Sitting here this morning drinking my first cup of coffee of the day! It feels so good to feel good! I feel the strongest I have felt in years emotionally. Yesterday my husband to off work and we went out to breakfast while the kids were out school and shopping around town. It was wonderful.I had a good heart to heart with my 14 year old late last night. I had a clear head. NOrmally I would have been in bed. How many hundreds of mornings have I waisted? How many nights did I wake up at 2am with bone dry lips, dying of thirst trying to slam vitamins and do damage control from the night before. That is basically how I used to live my life...Damage control...all the time. While I am only a week in, emotionally I have made more progress than I have in months or even years. I finally get it! Here is my truth : I am an alcoholic, I can not drink in moderation. Me having only one drink is like only eating one piece of popcorn at the movies on a much larger scale.  I will always fall into the trap. I must stay away from all alcohol if I am going to be successful. period. I have learned that throughout the last 5 years especially, I lied to myself so much I almost believed my own lies. I would think things like, "Everyone drinks", " Most people are like me" , " I know my limits", and the list goes on. Getting real with myself is scary but it gives me courage to leave this behind. The truth is, If I dont stop drinking now, I may not be here in another 10 years. My body is no different than anyone elses. I have a lot of regrets about the things I have missed out on because of my drinking. But I know in order to move forward I have to forgive myself and and look forward to the amazing future I have laid out in front of me. I will be 34 soon. I still have life left in me. I have goals. I went to school and graduated in the medical field. I hated it. I always truly wanted to act and sing. Getting sober will help me find my way to my passion and doing what I love. I'm gonna find my way. I am determined to find my way.