The last couple of times I relapsed it was exactly the same for me. I ended up drunk like I had been drinking heavily when I had not much to drink at all. It was as if I had been at my worst through this nightmare. I was shocked at how my body reacted! My detox was not as bad as when I had been drinking everyday but I still had to suffer with the alcohol purging my system.

Though many will disagree, relapse IS part of recovery. I'm so glad you got through it without any serious consequences. Welcome back friend.

Well I certainly relapsed a lot trying to recover but I don't agree (sorry Dreamy!) that it is necessarily a part of recovery. I just didn't get how important it was to find a sponsor and get through the Step work (I am in AA) early on. In fact some people told me the 12 Steps were not important initially and that I should just do meetings until I had settled in. The only trouble was I could not stay stopped for long.

I know quite a lot of people who have recovered and never relapsed at all.

Yes, I got worse every time I relapsed.

i wouldn't dream of relapsing as I still 14 years later remember the alcohol hell as if it was yesterday -

I know many people that THINK relapse is a necessary part of recovery, but IMO I don't. I think relapse ocurs when you are not serious about recovery but it's never a necessity, If you think of it terms of a necessity, then everyone would have to relapse in order to achieve sobriety and that's not the case. IMO I think relapse is a dangerous part of recovery for many who relapse it takes them on a different spiral of emotions that maybe more difficult to deal with, many people beat themselves up for falling into relapse, making those recovery steps more difficult, some people don't come back to sobriety after relapsing, some people die during their relapse, due to using - IMO I find nothing necessary about it, BUT if it happened, it happened, and if you want sobriety, you have to put it behind you and move forward. I am not knocking AA - but relapseing and using the revolving door offered by AA, I do have a problem with, but that's just my personal opinion - it's not a judgment against AA or the AAers of the group.

Hugs, peace and blessings for your steps forward.

Just the first one is bad for me, as long as I don't take that first one, I never have to worry about that crap anymore.

Alcoholism is a disease. It remains in remission when we are active in recovery and yes, a relapse can be planned but that is part of the disease. I am not remotely implying that relapse is inevitable. Many have become sober and never taken another drink or even come close to a relapse. This disease is a primary disease and it's effects are different for everyone as we are all wired differently psychologically and physiologically

I wish I could find a link for relapse symptoms.... The list is very long. I will try to find one but here is something to consider and acknowledge about relapse:

Sometimes we start doubting our ability to stay sober or we can deny our fears; we say I'll never drink again; can become over confident in our recovery; start isolating or avoid talking about our problems and recovery....

Our world is governed by consequences. For every action there is a reaction. Sometimes we can predict accurately what our consequences will be. This is rare when an alcoholic's disease is active. It can become active before the first drink! Some people do not agree with this which is okay by me. These are just my thoughts and beliefs.....

Some questions to ask ourselves can help with an action we may take prior to relapse:

What is the best thing that could happen? What is the worst thing that could happen? What is the most likely thing to happen?

Decide what you are going to do and make a commitment. Make a decision and then do it! It takes constructive action. With commitment, all we have really is our word. To others and to ourselves. Your word is important! Keep it and live it!

I hope this made sense... Relapse is very complicated but it doesn't mean it's inevitable and it we can learn tools to prevent it!

Gailly ad CB...neither I nor dreamintrees said that relapse is or needs to part of recovery....just that if it happens you can learn from it. And if it does happen...then learn what steps caused it and when it actually began.(which was long before the drink). Thank you all for your support/opinions. What I immediately did was go back the the inpatient facility where I started and for five days identified where I went wrong and how I set myself up for this to happen. My problem is that I separated knowing what to do..and actually doing it. Those can be miles apart. There are about a hundred details into what happened which I will not bore you with....none of which are valid excuses for relapse. What amazed me the most was that I expected the counselors to react much differently. Instead of disappointment I was welcomed back and congratulated for not giving up on recovery. They are truly amazing people!

Everyone relapses!
The drink is the exclamation point at the end of the scream.

What is relapse? The process of becoming dysfunctional in recovery or the process of returning to old thinking, attitudes and behaviors that lead to the use of chemical substances and ultimately, if not stopped, will lead back to regular using. Using is the last phase of relapse.

Relapse begins with "stuck points" in life that are mismanaged - problems at work, at home, unresolved conflicts, resentments, life crisis, death, etc. The chronic relapser experiences a stuck point and does not ask for help. Denial sets in.

Stage I
Return of denial: feeling irritable or "out of sorts" and not talking about it. Individuals begin to isolate. When a person is in denial and does not have the tools to identify it, one does not know they are in denial, because they are in denial. The stuck point is denied and stress is elevated. They go into internal dysfunction, "stinking thinking," can't think clearly, cockiness, complacency, "I can do this my way, I don't need your help, I am fine," etc.


Stage II
Avoidance Behavior: Individuals begin to be dishonest with themselves. They become even more isolated and go into external dysfunction by avoiding meetings, not calling their sponsor, engaging in risky behaviors, and not listening to others all together. They are completely oblivious to warning signs.

Stage III
Crisis Building: Individuals are overwhelmed and feel out of control. There is a severe breakdown regarding their recovery program prescribed, depression and anxiety are taking over. Individuals then resort to self-medicating (drinking, using drugs or acting out in other addictive ways). This brings only temporary relief.


Denial: A group of psychological defenses and maneuvers that addicts use to protect themselves from the realization that they have a substance abuse problem.

The relapse is the return to a state of despair.

Individuals who are functional in recovery get stuck and ask for help. They learn to consolidate their resources at the stuck point and access support systems. They take action. They learn the tools to work through stuck points and identify warning signs to relapse. Recognition of common triggers and high-risk situations is key before the process of relapse begins. Each trigger or warning sign will vary according to each individual.

I relapsed and learned from it but I agree with those that say that it is not a necessary or inevitable thing. For me my relapses weren't really part of my recovery, they arose from the fact that I was in fact not actively engaged in recovery.

For me relapse is pretty simple - it will occur if I am not in fit spiritual condition. The circumstances may vary but at the core is the belief for me that if I am in fit spiritual condition I will be able to stay sober whatever the circumstances and that if I am not maintaining and growing my fit spiritual condition I will end up drinking whatever the circumstances.

This is why, for me, my recovery does not involve focus on not drinking it involves focus on my contact with a power greater than myself.

Relapse IS part of the recovery of SOME people but it not a part of recovery per se. Relapse is totally unnecessary, it arises out of spiritual sickness and until that is dealt with through the 12 steps relapse is always a possibilty. I don't say this from any position of superiority - I had two relapses myself but I do now believe that they did not have to happen and wouldn't have done if I had recovered through the steps.

Now that you have had this experience it is imperative that you work through the steps rapidly. Remember that fear only sobered Bill W 'for a bit'.

I know exactly what you're sayin sccooter...I don't really consider any of my failed attempts at getting sober "relapses" because I don't think I ever really seriously way deep down to my toes knew and accepted that abstinence was my only option.

I was determined to prove that I could drink socially again...

Between Feb. of 08 (when I first admitted I had a problem) and Feb. of 09 (my last drink) I never got more than 2 months at a time strung together & wasn't actively doing anything to get or stay sober. (that's why I don't consider them relapses, I simply never stopped)

However, I do think my many failed attempts over the past year were necessary for me to really get it.

Each time did get much, much worse. I was amazed that a night of drinking would lead to a 2 day hangover from hell whereas it never did before.

I'm not in any way, shape or form saying that relapse is necessary or a part of recovery as a general statement and I would not recommend testing the waters to anyone, but for me...yeah...I think those miserable, failed attempts were absolutely necessary for me to get serious about recovery.

Sccooter, I hope this one kicked your ass into high gear...you sound like me, I was as dumbfounded as you are...