I tried to moderate my drinking but it totally didnt work. I was totally incapable of sticking to any limits that I set for myself. I had to try it to collect the evidence that it wouldnt work for me so I could move onto abstinence knowing that moderation had failed.

Why do you feel guilty about drinking? Is it guilt towards yourself? Because you have made promises to other people? Because you know that it is not the best thing for you to be drinking?

Try and learn as much as you can from these experiences because you will be able to use the information you get to guide what you do in the future with regards to drinking.

Many times over the years that I spent drinking to excess everyday I told myself that I should drink less. I never did. and I don't think I could.

So I thought about it.... but not something I can do. The only way for me personally is not drinking.

If moderation works for you -- great. I am not sure about why you feel guilty about drinking in moderation... what's behind the guilt?

you either drink or you don't. self justification for action is just that.

DEFINITELY try it if you want to rule it out, but keep yourself and others safe- have firends over for several good dinners etc and see if you can stick to your limits and enjoy the night.
the fact that i've found though, is that normal drinkers don't anticipate the way alcoholics do, or think in-depth about these things.

G'Day Beth I have tried moderation management .

I tried drinking only on days that started with T
Tuesday ,Thursday ,Today ,Tomorrow,

Then tried drinking only on days that ended in Y.
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday,Friday Saturday ,Sunday

When that didn't work I tried drinking only 4 times a year.
Winter Summer Autumn and Spring.

When none of it work I tried AA and i haven't had to drink alcohol since 27-8-1991 .I finally found something that worked for me.

God Bless...

Lionel.

I stopped drinking (moderately) to support my son going into AA...He lived 9 hours away. After 6 months I had a glass of wine, felt the old "oh, I will just have a second" and don't remember the rest of the night. So, I stopped for good...about a year and a half ago.
And I think about it, so that means I just shouldn't.
Could you moderate by stopping for a year? 6 months? then you can see if your mind is telling you lies, or if learning to relax, handle problems, celebrate, comisserate, suffer...all without alcohol is something you need to do.
there is a reason they say one day at a time...maybe you can't face the idea of never again....so try a year...a very small percentage of your lifetime. And then decide.

moderation might work for problem drinkers,not for alkies

I think it is important to go through this stage for the alcoholic to see if they are truly and alcoholic. It is not normal for a person who is just a heavy drinker to obsess and feel guilt and remorse over boozing-is this you?

Try drinking one a day-go a few days without, and then another, a day off, etc....see if this is no big deal. If it is, you may want to check into completely abstaining. Who wants booze to rule their life and create guilt?

Hoping it is that easy to figure out. I know for some they try moderation management for 20 years until they figure out that maybe it is not working :(

IF you're an alcoholic, there's no way moderation will work, but by allo means give it a try.

Yes a few dozen times. And for me, my moderate goes from a few drinks, to back to drinking to the point of almost passing out nightly. So moderating doesnt work for me.

IMO, if you suffer loss of control MM will not and cannot work over the long haul.

Whenever I read snarky comments about moderation management-I wonder if this is what the person means-like they are an alcoholic and want to go back to normal drinking, or just drink a lot and want to cut back to a normal level.

That program-Moderation Management, is for, what I believe to be, alcoholics. I think it has been clearly de-bunked by most as it's leader fell hard from drinking.

Perhaps if beth is not an alki-she can drink moderately. We have to always remember that not everyone who posts here is an alcoholic.

I would say that I had so many friends that drank alcoholically in their 20's and just went to moderate drinking in their 30's and beyond. I tried but could not. I needed to try though.

Beth-what say you?

I used to drink every day.I managed to drink one or two days a week now.I think I sometimes still binge on drink.