Hello Jaylat,

Although it is hard for you to see it right now, your life can turn around completely and you can have a great future. For now, all you need to do is to believe that anything is possible.

When life seems overwhelming and everything looks impossible, the best approach is to start with solving one problem at a time. Therefore, it may be good for you to make use of this time in rehab to work on the alcohol issue and to leave other things such as relationships aside for the moment. I am not familiar with how rehab works but from what I have been told, there is a lot of help available there so I would suggest that you make full use of what they have to offer. If you do that, your thinking will have changed completely by the end of 35 days and you will face the world with much more confidence.

From my own experience, I know that AA can be a big help in developing a new way of thinking and a positive attitude towards life. Therefore, I would suggest attending meetings in rehab if that is possible and certainly after you leave the treatment facility. I would also suggest that meetings alone will not be enough and that it would help you a lot if you eventually get a sponsor who can guide you through the 12 steps.

If you find it hard to believe that your life will improve, look around and listen to the stories of other people who have been where you are now and who have recovered – if they can do it, so can you.

It is possible to lose the booze. I too was suicidal. I was sad, mad, and just not happy, until I stayed off the booze for a few months. Then a shift happened. It was like the pull of the Death Star. It was so strong when I was too close, but when I got enough away from it I was like WTF was I doing. Sure the urge still hits, but I just know that drinking is not good and sober is good.

You deserve to be happy and enjoy life. Cmon you can do this

1is2many

I have been where you are. I felt like I was a burden, like people would have been better off if I was gone...
It wasn't until I got through the first hard stage of sobriety that I started to realise things. Alcohol is a depressant. The more sober I got, the happier I got and the more people wanted to be around me. People aren't abandoning you because of you. It is the drinking that is the issue. Give it time. Push through. People will see the sober you, the real you and most people will like what they see. Your girl threw you out, probably not cause she didn't love you or like the person you are but cause she couldn't be with the drunk you. Get sober, let her see the real you. In my experience the sober version is ALWAYS better.
I am not a religious person but I do believe that everyone is put on this earth for a reason. Let yourself get sober for long enough to find that reason.
Please keep us updated. There are so many amazing people on this site that want to help and are damn good at it! Let us help you.

I felt totally ashamed and hopeless when I stepped into my first meeting. Pretty sure I sobbed through moist of the meeting. The point is the more sobriety you have the more you'll feel likje doing this for yourself above all else is so important. Things will start falling into place. I know when you're hurting it is so hard to see beyond that or not crave the oblivion of being drunk gives you. In time you will learn better coping strategies and ways to handle stress. I know before you went in you said your family still cares for you. No matter what happens know that they want the very best for you. Keep on going my friend. After these first few weeks things will start to get brighter.

I totally understand understand you and am going with a positive outlook and am trying to get as much as I can, it's been 4 days now and I definitely have learned alot and some of my triggers, yes I am focused on me but my family is number 1 on my priority list as well as myself, with out them I have nothing and hopefully at the end of this rehab I will have the strength to deal with it if I can't go home, right now it's early and my family is one of the main reasons I am here but I realize I have a sickness and I just want my love ones to be part of my recovery plan, they know where I stand and what I'm doing but I can't deal with out the support from the one I've loved for the last 3 yrs

I know everything in life seems overwelming but try to focus on the present and if you can do just that,...everything else will fall into place!

God Bless

Well I guess as of tonight's conversation with my girl, right now she is content with being a single mom and seeing my progress and possibly trying counsling and learning about my issue from the military with ptsd and my drinking , her family doesn't understand it as they have never dealt with it so I have to just wait and see what's going on and time will tell, it's hard to swallow but I can't control it and it hurts but I guess if she really loves me it will work out ,if not then fuck it

keep it up one day at a time things will work out focus on this great gift

I bet you could qualify for a VA disability pension with the ptsd. I know alot of veterans who get it for that reason. You should go apply! That would take care of your financial issues.

God Bless

I been fighting it for yrs with the va , but who am I they are bigger than me and I don't know the proper channels or what to actually do, cause they say I'm just the average Joe and I know I'm not things have changed since my time in

JayLat.. get in touch with your State Senator/Representative and you US Senator and Representative and tell them what the issues are, what you have been doing, and the roadblocks put in front of you. As your elected officials they should be ready and willing to help you with the VA issues.

As for your "girlfriend," I would tell you to stop thinking about it and concentrate on your recovery. If you think you will fail, you will fail. If you think you will drink, you will drink. I was suicidal and even tried to give my girlfriend a drug overdose. She ended up in a psych unit for 30 days, her two daughters and our son were put into foster care until she got out and I tried taking my life. The fact is I went to an AA meeting cause I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I knew AA would work, but had tried it twice without luck. But something had to give.... and it was me. I went to that meeting and told them "I need help!! Help me please!" Lots of hands reached out and took me in. I got an AA sponsor who immediately started me on Step 1. We beat the walls of denial down and let HOPE in. That was all it took... hope for a solution and willingness to find it. That was over three decades ago and I been sober since that wonderful day. I wish you the best with your recovery, and with the VA. As for your girlfriend... do what I did ... turn it over to the loving hands of your Higher Power.