do you wanna quit drinking away a good life? it gets worse...drinking is a progressive portion of alcoholism....it gets worse over time...never better...you are chasing the buzz you used to get from drink...now it just goes down hill.....

put the plug in the jug n see if you have the balls to go to AA....it might scare the wiggle out of you to go but worth having tried....

hugs bill

I have gone to aa.... I've been there drunk. I have gone a year without it. I'm just stuck on drinking. But I'm not chasing a buzz. I drink the same. And it does the job. But when I'm drunk I look at my kids and cry. Telling them its daddy's soda. I joined here cause I want to talk to other people. Cause I know I am defeated. Like a boxer, I need a coach. And thanks bill.

Hello xzanth,

You have made a start by coming on here and looking for people to talk to about the problem. You say that you are defeated, like a boxer and need a coach and that is good thinking. However, for a boxer to start winning again he needs to have that coach right there by the ringside.

If you are serious about wanting to stop drinking you will be prepared to do whatever it takes. That is where I was a few years ago when I loved drinking and hated it all at the same time; desperately wanted to stop drinking and still wanted to keep drinking. In the end I went to AA meetings and got that coach that you talked about. This guy had been around the ring for long enough to know the ropes and he told me what I needed to do. My suggestion to you is to make a decision that you will stop drinking today and stick to it. You know by now that what you have done in the past has not worked so you need a different approach. Bearing in mind that you are now prepared to do whatever it takes, I would suggest going back to AA (going there sober is better). Listen to what people share at the meetings and pay particular attention to guys who talk about the programme of recovery. Ask one of those people if he would be your sponsor (coach) and do what he suggests.

The journey starts with a decision to put away the drink, not tomorrow but right NOW. Then look for the help that you need. Send me a private message if you want to talk.

The desperation in your post really reminds me of how I felt a few years ago. I had every reason to stop drinking and not a single reason to carry on except the fact that I drank because I needed to. Yet I couldn't stop, I tried every way I could think of and none of them worked. I tried to remind myself of all the things I had to lose if I carried on but that just made be feel more guilty about not being able to stop. And I did increasingly hurtful things when I was drunk that drive people away and made me feel worse and worse.

I loved drinking and hated it. I wanted to drink and didn't want to drink. I was totally trapped and beaten just like you describe.

The good news is that I have been sober for a few years now so even though it might not feel possible to you right now, it is.

What I had to do was two things. The first get separated from alcohol, with a medical detox if necessary, because part of the problem was that I was physically dependant on alcohol. Part of the reason I couldn't stop drinking was that it made me really ill if I didn't drink. Do you have a doctor you can talk to so you can find out if you need medical help to stop drinking. I didn't get it the last time i stopped drinking and I was very ill. Detox can be dangerous so it is worth checking out especially if you experience physical symptoms if you don't have a drink (shakes, fast heart rate, pain, DT's etc)

After I was no longer drinking my next problem was how to stay stopped. I could always stop for a bit, hours, days, sometimes even weeks but I always started again even though I really really didn't want to and had no intention of doing it. I found a way to stay away from alcohol through a program that helped me to connect with a source of power that I didn't previously have access to that could keep me sober. It also gave me a way to live that didn't need alcohol and helped me to become more like the person I wanted to be. And access to a group of people who were trying to get and stay sober too.

Glad you have come here searching for help. Hopefully it will be the start of a different way of life for you. Send me a private message if you would like to talk more.

Please help. I have the shakes but another beer calms them. I know the dangers and keep doing it. I'm fine now. Am drinking and playing akylanders with my son. But what after. Am I going to get drunk, make him dinner and sleep? I play black ops 2, and I can't even play that anymore :( my kill death ratio has dropped from 1.10 to 1.06. I'm a gamer. Been playing for at least 25 years. My kids games. And I see gaming goin a long way. So I will game till I die. But this problem might stop me. I lose interest. In even the best games. :( thanks for all the talk from everyone. Love all of you for being so you..

Skylanders*

Can you make an appointment with a doctor to discuss options for stopping drinking safely? Being able to stop safely has to be your starting point.

put the plug in the jug

I'm with Nicky here about seeing a doctor. Either that or get yourself into rehab so someone can monitor your detox.

If you're not chasing the buzz, then you're drinking just to feel normal. You said it "does the job." What job? Putting you in a place where you look at your kids and cry? Putting words in your mouth that ruin your relationships? Pretty messed up to "love" something that's driving away everything worthwhile in your life. Would you put up with a person who said you can have me only if you give up your family, your job, your Assassins Creed 4?

Look, you have to really want get better, and you have to make it your number one priority. It's a deadly disease that needs to be treated. If you had cancer, you wouldn't make excuses. Alcoholism is every bit as fatal if you don't get help. Do it for those kids you love so much.

You guys are all great :)

Hello xzanth,

Dont forget to take action because it never gets better until you do.

I wish I was good at those games but I gave up on them years ago when the small children could do better than me every time. It wasnt the same with beating alcoholism though, because with a bit of help I was able to do what I believed to be impossible.

Suffer the children. When you are drunk and feeling sorry for yourself in front of your kids, that's child abuse. If you want to blubber, let someone else watch your kids until you're done. They didn't ask to be brought in to this world. You helped create them. So man up and do the right thing.

I agree with gr8.....
if your boys live with you, and you are a drunk, you are setting them up for a lifetime of heartache, crisis and drama. Its not fair. Its dangerous at best.
Go to rehab, take action, get sober.
I also agree with the others in this is a progressive deal. You will get worse, not better, if you wallow in your own BS/ alcoholism. I know as I've been there so this is said out of compassion, but also clarity.

Didn't drink today. I feel a little uneasy. Shaky a little bit. And nauseou. At some points. Vision was kinda messed. I think I will be ok. Tomorrow will start day 2.

Well done for not drinking but do be careful especially if you usually drink everyday. It can take a while for alcohol to drop below the level for serious withdrawal to set in. If you start feeling any worse you should seek medical help immediately. Withdrawal can be dangerous and it isn't wise to take any risks with it.