First, if you really feel suicidal call a crisis hotline immediately. No need to kill yourself over this. I got a DWI. I am on a two year probation where in my state it is against the LAW to have one drink during that period. If you have no means of financial support check into law firms that will take you on pro bono (for free), anyway, make some calls.

You are in the right forum. This should be a wake up call for you to not drink. I am in AA and it works for me. 60 plus days sober so I am new at this. You are lucky you did not kill someone.

AA is not the only way but I would suggest you start now going to a meeting near you. The DWI charges are what they are. Feel lucky it was not worse.

If you want to stop drinking you are in the right place, the right forum. "I used to drink quite a bit" - good for you for cutting back but to drink and drive it sounds like you have a drinking problem that needs to be addressed.

You will get a lot of support in this forum if you really are ready to stop drinking. Why risk your life and others here on out. It is your life now.

I got one 10 years before I quit drinking. I look back now and am just so grateful that all I hit was the roundabouts and not that I killed someone (I was being looked after).

I still have to declare this nowadays for jobs and that sucks yet I guess I need this to let me know where I have come back from.

All you can do is be honest about it, tell the correct circumstances. The last job I went for, I told them about it. I told them I was in AA for 18 months (at the time) as I had realised I had an issue. I got the job (didnt take it mind, yet got it! haha).

On the front of not driving, my friends helped me. Ask others for help and I am sure they will help you too.

Nothing happens in this world by accident :)

Hi abielle, suicide is no solution and will only leave those who care and love you wondering what they should have done. You're most welcome to come here and post. I never got a DUI, but it was only pure dumb luck and a fear of driving because of an accident when I was younger. You mentioned you reduced your drinking from a few years back. Did you ever consider yourself an alcoholic, and are you maybe doing that now.

I've felt shame and guilt many times over after a night of drinking. Became a daily event in the end, but also came time to face up to the consequences of my drinking and take responsibility for my life. Shame was a feeling I felt when I reached out for help, but when I did, it was also the window to healing. 'This shall pass' is said a bit in recovery here, and as long as you get back up, make this a lesson learned and keep putting one foot in front of the other, it will.

Abilelle, you've made a mistake, and we all make them. If we didn't, how would we learn. Sometimes those mistakes are small, and sometimes they are bigger and hurt not just ourselves, but others. No matter the size, you can overcome hurdles in your life. I've learned I can't do that alone, and I've learned I don't have to. There's always help.

One lesson from this can be zero tolerance with alcohol and driving. if you're not an alcoholic, raise your awareness, educate yourself and create your own zero alcohol law to commit to. The legal one didn't keep you safe. Hope you weren't hurt in the accident. Stick around, there's some wonderful people here. Keep reaching out and welcome to the group :}

Well.....if you are feeling suicidal take that SERIOUSLY and do call a hotline. Tell a trusted friend. Tell a healthcare provider. TELL someone outside of this board in real life. Life is too precious.

AA is amazing and you've gotten that suggestion already.

If you arent an alcoholic, you'll find that out too. If you are, you'll get the help you need. Either way its worth a meeting or two or three?

I've never had a DWI but it wasnt from lack of opportunity it was just luck.

Good luck!

Hi Abielle...I get the feeling of failure/shame that comes along with getting a DWI/DUI. I received one in Jan 2010. First offense but I was already in a downward spiral and this just added to it. I actually did attempt suicide about a month later (this incident just compounded a bunch of other shit). I was found out in a snowbank by one of my neigbors and truthfully, given all of my actions, I shouldn't be here but I am glad I am. Considering doing the deed is no joke but when you feel overwhelmed it does seem as if it's the only way to deal. It's not. What I learned from what happened to me is that there are other options. A DWI is not the end of the world. You made a mistake and now you just need to clean it up and move forward.

Financially you will get dinged...it comes with the territory. Thankfully no one was hurt so that will mitigate the blow a bit but still remember the lesson (don't do it again..not matter what...there are always other options out there).

My fine was around $1800...lost my license for 2 months...took a mandated driver safety class...insurance went sky high, but what would you expect? If they made it easy on everybody, well the stats would be even worse than what they are now. Own up. Pay up. Deal with it and move on. Just be thankful it wasn't worse, you know? I wish you the best and know that if you keep your head about you this need never happen again. Take care.

*neighbors....*no, not (not). Sorry for the typos..

Maybe it's a wake up call? Was that your first time driving drunk?

This not worth taking your life over. Maybe there is more to the story. Just curious... Are there any other substances involved? If not, great. I hope you'll continue to seek help for your despair.

As others have said, here you will get support to stop drinking. We aren't counselors or psychologists - not to say we don't have compassion.

I think we get through these difficult times by working our program of choice. Some of us get honest as you have here and seek forgiveness. Others make direct amends. Still others pray and meditate. I use AA's 12 steps, but a key point for me is I cannot take a drink or use drugs.

I have never had any legal trouble, so I can't offer specific advice, but this is no different really than any other mistake. It has consequences. It is a learning experience. You can strive to change your behavior and choose to live differently - then wait for time to heal the shame and hurt. You don't have to go through this ever again. It will pass.

Good luck.

Believe me, you will be just fine. In a short amount of time it will be behind you.
The next one gets a little trickier.
The one after that,, then it starts getting scary.
The one after that you might convince yourself you have a problem.
The next one after that, well it is about to late.
Then the final one,welp, it is to late,,, hmmmm I guess I might have a problem... LOL> On a serious note,, just learn from it because it can get a helluva lot worse.

Hopefully a wakeup call for you. If you can control it, wonderful! Just don't drink and drive.

If you find yourself swearing you won't drink and drive and end up doing it anyway, then that is something to look at.

All the best.

Yes your in the right place. You are never alone. Most states mandate a 12 step 90 meetings in 90 days after the first DUI. Even if this isn't mandated it would be an awesome move on your part to go to an AA meeting and talk to some folks before and after the meeting regarding your experience. Employee assist. programs or your local social service will be more then willing to help. How about your primary care MD.. So much help and understanding waiting out there. All is not lost. You are brave and reached out. Continue to do so and remain proactive on your way to wellness. Love Cathy

I got a DUI in 2005 reduced to reckless driving. Talk about wanting to leave this world. BUT, I did survive, and I did get everything worked out. I wanted it so I worked hard at getting things right. I went to AA and got my life back together again. I'm 6 years sober and loving every minute of it! It's worth the fight, you can do this!

You maynot belong here because youdon't think you're alcoholic. Truth be told if think you are then you're in the right place. It sounds to me like you're just gonna have to take your lumps and chalk this incedent to experience. I don't know about NC laws but in California you lose your licence for a year .Go to traffic school for at least 6 months and before it's all said and done cost you around 10 thousand. It's a great motivator not to drink and drive. I hope it all works out for you keep coming back and let us know how you're doing.

My only comment is......one DWI/DUI does not make one an alcoholic. Just bad luck in getting it. But I would say that if you are having other problems due to drinking, then maybe you should look at the problem......alcohol. As one Father Martin once said, "What causes a Problem, is a Problem. If alcohol is causing you problems, then you problem is alcoholism."

Thanks for all of the replies.

No, there were/are no other substances involved. I have never used drugs besides some random experimental weed smoking in college.

The NC laws take my license away for a year. I could get a limited license in order to get to work and back...but I need to be able to afford to buy a new car and pay the insurance on it first. I ended up buying a Vespa scooter to use for now. That won't really work for me in the winter though.

I am in traffic school now. Because I don't qualify as a substance abuser according to my evaluation, I only have to go to 16 hours of it, a class called ADETS. So, 5 evenings and I am done. I will have to either spend 24 hours in jail or do community service. I will probably have to do the jail time since it is only 40 dollars vs. the 250 they charge you to do community service. (And I would probably have to take time off of work to do that as well.) I can barely afford food these days, so 40 bucks wins, even if I do have to spend the night in jail.

I thought of going to AA, but I am really not sure what I would get out of it. I don't crave alcohol. I don't really care if I drink or not. I am more apt to not drink now, since the thought of the DWI having occurred makes me feel ill.

My self esteem is in the basement. I feel so ashamed and embarrassed that I made such a stupid choice. I have flashbacks to the accident constantly. Even when I am riding my scooter I picture myself careening into a tree or a light post. I remember the way the people at the jail treated me, and I feel like absolute trash.

The only people who know about the DWI are my mom and my partner. (And obviously the people at the traffic school, and lawyer etc.) I will never tell anyone else. I will keep it as a secret till my death. The shame is the hardest part. I just hope it gets easier with time and that someday I can forget this ever happened.