I struggle off and on..my recovery is sort of an ebb and flow thing. When my life is going really well.. I do hear a whisper now and then from my disease like "it's time to celebrate!" During rough times, like I'm having now (just part of the human ecperience) my disease really f**** with me. I start thinking "THIS is what I got sober for? Forget it" or "I'm just in too much pain and I don't think I can make it without numbing it up"...I have had those thoughts a few times recently..and that's when I know I'm in trouble. I have been using my female networks both in and out of AA and I am talking to my sponsor usually everyday. I'm also attempting the steps one more time...if anything, the step work and reading the big book have helped me get me through this time mostly, that and prayer which keeps me closer to the light and farther from the liquor store lol

I still have rough days but I don't think of drinking anymore to solve these things. Life is much easier then it was when I was wasted.
Best thing to do when you are struggling is have a bowl of ice cream, phone a friend and get to a meeting! xxoo best of luck!

I am truly amazed that the obession over the drink has left me. Thanks to my higher power and the 12 steps of AA. I have over a year sober but I still do it one day at a time. I know that alcohol is cunning, baffeling and powerful so I keep program close. I am just like any other alchy, I am one sip from a slip. From what you have posted here sounds like you are isolating. That is a very common problem we as alcholics have. I dont know if it will work for you, but I attend meeting on a daily basis and I use the phone. You might need to do some service work. We keep it by giving it away. It also helps with the loniness.

Occasionally, when in early sobriety, I took up other unhealthy behaviors such as shopping, overeating, etc. Have you picked up any other unhealthy behaviors that could be filling that hole inside that God eventually fills? For me, that blocked me from the sunlight of the spirit.

Has your sponsor taken you through the 12 Steps to your spiritual awakening? I hope it gets easier for you Bob

No it is easy for me these day's to stay away from alcohol. I was rather forced into it by a life threatening disease, but I am glad cause I am sober 2 yrs and 4 mons.