possible that I could drink again but even then it would be like playing Russian roulette. I know from past experience that I would almost certainly manage to have a few enjoyable drinks today and not drink again tomorrow. However, by tomorrow I would be back to fighting against the urge to drink. I would use my determination and willpower to control that urge and it is quite likely that I could go days or even weeks without drinking. However, as sure as night follows day, there would come a time when I would get the thought that a couple of little drinks would do no harm. Before long I would be back to the horrible sickness; the lies and deceit; the hidden bottles; the drink driving; the empty pockets; the loneliness and that terribly empty feeling that comes from active alcoholism.
I think that I will pass on the moderation experiment.
http://www.drinkaware.co.uk/check-the-facts/health-effects-of-alcohol/mental-health/alcohol-dependence
I joined this group last month. At first I wanted to see if I could stop drinking for a while and then see if I could drink moderately. After the first 3 days I realized that I needed and wanted to quit completely. Here is a definition I came across about addiction: (from this website) http://www.addictionsandrecovery.org/ There are different stages of addictions. The late stage is the non-functioning addict. They've lost their job and have to use every day. It's what people think addiction is like, but that stereotype is rare.
The early stage is the functioning addict. They still have a job and their relationships are intact, but their life is suffering because of their addiction. That is the most common scenario. You don't have to suffer major losses to have an addiction.
The consequences of addiction get worse over time. Addiction is a progressive disease. It's never easy to quit. But if you've already suffered negative consequences and don't want them to get worse, there's never a better time to quit than now.
I am in the second category, I am a function addict and I want to quit now before things become worse. I really love that last line: But if youve already suffered negative consequences and dont want them to get worse, theres never a better time to quit than now.
I had a huge positive shift in my life starting last fall when I started taking my anti-depressants again. In my journal writings on this site (open to all), I realized how my drinking went from being social and alcohol not being a negative in my life, to using alcohol to self medicate for anxiety due to stresses in my life as well as my depression. Alcohol had become a negative in my life. After I started feeling better being back on the meds and being true to myself, I realized I had become dependent on alcohol, and I did not want to be anymore. I had no use for it anymore to self medicate. So that is what I am tackling now. Yes, perhaps after taking a break I could possibly drink again moderately, but it is more likely, and knowing myself, I would end up having an addiction problem again. Life is too wonderful and beautiful and precious for me to risk that chance. It is simply not worth it.
In summary, I think your question regarding moderation is a personal question for each individual. However, I think for most their answer is the same as ours, It's not worth it.
Sure I dream and think that I wish i could but I cant.
I have to smash that notion because its just not possible for me.
I am an alcoholic. I cant control the amount I consume once I start. So for me I just abstain.
1is2
Are we talking about a heavy drinker or alcoholic.
My answer as an alcoholic by my say so is NO I never could only talking about my experience.I remember on one occasion stopping for a period of time .
Then one afternoon arranging to meet a co worker at a local pub to pick something up. As soon as I walked in and found my friend not there yet I said to myself a light beer won't hurt.I was wrong again as soon as I took that first mouthful in come the rationalization.
Why pay the same price for a light beer when I can have a full strength one for the same price I'll just drink it slower.(Nuts) Well I don't know if my friend came or not ,i don't remember leaving the pub .
What I do remember was coming out of a blackout on a new motorbike I had just brought because I wasn't drinking going through a red light just making it through two cars traveling across the intersection and running out of petrol about 5 miles from home which probably saved my life or someone elses. My moderate drinking.
I have many of these experiences .
And I have found I don't need alcohol to get that buzz anymore I can get it when i make a good golf swing or when i go out in my little fishing boat in the first bit of swell I take a deep breath and the hairs stand on the back of my neck with a buzz. lots more looking at a new baby.on and on.
I have heard of Alcoholics moderating by "Only drinking on days that ended in a Y." Or days that started with a T Tuesday Thursday Today Tomorrow. Even trying to only drink 4 times a year .Summer ,Winter ,Autumn or Spring but it never worked for them and it wouldn't work for me.
Thankfully today with a sober mind I would make a lot of changes to what I have written .I don't want any of that back.
Thanks for posting .
God Bless...
LIonel
I also don't want to drink in moderation. I'm done. I have zero desire to go back.
And by the way, I don't mind in the least being called an alcoholic. For me it describes a physical condition that relates to the way my body processes alcohol, much the way the term diabetic describes a person's relationship with insulin. It is manageable, and dependent on the choices I make about what I put into my system, but there's no cure for it. I'm just not a drunk anymore.
It is not a problem for me these days because having recovered from that hopeless condition of mind and body, alcohol is not an issue for me. I don't envy those who can drink safely (nor those that can't lol) I don't wake up and pray I will have a sober day. I spend 2 evenings a week in a pub as I am on two quiz teams. I don't even notice alcohol at all - it just isn't a part of my life these days. I don't think that I could stay sober if I still dreamt, or thought, or fantasised, or envied anyone drinking.