Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
And am drinking. I'm considering this my last hurrah. Seriously. 2 meetings under my belt which now mean nothing. A friend/my rabbi, texted me tonight - now in recovery as well who knows I was trying. I lied. I didnt tell her I was drinking. My husband is gone till Wednesday. I figure this is my last hurrah.
I hear people in meetings say "oh, only a bottle of wine a night? That's it?" and then in hear horror stories of DUI's, rehab, detox, firing of jobs, divorce... And I almost feel in-adequate. No DUI's here, no loss of family, or job. It's like ... Am I pretending/wanting to say I'm an alcoholic to label myself? But when I'm sober, I cry. I'm confused. I hate this. So confused. I haven't hit "rock bottom". People don't look at me in the community and say "she's got a problem". Heck - the few I've told that I think I have a problem say "are you sure?" I'm so confused...
I hear people in meetings say "oh, only a bottle of wine a night? That's it?" and then in hear horror stories of DUI's, rehab, detox, firing of jobs, divorce... And I almost feel in-adequate. No DUI's here, no loss of family, or job. It's like ... Am I pretending/wanting to say I'm an alcoholic to label myself? But when I'm sober, I cry. I'm confused. I hate this. So confused. I haven't hit "rock bottom". People don't look at me in the community and say "she's got a problem". Heck - the few I've told that I think I have a problem say "are you sure?" I'm so confused...
It is about whether you can control your drinking. Whether you can control the amount you drink once you start and whether you are able to reliably abstain from drinking altogether if you choose to. Those issues of control are what you need to focus on in understanding the problem.
If drinking is causing you a problem then it is a problem regardless of whether other people think it is problem or not. And it doesnt matter whether it is obvious externally or not, it is what is going on inside that matters. My alcoholism was like an iceberg - the majority of it hidden - the pain that was apparent externally was nothing compared to the pain, desolation, hopelessness, desperation etc that I felt inside.
Rock bottom is a wierd thing - something that is only ever apparent with hindsight. All it is is a point where we stopped going down and started going up. Nothing special or dramatic has to happen. Sometimes it does for people but often not.
You dont have to prove to people you are an alcoholic or that you belong in AA. It is what is going on inside that truly links us.
The important things are whether you want to be sober and how you think you stand in relation to those issues of control - both once you are drinking and in regard to the first drink.
I figure people fall into any one of a number of camps with this....
1) Alcoholic
2) Alcoholic in denial
3) Problem drinker-can stop but sometimes makes some less than stellar decisions around alcohol.
4) True social drinker
5) Non drinker
The question to ask is (IMO) if you're in the 3rd group can you evolve to the 4th group? I began a process back in September and have made great progress in my own "program". In continuing meeting with a psychiatrist who headed an addiction program in NYC for years, I have my personal answer.
Note that one of my earliest posts around my discernment was met with some less than supportive tone in here. My post had something to do with going to AA meetings for support even if I don't believe I'm an alcoholic. Candidly, someone suggested that if I wasn't an alcoholic, then why was I posting in here.
I can almost guarantee that if you do find supportive meetings, it can only be helpful. Remember, the only requirement for AA is the desire to quit drinking.