Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
I believe I'm an alcoholic...one they call functional. I think back to when I became legal drinking age and I just drank socially with friends, went to the bars, or parties just like anyone my age would do. It was all social...until about 4 years ago when I met my now husband. I didn't know he was an alcoholic...we went out and he smoked like a chimney, and had one beer on our first date, and we shared beer and rum together on weekends and stuff but I didn't see a problem...at first.
We moved in together quickly, about 5 months in. Things were fine. After 3 months we decided we needed a nicer place in a better neighborhood and closer to my work. Our new place was awesome! Our landlords were great and things just seemed perfect. Our landlords did a lot of drinking, I don't remember them being drunk...they were social drinkers who always had friends over. That's when I noticed my husband's drinking. I remember being at work maybe a month after we moved in and it was my sister's birthday. I got a call at work saying there was a surprise for me when I got home. I said that I was going to my parents after work for my sister's birthday dinner. He got so mad and I was trying to keep it together in front of my co-worker. I am a professional as a pharmacy technician. I ended up driving home and pulling over on a side road and calling him. He was so wasted. Apparently he brought home a "lady," well she wasn't....she was becoming one. Him and I had discussed having a threesome, but I didn't dream of acting on it. He was into porn a lot and I learned he had been at orgy parties in his earlier years but he wasn't set on doing that anymore. I was mortified, I don't know where he met here...I'm assuming in this alley known for hookers. He clearly drove downtown drunk and brought her home. I was in tears...I got home and he was passed out on the couch, and the girl was there and I just wanted to die. I ended up lying to my sister and saying my husband planned a surprise evening and that I couldn't have dinner with them. The girl said if I wanted her to leave that she would...but then my husband woke up and somehow talked me into trying to have a fun night with her. We all did stuff and I never like remembering that night. That was the day I knew how bad his drinking was. He drove her home early the next morning on his way to work and swore he never wanted to drink again. I had hoped the landlords were clueless as to her being there.
That was around the time I found out about my husband's DUI. It came out to my parents and sister and some friends and I think most of them didn't want me to stay with him (they found out about the DUI, not the threesome) but aside from the freaky night, our sex life was incredible and I was in love and on our first anniversary we got engaged. Shortly after that 2 very dear friends invited us to a place they were house sitting. Well I couldn't say no and they insisted I bring James (hubby) but he was well on his way to being wasted. Now that I knew about the DUI, he wasn't afraid to show it. So we showed up and there was no hiding it. My friends were concerned and I swore I wouldn't make any wedding plans until he got sober. I just kept on letting it happen...He was off weekends and if I worked on his day off I was literally afraid to come home...afraid of what I'd find. He never laid a hand on me, it was verbal abuse. I learned to try not to say anything when he was drunk.
He eventually went back to truck driving because his he got laid off his demolition job due to the economy. Went in business with my dad (my dad lent him the money) and started to be on the road. At first I was miserable. I missed him so much. Then It was almost a relief because I didn't have to fear coming home some days. Then he got his second DUI. Couldn't work for 3 months. I thought it was over. Through it all though, my parents stuck by us. James swore for real this was it. That lasted maybe 10 days, then he would drink again...and I just found myself eventually joining in. I am overweight, obese. I was overweight when I met James, but the pounds have kept coming on and I weigh 70 lbs more now then when I met him. We would bicker...you stop drinking and smoking...well then you have to lose weight. We feed off each other. Once James was back at work, I found myself drinking by myself on my days off work. I found myself needing it. To fill a void? I don't know. I haven't figured that out. I went to see a counselor about my weight and depression/anxiety and that got too expensive. James and I got married and he was outside at the reception smoking more that he was inside with me. It was still a great day though...all in all. On our honeymoon he invited a friend up one evening for beer. (we just went to a resort a few hours from home) I was mad, but then I just drank with them. After about 1.5 years of being together we stopped having sex...James couldn't perform and I still believe to this day it's because of my self esteem. I was happier when we first met, now I feel I've settled for less than I deserve, but I still love him. If I leave he has no one and I need him. Now were are in a new place again, and I drink almost everyday. It's always late afternoon/evening when I start and it went from being on days off to nearly everyday unless I have to work early. Our finances our shot...we nearly had to claim bankruptcy because of James's DUI and lawyers fees and his smoking. But now were are on a repayment plan and we have no credit cards. Based on our budget, we should be able to save about $150-200 a month. Well there are no savings and there are weeks we struggle. I keep blaming James, but now I see it's me. I spend between $20-30 a day maybe 5,6 days a week on beer and vodka drinks. He knows I drink, he doesn't know how bad. I find myself not going out with friends because I'd rather be by myself drinking. I told my sister I drink by myself, but she doesn't know how bad either. Now when James comes home I hope he wants to drink, when I used to hate it.
Sorry this is so long, I hope someone reads it. Do I blame James for my problem? Sort of, but I'm my own person, he didn't make me start. I want to tell my family and friends, so they can understand the way I've been the past year. I'm killing myself with food and alcohol and I am beyond depressed. I go to work, I play on the computer and watch TV. I don't even cook. I am lost.
I think I've found the right place to start...admitting my problem to myself, but where to go from here?
We moved in together quickly, about 5 months in. Things were fine. After 3 months we decided we needed a nicer place in a better neighborhood and closer to my work. Our new place was awesome! Our landlords were great and things just seemed perfect. Our landlords did a lot of drinking, I don't remember them being drunk...they were social drinkers who always had friends over. That's when I noticed my husband's drinking. I remember being at work maybe a month after we moved in and it was my sister's birthday. I got a call at work saying there was a surprise for me when I got home. I said that I was going to my parents after work for my sister's birthday dinner. He got so mad and I was trying to keep it together in front of my co-worker. I am a professional as a pharmacy technician. I ended up driving home and pulling over on a side road and calling him. He was so wasted. Apparently he brought home a "lady," well she wasn't....she was becoming one. Him and I had discussed having a threesome, but I didn't dream of acting on it. He was into porn a lot and I learned he had been at orgy parties in his earlier years but he wasn't set on doing that anymore. I was mortified, I don't know where he met here...I'm assuming in this alley known for hookers. He clearly drove downtown drunk and brought her home. I was in tears...I got home and he was passed out on the couch, and the girl was there and I just wanted to die. I ended up lying to my sister and saying my husband planned a surprise evening and that I couldn't have dinner with them. The girl said if I wanted her to leave that she would...but then my husband woke up and somehow talked me into trying to have a fun night with her. We all did stuff and I never like remembering that night. That was the day I knew how bad his drinking was. He drove her home early the next morning on his way to work and swore he never wanted to drink again. I had hoped the landlords were clueless as to her being there.
That was around the time I found out about my husband's DUI. It came out to my parents and sister and some friends and I think most of them didn't want me to stay with him (they found out about the DUI, not the threesome) but aside from the freaky night, our sex life was incredible and I was in love and on our first anniversary we got engaged. Shortly after that 2 very dear friends invited us to a place they were house sitting. Well I couldn't say no and they insisted I bring James (hubby) but he was well on his way to being wasted. Now that I knew about the DUI, he wasn't afraid to show it. So we showed up and there was no hiding it. My friends were concerned and I swore I wouldn't make any wedding plans until he got sober. I just kept on letting it happen...He was off weekends and if I worked on his day off I was literally afraid to come home...afraid of what I'd find. He never laid a hand on me, it was verbal abuse. I learned to try not to say anything when he was drunk.
He eventually went back to truck driving because his he got laid off his demolition job due to the economy. Went in business with my dad (my dad lent him the money) and started to be on the road. At first I was miserable. I missed him so much. Then It was almost a relief because I didn't have to fear coming home some days. Then he got his second DUI. Couldn't work for 3 months. I thought it was over. Through it all though, my parents stuck by us. James swore for real this was it. That lasted maybe 10 days, then he would drink again...and I just found myself eventually joining in. I am overweight, obese. I was overweight when I met James, but the pounds have kept coming on and I weigh 70 lbs more now then when I met him. We would bicker...you stop drinking and smoking...well then you have to lose weight. We feed off each other. Once James was back at work, I found myself drinking by myself on my days off work. I found myself needing it. To fill a void? I don't know. I haven't figured that out. I went to see a counselor about my weight and depression/anxiety and that got too expensive. James and I got married and he was outside at the reception smoking more that he was inside with me. It was still a great day though...all in all. On our honeymoon he invited a friend up one evening for beer. (we just went to a resort a few hours from home) I was mad, but then I just drank with them. After about 1.5 years of being together we stopped having sex...James couldn't perform and I still believe to this day it's because of my self esteem. I was happier when we first met, now I feel I've settled for less than I deserve, but I still love him. If I leave he has no one and I need him. Now were are in a new place again, and I drink almost everyday. It's always late afternoon/evening when I start and it went from being on days off to nearly everyday unless I have to work early. Our finances our shot...we nearly had to claim bankruptcy because of James's DUI and lawyers fees and his smoking. But now were are on a repayment plan and we have no credit cards. Based on our budget, we should be able to save about $150-200 a month. Well there are no savings and there are weeks we struggle. I keep blaming James, but now I see it's me. I spend between $20-30 a day maybe 5,6 days a week on beer and vodka drinks. He knows I drink, he doesn't know how bad. I find myself not going out with friends because I'd rather be by myself drinking. I told my sister I drink by myself, but she doesn't know how bad either. Now when James comes home I hope he wants to drink, when I used to hate it.
Sorry this is so long, I hope someone reads it. Do I blame James for my problem? Sort of, but I'm my own person, he didn't make me start. I want to tell my family and friends, so they can understand the way I've been the past year. I'm killing myself with food and alcohol and I am beyond depressed. I go to work, I play on the computer and watch TV. I don't even cook. I am lost.
I think I've found the right place to start...admitting my problem to myself, but where to go from here?
It is a big deal that you came here and are admitting you have a problem. You recognize a need. Now, maybe you can find the want. You deserve so much better than what you describe above. Would your h be willing to attend some meetings with you?
There are 20 questions at the above link which may help you make up your mind about whether or not you are an alcoholic.
Good luck.
Good decision. You will learn a new way of seeing your life and I think you're going to love it.
Now what? AA and/ or OA as Tara mentioned can and will help you if you want help.
One thing is for sure, if you are an alcoholic, if you don't take action to arrest your disease it will progress. That was certainly my experience. I drank socially for years until...I didnt. And I saw that I had a big and growing problem. I needed help. I found it and SOOOOOO much more at AA.
Good luck. You deserve to be happy. Life is short, don't spend any more of it miserably.